Taylor from Maryland is exactly what we need to cure our rainy day blues. Fire smoke.
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Fox – DeLand police rushed to a home where neighbors reported a woman had been screaming outside for 15 minutes only to find out she was fighting over a blanket, according to an arrest report. A Florida woman is accused of attacking her boyfriend in a fight over a blanket. Deland Police were called to the couple’s Lindley Blvd. home at 4:14 a.m. on Oct. 13th. According to a police report filed by officer G. Faustich, neighbors had called after Emma Campbell was heard screaming in the front yard for about 15 minutes. Police police say the couple had been arguing over who could use a blanket and things escalated to a tug of war and then a fight in which Campbell allegedly attacked McCall with her fingernails. Campbell, 20, left several scratches on her boyfriend, Alexander McCall, according to police photos released to the media. They show injuries to his chest, back and thigh. Campbell was charged with battery and has been released from the Volusia County Jail.
I hate to victim blame here, but do not get between a bitch and her blanket. That’s pretty much rule 1A of dating. Bitches want to be under blankets at weird-ass times, and you just have to learn to get used to it. 20 degrees outside? No blanket needed. 100 degrees? Shivering under a blanket like she’s in a god damn igloo. If the guy for a second thought his back wasn’t going to end up looking link Kunta Kinte’s, he better get out of the dating world and quick. What I don’t know, however, is how he allowed it to escalate to the point his back appeared to be mauled by a saber-toothed tiger. Maybe after the 3rd or 4th scratch that resulted in bloodshed you call it a day. Maybe go home, grab your own blanket, and try again.
(Video isn’t embedding directly, as is tradition. Click the link below to see it.)
CSM - We might be seeing the pre-pre-pre-prototype of Marty McFly’s hoverboard. Arx Pax, a small start-up from Los Gatos, Calif., launched a Kickstarter campaign Tuesday for a hoverboard and other hovering inventions. The future might not quite be now, but the very first taste of it will run you $10,000 for a hoverboard. The board levitates about one inch off the ground and the battery runs for 7 minutes, but looking at demonstrations given to writers at Gigaom and The Verge, it works.
I’m going to try and stay calm, because I’ve been lied to in the past. When Tony Hawk, most famous for encouraging kids to sit at home and play video games all day, look at me straight in the eyes and lied to me about his fake hoverboard. I haven’t been able to trust anyone since, hence why I don’t have a girlfriend (hahaha). But now, there seems to be a light at the end of the tunnel. At long last, hoverboards are here. 7 minutes of hovering 1 inch off the ground for only $10,000 is the steal of the lifetime. Move over Louisiana Purchase, a new big dog is in town. And it goes by the name hoverboard, and for the low cost of my entire life savings, it will be mine.
Time - What interests me is how quickly it got pushed into the social consciousness. We were all fine with it since the 1930s, and all of a sudden we go, “No, gotta change it”? It seems like when the first levee breaks, everybody gets on board. I know a lot of Native Americans don’t have a problem with it, but they’re not going to say, “No, we really want the name.” That’s not how they’re going to use their pulpit. It’s like my feeling about gun control: “I get it. You have the right to have guns. But look, let’s forget that right. Let’s forget the pleasure you get safely on your range, because it’s in the wrong hands in other places. And why is McConaughey, who hails from Texas, a Redskins fan, anyway? “First, four years old, watching Westerns, I always rooted for the Indians,” McConaughey, who once played a football coach in We Are Marshall, said. “Second, my favorite food was hamburgers. The Redskins had a linebacker named Chris Hanburger.” The interviewer asked McConaughey if he would be hurt to see the logo gone. “It’s not going to hurt me. It’s just… I love the emblem,” the Oscar winner said. “I dig it. It gives me a little fire and some oomph. But now that it’s in the court of public opinion, it’s going to change. I wish it wouldn’t, but it will.””
For some reason the Internet is going buhnanas over stupid shit today. First people are losing their minds because a standup comedian called Bill Cosby, a guy who is known to have sexually assaulted women, a rapist. I saw that and was like what, huh? It’s a comedian on stage telling a joke about a guy who tries to rape chicks. And then people got over than when they found out Matthew McConaughey, a lifelong Redskins fans, supports the name. He digs it. It’ gives him some oomph. And I ask those who care about Matthew McConaughey’s opinion on a social issue why the fuck you care about Matthew McConaughey’s opinion on a social issue. That’s the beauty of this, he’s allowed to think whatever he wants. He grew up a Skins fan, he likes the name, so be it. Plus, the fact he likes the team because Chris Hanburger is the most Matthew McConaughey thing in the world.
PS: Think the Skins can lose to the Cowboys still? Colt gonna give it to ya, gonna give it to ya.
It’s DC’s biggest Halloween party this Saturday. 10,000 people, over 36 bars, and $2 Coors Lights, $3 Blue Moons, and $4 Bacardi’s. Doesn’t get much better than that. Straight up, this is the place to be on Saturday. Everyone is drunk, everyone is dressed up (or down), and everyone is walking bar to bar drinking 2 dollar beers. Plus, a midnight costume contest where you can win a trip for 2 to Vegas.
You can buy tickets today by going HERE. Use the promo code “STOOL” and get 15% off your tickets.
If you can’t bring a girl home from this crawl, I don’t know what to tell ya.
This is the biggest and best bar crawl of the year. Participating bars include:
The Front Page, Irish Whiskey, Madhatter, McFadden’s, The Exchange, RFD, Jackpot, Fado, Greene Turtle, 51st State, Barcode, Black Rooster, BlackFinn DC, Bottom Line, Bread & Brew, Buffalo Billiards, James Hobans, Mackey’s, MIA, Midtown Party Plex, Ozio, Panache, Pizza No. 17, Public Bar, Recessions, Rumors, Sign of the Whale, Mission, Darlington House, Cantina Pub, Lucky Strike, The Manor, Bar Louie, Dirty Martini, Redline, Lucky Strike and more to come!
Don’t sit at home on Saturday when you can be bar crawling around DC. 5pm-1 am for the drink specials, and then DC bars don’t close til 3. See you out there on Saturday, bitches.
The crawl will sell out. You and your friends should not be left out. Buy your tickets here.
Source - The ATM lets customers buy and sell Bitcoins based on whatever the prevailing rate is at that particular moment (as of 10 a.m. Tuesday, CoinDesk listed the going rate for one Bitcoin as $386.62). It changes in real-time. “You can sit here and day-trade all day,” quipped Eric Grill, CEO of CoinOutlet, the North Carolina company that installed the ATM. CoinOutlet has more than 100,000 Bitcoin ATMs nationwide, with plans to put ATMs in BWI Airport and Penn Station, among other locations, with dates yet to be determined, Grill said. “I’m local, so maybe I’ll use it to buy a beer at some point,” said Bill Burch of Canton. Burch bought about $5 worth of Bitcoin. The machine took just 5 cents of his $5 as a commission. Joshua Riddle, cofounder of Federal Hill-based Bitsie, said the rate at the ATM is still better than many online exchanges. “The best part is when a company starts accepting Bitcoins, they see who’s really using it,” Riddle said. “Now with this ATM, a business can offer a discount for Bitcoins. There’s no transaction fees for the merchant.” For his part, Reusling said he accepts Bitcoin same as cash, with no special deals for those using the cryptocurrency. Riddle said his startup, which works with businesses to facilitate Bitcoin use in the area, is currently on-boarding six different companies. One of Riddle’s takers is rapper Sorcez Dieniro, who worked with Bitsie to accept Bitcoin as payment for his next album. He said he read a recent article in XXL magazine that talked about Bitcoin and the rappers who are coming around to the cryptocurrency, including 50 Cent. “50 Cent jumped to Vitamin Water. Nobody believed in Vitamin Water,” Dieniro said. “If 50 jumped … he’s a pretty intelligent guy, he made pretty intelligent investments.”
Been sitting here scratching my head trying to figure this one out. Even hit up your boy Banks on Gchat and asked him what the deal with this is, and he has no clue either. He also doesn’t know not to be a racist on Twitter, so I’m not sure why I expected much from him anyway. How does a fake currency have an ATM? Does unicorn dust come out when you make a withdraw? I don’t follow at all. But it’s a thing. And it’s a thing that is happening at a bar in Baltimore.
“You can sit here and day-trade all day,” quipped Eric Grill, CEO of CoinOutlet, the North Carolina company that installed the ATM. What the fuck does that even mean? Who goes to a bar to sit there and day-trade BitCoins? I have a feeling if you know what BitCoins are and how they work, you probably aren’t going to a bar to buy and sell them. Probably have never even been inside of a bar, or a female, at all. This whole thing is ridiculous. A year ago one BitCoin was over $1,000. Now they are at $386. Next week they will be as real as Nessie. You’re better off buying NateBux, at least we admit those are fake.
FLA – A robbery suspect was arrested Sunday after he returned to the same gas station and was identified by the customer he robbed, according to a Broward Sheriff’s Office report. Johnny Big Sims, 31, faces a charge of robbery by sudden snatching. According to the arrest report, a man was purchasing items inside a gas station on Northwest 27th Avenue and was preparing to pay the clerk when Sims walked up behind the man and snatched $25 in cash from his hand. The next day, Sims returned to the gas station and was identified by the customer, who also happened to be there, the report said. That customer called deputies, who arrived and detained Sims. While Sims was being handcuffed, the man told deputies, “That’s him. That’s the one who took my money.” According to the report, Sims repeatedly masturbated while in the interview room despite numerous warnings from deputies to stop. Sims eventually had to be placed in handcuffs to get him to stop.
This story is like a movie that I would walk out of because it was too over the top and unbelievable. Fine, the guy is named Johnny Big Sims. Great movie name. And then Johnny Big Simms steals from a guy at a gas station, then just so happens to return to the gas station at the exact same time as the guy he robbed the day before? Yea, I’m sure that happened. And then to cap it off he decides to furiously masturbate while the cops try to interview him? What a ridiculous movie.
Way for the news station to completely bury the lead here. Blah blah blah, guy steals from gas station, happens every day. Blah blah blah, he goes back and gets caught. Happens from time to time, whatever. Guy then won’t stop jerking off in front of the cops?! That’s the real story here. They don’t call him Johnny Big Sims for nothing. Guy is steamed up, engine revved, ready to go at a moment’s notice. You want to talk to him about that 25 bucks he stole yesterday? That’s fine, hope you enjoy talking to him with a big cock in your face. That’s just the way Johnny Big Sims shake, rattle and rolls.
ARL Now - A man was arrested Thursday night after allegedly doing push-ups in public while naked, then resisting arrest. The incident happened around 8:00 p.m. on the 3200 block of 24th Street S. Police say a local resident, 31-year-old Timothy Lowe, was nude and doing push-ups in the middle of the street. “The subject ignored numerous commands by police and began approaching officers in an aggressive manner while yelling obscenities,” according to a crime report. “The subject was taken into custody following a taser deployment.” Lowe has been charged with indecent exposure, disorderly conduct and obstruction of justice. He was under the influence of the drug PCP at the time of the incident, according to Arlington County Police spokesman Dustin Sternbeck. Lowe, who spoke out against what he described as police profiling and harassment at a community forum on policing a day prior to his arrest, has had other run-ins with the law. In September, he was arrested and charged in connection to a stabbing in the Nauck neighborhood.
Bravo Timothy, bravo. A follower of what I’ve been preaching for the last month- Swole don’t sleep. Doesn’t matter what’s going on around you, doesn’t matter how long of a day you’ve had blogging from your couch (or doing actual work at a job in an office, whatever), you still have to get your ass to the gym to get swole. And Timothy follows that to a T. So he popped some PCP? Still did shups in the street like a man. Of course he yelled at the cops for interrupting his swole sesh. Who was he disturbing? What, you can’t do naked pushups in front of your house anymore? I thought this was America? If anything, he was encouraging his neighbors to be more active. So a wag of my finger to the Arlington County cops for this unlawful arrest. If being swole is wrong, I don’t want to be right.
PS: I hope his dick is ok. Naked pushups as a black man on a gravel road can’t be very safe.
DraftKings is going big tonight. $75,000 in prizes with $10,000 for first for fantasy hockey. Think you know what you’re doing? Prove it. Pick your guys, watch the games, wake up rich. Pretty simple. The good news for you is there is $5,000 for finishing runner up to me.
-$75K Light the Lamp Fantasy Hockey Contest
-$75,000 in total prizes, $10,000 to first place
-$27 entry fee, 3150 total entries
-Top 630 fantasy scores are paid out
CNN – Breaking Bad’s” Walter White may have cleverly dodged authorities during his career as a drug kingpin, but his action figure hasn’t dodged the wrath of a Florida mother. Susan Schrivjer, a mother from Fort Myers, launched a petition in early October to have White — and other “Breaking Bad” action figures — removed from Toys R Us. As of Monday morning, the Change.org request has received more than 2,000 signatures. In the petition, Schrivjer — who wrote the appeal under the name “Susan Myers” — gets right to the point. “Toys R Us is well known around the world for their vast selection of toys for children of all ages,” she wrote. “However their decision to sell a Breaking Bad doll, complete with a detachable sack of cash and a bag of meth, alongside children’s toys is a dangerous deviation from their family friendly values.” In an interview with CNN affiliate WFTX of Fort Myers, Schrivjer expanded on her thoughts. “Kids mimic their action figures, if you will,” she told the station. “Do you want your child in an orange jumpsuit?”
Sorry, had to stop there to allow everyone to puke. Just a quick puke break before finishing the story. “KIDS MIMIC THEIR ACTION FIGURES, DO YOU WANT YOUR CHILD IN AN ORANGE JUMPSUIT”. That was a thing really said by a woman who is raising a kid. Seriously. She said that. Blame the action figures when your shitty kid doesn’t know right from wrong! It’s a toy’s fault when your kid starts selling meth! It’s Toys R Us’s fault you can’t look at your stupid kid and tell it killing and making blue meth for a Peruvian chicken restaurant owner is bad. PUKE PUKE PUKE.
Signers to her petition agree. “It’s sick that a company would design kids toys that glorify the making of meth. It’s just as sick to sell them,” wrote Jaime Keasler. “While I support free enterprise and there may be a market for these figures, this is a children’s toy store,” said Monica Tessmer. “It shouldn’t even be a question that this is inappropriate. Not a smart move Toy r Us.” The action figures include White — the chemistry teacher turned meth lord — and his assistant, Jesse Pinkman, in hazmat suits, as well as White as his gun-toting alter ego, Heisenberg. Toys R Us has yet to respond to a CNN query. In a statement to WFTX, the toy giant said, “The products you reference are carried in very limited quantities and the product packaging clearly notes that the items are intended for ages 15 and up. Items from this TV series are located in the adult action figure area of our stores.”
What an unbelievable story. Truly unreal. Some plastic figurine is going to turn your kid into a meth dealer? To that I say, hopefully. If you’re a shitty enough parent that your kid playing with a piece of plastic will that drastically change their life, then I hope your kid does end up in jail. You both deserve it. How about instead of making internet petitions, you tell your child to go read a book? Or just buy them an action figure that won’t inspire them to kill someone, you know, like a GI Joe? Good for Toys R Us for sticking to their guns. And as usual, Walter White wins in the end.
"Florida mom petitions against Toys 'R Us over Breaking Bad action figures." I'm so mad, I'm burning my Florida Mom action figure in protest
— Bryan Cranston (@BryanCranston) October 20, 2014