Have a great weekend, ya animals.
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Deadline - FX Networks is making it clear it wants to stay in the Louis CK business. The network already has Louis CK’sLouisCK2 acclaimed comedy series Louie, produced by FX Productions. Now FX Prods. has inked an overall deal with Louis CK and his company Pig Newton to develop and produce new series. The agreement is separate from Louie, which this year earned ad-supported cable’s first best comedy series Emmy nomination. It returns for Season 4 in May 2014. The new series under the overall pact, Louis CK’s first, will be created or supervised by Louis CK, who would have the option to write or direct any of them and will executive produce.
You know what is drastically underrated? TV networks like FX and Comedy Central that pushes all the PC nonsense aside and allows comedians to make whatever shows they want. The same way AMC and HBO make great shows, comedians are taking over cable television and I couldn’t be happier. If you haven’t watched Louis, I’m not sure what Big Bang Theory nonsense you’re watching instead, but hop to it. It’s the best show featuring a half mexican ginger you’ll watch in your life. Quite an endorsement.
The love affair with Louis CK has passed (remember when he was the hottest shit since starter jackets for a good 6 months?), so here are my top 3 comedians that I like at the moment:
EDIT: I didn’t include people who are already superstars/mainstream in the comedy game.
3) Pete Holmes – Does the show after Conan on TBS. Expert interviewer.
2) Anthony Jeselnik – Probably know him from Comedy Central roasts, but his full stand up is really good too.
1) John Mulaney – Best there is right now.
Post – Washington recalled defensive prospect Patrick Wey from the Hershey Bears Thursday, making him the 12th defenseman to spend time on the Capitals’ roster during the regular season.
Oh good, another rookie defenseman in the never ending rotation. As if THAT is the solution to this team. Basically, the Capitals are doing to Ovechkin what Cleveland did to Lebron. Ovi is a once in a generation goal scorer. He’s been rookie of the year, a three time MVP, and three time leading goal scorer, with very little else to show for it. Hasn’t even sniffed the Stanley Cup. After another playoff KO last season, the Caps looked to be contenders for the Cup this year, and if you have watched any amount of Caps hockey, you would know the current squad, short of some sort of miracle, is nowhere close to a Cup team.
The biggest problem this team has is defense. Always has been. George McPhee simply has not brought in an elite defenseman, and year after year after year it has burned them. They are currently allowing the third most shots per game of any team. Is that good? Is that how you win in the NHL? Not at all. Not even a little bit.
Let’s look at who has played on the blue line for them this season: Karl Alzner, John Carlson, John Erskine, Mike Green, Jack Hillen, Steve Olesky, Dmitry Orlov, Nate Schmidt, Alex Urbom, Tyson Strachan, Connor Carrick, Patrick Wey. Out of that list, Only Alzner, Carlson, and Green (by default) would make every other NHL team’s roster. The rest of them have been weaved in and out of lineup, simply because none are good enough to play consistently as a top 6 defenseman. Mike Green is a terrible defensive liability every time he is matched up vs the opposing team’s top line. Erskine is one of the worst hockey players I’ve ever seen. And the rest are AHLers.
If this team is paying a top 3 player in the league, why haven’t they made moves to at least remotely be competitive for a Stanley Cup? He’s been on the top line with Marcus Johansson all season, who is 275th in the league in shots on net. 275th. Less than a shot and a half per game. Realistically, how much longer is Ovi going to give it his all until he becomes fed up with the organization and demands a trade? We have seen him several times this year take ridiculously stupid penalties late in games out of frustration. Something is brewing in him. He’s fed up. And so are we. Changes have to be made.
FloridaObviously - Any story that begins with people “playing” with guns is doomed from the start. This one is no exception. Florida resident Justin Holt was tragically shot and killed on Monday while he and his girlfriend were playing with their friend’s handgun. According to Florida news station WPBF, Holt and his friends were dry-firing the gun at each other for fun earlier in the day. After the friends were done playing with the gun, the gun’s owner loaded the weapon and set it on a table. Holt’s girlfriend Erin Steele never saw the gun’s owner reload the weapon. About two hours later, she picked the gun up, pointed it at Holt, and fired. Instead of the hearing the quiet click of a dry-fire, she saw her boyfriend fall to the ground in pain. She’d shot him in the chest. EMS forces arrived at the scene within minutes and took Holt to nearby Delray Medical Center. Their rescue efforts were in vain, though, as Holt died soon after arriving at the hospital. Boca Raton police interviewed all witnesses of the shooting. Everyone present gave the same account of events and confirmed that the shooting was absolutely an accident. Holt’s family spoke to the media and said they want no charges pressed against Steele. “We have a lot of compassion for her because she’s got to live with that, no matter what she does, for the rest of her life,” Holt’s grandfather, 82-year-old Michael DiFiore, told the Sun Sentinel.
Fucking hate when games turn sour. One second you’re laughing, playing GUTS doing dive-rolls over the couch firing blanks, and the next thing you know you shot the love of your life. It’s the Florida version of getting a chick pregnant after a night out drinking. You bring the girl back from Bentley’s and don’t bother wrapping it up cause you know there’s no way possible you can possibly fire anything off, then next thing you know it’s 7am and you are walking down Route 1 to the CVS to get the morning after pill. Ammo just popping out of nowhere will always and forever ruin lives.
Today in the DMV, we have three chicks, all who bring something different to the table. First, Carrie Underwood. Grade A smoke who is popping up everywhere. Singing and dancing your dick off everywhere you look on TV. When you think about it, do you want to marry someone way more successful who is globe-trotting and never around? Then our old friend Amanda Bynes. Looney as the day is long, but look how hot she used to be. When she slips into coo-coo land, she’s doing triple backflips off your dick. And finally, Gwen Stefani. MILF doesn’t even begin to describe her. But she has a bunch of kids and is currently pregnant, is that something you want to fuck or marry?
Marry: Underwood. Thought about just fucking her to teach her about being too successful, but I’ll marry her instead. Trophy husband.
Fuck: Stefani. I believe she’s a freak of nature and is still tight where it matters, and I’m interested in testing out that theory. If it’s wrong, you still fucked Gwen Stefani, so it could be worse.
Kill: Bynes. I 100% fuck Bynes pre-rehab, easy. No question. But post-rehab she’s worthless. Once she slips again, and stops eating and is drunk 23 hours a day, she vaults back to the top of the fuck list.
It’s once again Hockey Fight Friday, where we take a look at the best hockey fight of the week you may have missed, or a classic fight that you want to see again.
Todays bout is from last night, squaring the Oilers Luke Gazdic vs the Avalanche’s Patrick Bordeleau.
Let’s check out how they match up:
Height: 6′ 3″
Weight: 210 lbs
Hometown: Toronto, ON; Canada
DOB: July 25, 1989
Height: 6′ 6″
Weight: 225 lbs
Hometown: Montreal, QC; Canada
DOB: March 23, 1986
This fight is very one-sided, but I love the heart Bordeleau shows staying in there. And how he tells the refs he’s a-okay after getting his bell rung. Props to the smaller guy and HFF verteran Gazdic for dominating this fight. Awesome fighter.
Well that will put a damper on anyone’s day. Just a normal afternoon of jumping off a low cliff and next thing you know you’re smashing your face into a boulder. He ate so much rock Smitty is wondering how he can sign up. If you fast forward to about 2:50 and watch it in real time, you see how fast that shit happened, which leads me to believe BASE jumping is about the hardest thing to control in the universe. Just like 7th grade boners in science class, that rock just appeared out of nowhere. One step off the ledge and it was over before it even began.
Source - Jesse Angle, Chris Kantola, and Paul Harrison were jobless and homeless for much of the past year, but thanks in part to Bitcoin — the world’s most popular digital currency — they never went without food. Between April and September, while living on the streets of Pensacola, Florida, they used their laptops and smartphones to collect a total of about four or five bitcoins. Some of it arrived through donations. Some of it came from rather unsophisticated online services that dole out tiny fractions of the digital currency if you spend some time looking at videos and ads. And over the course of the summer, this free money bought them a pretty steady supply of pizza and chicken tenders. Today, after finding a house they can rent with a little help from the government, the trio is off the streets, and life is even better than it was before — except that a bitcoin is now worth over $1,000. “The $600 we spent would now be worth $6,000,” says Angle. “I wish we had gone hungry.” His buddy Kantola feels much the same way. “We’re definitely kicking ourselves. We spent $5,000 or $6,000 on food!” he says. “Back in 2009, you could have bought four bitcoins for a dollar. If I could go back [and buy some then], I wouldn’t be here right now. I’d probably be in a mansion.”
Sucks to be you, Florida homeless people! Man, just the worst luck. They put all their money into the bitcoin basket, and it somehow worked out for them. They were living like rich people, eating actual food. And now they are regretting eating. Lowest of the low when starving people would rather starve. Just shows the power of the bitcoin. This fake but not fake currency is now worth over 1k per bitcoin? Remember when the Winkelvi bought 11 million dollars worth of bitcoins and then made a quick 20 million profit off them? Well now those bitcoins are worth about 100 million. Somehow someway, a currency based on the internet is making people a shit ton of money, and I still can’t figure it out for the life of me. Today, one bitcoin is worth $980. Yesterday it was worth $1200, and 6 months ago only $50 each. Next time someone creates a currency, I need in on the ground floor.
PS: How about these homeless folks using their “laptops and smartphones” to collect bitcoins? Why aren’t they using these laptops to go to monster.com and find themselves some employment? I don’t understand homeless life I suppose. They just aren’t what they used to be.