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Shirts have been flying off the shelves. Grab yours in time for all the St. Paddys bar crawls and parades and hijinx. DC Nats shirts and tanks for the DC stoolies, and a tribute to Natty Boh for the Maryland folk (and really, everyone, cause that shirt is awesome). Definitely the best shirts I’ve ever seen on the site.
Buy them here!
Do we also have Bryce Harper shirts?
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Introducing Jordan from Annapolis. Smoking hot model? Check. From Maryland? Check. Redskins fan? Check. The trifecta. Perfect Thursday smokeshow. And she invites you all to follow her on Instagram at instagram.com/joegbug.
Keep the nominations rolling. Send all smokeshows Facbeook links to DMV@barstoolsports.com.
V.League club Song Lam Nghe An defender Tran Dinh Song has been given the length punishment for a tackle that resulted in Hung Vuong An Giang midfielder Nguyen Anh Hung’s injury. The Vietnam Football Federation (VFF) has slapped a 28-match ban on a local footballer for breaking the leg of an opponent in a nasty challenge last week. Song Lam Nghe An defender Tran Dinh Song has been handed the harsh punishment after his challenge resulted in a broken leg for Hung Vuong An Giang midfielder Nguyen Anh Hung. In addition to the suspension, which will see Tran miss the entire 2014 campaign, he will also be fined VND20million (S$1,200) by the VFF. “The punishment is meant to be a warning to players throughout the nation, where violent behaviour on the field has gradually become more popular,” VFF said in a statement. However, SLNA coach Nguyen Huu Thang was unhappy with the verdict and hit back at the extremely harsh punishment given out to his player. “I do not take sides with my player,” Nguyen said. “I myself will fine him if he does wrong. We will appeal because his absence would strongly affect our name and V.League results.” Vietnam international defender Tran Dinh Dong has been handed a record 28-game suspension by the country’s football federation after breaking the leg of an opponent in a domestic league match. Dong, who plays for Song Lam Nghe An, was also fined 20 million dong (£567) for the foul on Hung Vuong An Giang midfielder Nguyen Anh Hung, who is expected to be sidelined for a year. The 26-year-old is not eligible to return to action this year and said he would appeal the verdict which also stipulated he should pay Hung’s medical bills.
I didn’t really try to read the whole thing. But all I know is the guy who did a flying curb stomp on the other guy’s leg was suspended for 28 games. Which is weird cause it didn’t really look that awful, it just so happened to snap it in half, that’s just bad luck. So what I’m hoping is he is being suspended 2 games for the bad tackle, and 26 games for rolling around on the ground like a fucking asshole idiot after the fact. Even in the Vietnamese league, they roll around on the ground like the French. 20 million dongs for doing that, bro. That’s a lot of dongs.
HuffingtonPost - A photo of a Cheeto that looks like a man masturbating was uploaded to Reddit on Tuesday by user stephthehobbit. Is this photo real or a flamin’ hot pack of Photoshop lies? We’re not sure, but either way, it’s already spawned this horrifying gif.
Not sure I have much to add to this. When the Huffington Post publishes a cheeto that looks like a guy cranking it, I’m obligated to blog it. Journalism 101. Not going to be shocked when my phone is ringing off the hook and it’s every university in the world begging me to guest lecture at their journalism schools. Sorry, I can’t. I’m busy. Blogging about masturbating cheetos.
Big fan of his work. He has 242 of the best cooking instructional videos you’ll ever see. Not sure why he doesn’t have his own show yet on the cooking network. He’s done 242 videos. About time he gets recognized for his genius. Him + Sir Fedora= unstoppable force. Tag team champions of the wooooooooorld.
Literally any conversation those two have has potential to make the world blow up. It’s butterfly effect. It starts with just a chat, and a bird’s head pops off. Nobody notices. Then they start texting and hanging out. A tidal wave hits Japan. A couple people scratch their head. And then they do the unthinkable, they make a movie together, and the amount of terribleness combined with the amount of hate that would build up inside of me would literally, not figuratively, make the world explode. Finished. We need to get rid of one of them before it’s too late.
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Finally, my chance to shine. I’m still ofer when it comes to these. Superbowl, college hoops, NBA hoops, golf, zippy, nothing. Hardly even sniffed a mincash. Meanwhile Mo is dancing around making his 5k rain from the rooftops after winning the college basketball tourney. Nice life bro.
But it all ends tonight. Tonight I win 10k in fantasy hockey. No doubt in my mind.
PS: Caps vs Bruins tonight. This should be fun.
Total Number of Votes: 8635
Kind of a more random MFK, but I saw these pictures of Gemma Massey this morning and I was like oh Gemma is a hot chick name huh? So I looked it up and I remembered Gemma Atkinson, who is legit the only girl with short hair I’ve ever been in love with. And then I saw this other model Gemma Ward, who appears to be 75 pounds but really smoking hot too. Looks a lot like Amanda Seyfried, which I have no problem with. So we get to MFK them on this here Thursday. Massey seems extremely slutty. DTF in the worst way, but kinda hoeish which turns me off. (To be honest, I might have used pics of two different people for her, I’m not positive though, but if I did let’s just pretend it’s the same person for the sake of the game) Ward is your standard tiny model, but has also been in movies and you can throw her around like a beachball. Small chicks like her know what they’re doing. Everyone loves it. And Atkinson. A flash from the past. That picture of her in the pink was all we needed back in the dial up internet days. Both Massey and Ward seem like perfect fucks, but then Atkinson is a bit older and has short hair. Tricky, tricky.
Marry: Atkinson. I’ll deal with the short hair because boobs. Boobs, boobs, boobs.
Fuck: Ward. Need. She loves being choked, no doubt about it.
Kill: Massey. Oh well.
I’m in a dodgeball league here in baltimore. After our game I was approached by a dude dressed in all black, like he was Jack Riley straight out of mighty ducks’ hawks camp. He talked about how his team in another league is losing a few people and wants me to join, then hands me this recruitment invite and says to email him. This man was scouting talent for dodgeball. Total Hardo right? Has to be.
Is that the biggest compliment you’ll ever receive? For sure is. Nothing in this guy’s life will ever surpass being professionally scouted by Jack Reilly to play on another dodgeball team. Guy brought business cards and all. No, that doesn’t make him a hardo at all. It makes him a winner. Nobody plays dodgeball to have fun. You play. To win. The game. And if that means putting on your best suit and traveling near and far to get the best and brightest the game has offer, so be it. That’s part of the job. It’s not every day you can tell someone you were handpicked to play on the up and coming dodgeball dynasty in Baltimore. That’s like being picked by Calipari to be Kentucky’s point guard. Big things for the future of the Young Go Hards.
How many minutes would a soccer player spend rolling around on the ground if this happened? How many games would LeBron miss if he lost a tooth? 100% mortal kombat lock he would get carried off on a stretcher. He honestly might sit out until the playoffs if a molar popped out and would definitely come back wearing a full face mask reminiscent of Nacho Libre. Don’t forget, Brandon Jennings missed 3 weeks with a tooth ache.
Which reminds me of my favorite tooth moment of the season brought to you by John Tavares. You can hear the tooth popping out even though you can’t you still can.
Second place goes to Krys Barch. As it turned out, he actually did toss it.
Third place goes to Pascal Dupuis.