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City Paper - The Baltimore Business Journal reports that the Apex in Fells Point, Baltimore’s last porn movie theater, will be auctioned off on October 11.The place, which opened in 1942 and switched to porn in 1972, has been struggling for years. In his City Paper feature on the place in 2010, The Last Dirty Picture Show, Van Smith asked a cashier when would be the best time to come and find a crowd.[He] thinks for a second, takes a sip from his paper cup, and says: “About 1965.”

Spill out some extra cum for the old Apex tonight. Only took until 2013, but the last porn theater in Baltimore will be gone soon. Sad, sad day for the best and brightest of Baltimore. Truly the dawning of a new era when creepy 50 year old men cant wack it in the same room together. Like, gotta imagine the few people that still go there have to be 1) actual retarded people, or 2) registered sex offenders who aren’t allowed to own computers. There’s no other real demographic for public masturbation.

The City Paper went in and took some photos of the good old Apex and it is about as disgusting as you would think. It’s basically the worst place outside of Pittsburgh. You can see nsfw pics of the theater over at the city paper.

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And there you have it. That’s where adult men went to masturbate at 11 in the morning. What is the correct play when you go into one of those? Do you bring the pants all the way down and do your thing? Do you give yourself a more discrete OTPHJ? And after you finish, do you sit through the rest of the film? You have to get your money’s worth, I suppose.

And just remember, next time you hate your job, someone whose job it was to mop up after the matinee showing of backdoor sluts 9 just got laid off. Sorry Neil.