MY SUPERSIZED BREASTS COULD KILL ME

Huff - Fifteen years ago, Elizabeth Starr got illegal “string” breast implants to help advance her career. Now, she says, they could end her life. The 43-year-old porn star, who sports O-cup breasts, got the implants 15 years ago. Since then, Barcroft Media reports, she’s had 63 corrective procedures to deal with complications stemming from her original surgery. Doctors have recommended that the mother of two get a double mastectomy to protect her from the risk of blood clots and infection, but after more than 60 surgeries, Starr told Barcroft she can’t face the prospect of going under the knife again. Starr explained why she got the huge implants in the first place. “Back then I had a family to support and I knew getting bigger boobs would boost my career prospects,” Starr said, according to the Daily Mail. “Now I live day-to-day worrying I might be struck down by infections or blood clots. It’s ruined my life.” The New York Daily News has more on string implants:

“The procedure involves putting synthetic polypropylene ‘strings’ into the breasts. The strings generate fluid production and then absorb the fluid, causing the breasts to continuously expand over time. The implants were banned in the United States and Europe a few years after Starr’s operation.”

“It’s hard when you have been a victim of something and it’s even harder when you choose a path in life where people might look down on you and think, ‘she deserved it,’” Starr said, according to the Mail. “But I wouldn’t wish this on anyone and I hope my story will act as a warning.”

MY SUPERSIZED BREASTS COULD KILL ME

How cool is that?! She got boobs that never stop growing! Science, bitch! No kidding she got these things, talk about an investment that never stops giving. Fuck a stock market, you get boobs that keep growing. People keep coming back for more and more. People probably called their buddies when her new movies were coming out, gathered around their VCRs, sitting giddy in anticipation, knowing her jugs will be ever bigger this time than they were last time. Freaking out like black people at a dunk contest when those WMDs came onto the screen. Popcorn flying in the air, leaping over couches to give high fives. And then her boobs just keep growing until they literally explode in her face. Michael Bay couldn’t even come up with something that awesome. Would be the highest selling movie in the history of movies. Get James Cameron on the phone, we have a movie to make!