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The Drew Nicholas Shot Taking You Into The Weekend


So fired up for March Madness I can’t stand it. See you all at Capitol Lounge two weeks from today. Might just end every blog day for now on with awesome tournament clips like this one. Yep. That’s what I’m going to do.

Have a great weekend.

By Nate posted March 6th, 2015 at 5:35 PM

Just Your Standard Ginger Who Convinces His Girlfriend To Drop Out Of School, Drops Acid, Then Beats Her Up

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Palm Beach – Palm Beach County Sheriff’s deputies arrested an 18-year-old Jupiter man after he allegedly went on a naked rampage inside a house while screaming that everyone in the home was going to die. Daniel Leneve is facing several charges after he and his 17-year-old girlfriend each took three tabs of acid or LSD. Deputies responded to the 6600 block of Church Street and found Leneve and his girlfriend in a “daze” while swinging their arms at each other, according to an arrest report. Leneve ran toward the deputies and, when told to get on the ground, he complied by falling backward. As deputies continued to battle Leneve, the 17-year-old girl ran over and pointed her finger at the man’s face. Leneve allegedly reacted by biting down on the girl’s finger, causing a laceration that required treatment at a hospital. An unidentified female witness told deputies that Leneve and the girl were hanging out in the backyard when she heard a commotion. Leneve allegedly “violently” tossed the girl around, then walked into the house where he took his clothes off before smashing mirrors, glass and other items. The woman told police that the couple has been dating for six months and that the girl has dropped out of school, become combative and is “out of control” since she began seeing Leneve.


That’s how you end a week, right here. Ginger in Florida going ape shit on his girlfriend after dropping acid. The most incredible part of this story is he has a girlfriend. That’s why we end the week on a high note here. A little hope going into the weekend. Send those “babes” texts with the confidence of this ginger. Approach girls at the bar knowing that if this ginger ass squinty eyed albino curly headed fuck can get a girl to drop out of school, you can do anything. Just think to yourself, GAWWSEACHFD?

By Nate posted March 6th, 2015 at 4:55 PM

Helga Lovekaty Says Hello

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Every now and then it’s good to remember she exists. And her only reason for existence is to make us happy. So in a way she’s no different than Nelson Mandela and Gandhi.


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By Nate posted March 6th, 2015 at 4:05 PM

Ravens Offseason Preview Part III: Who To Target In Free Agency


The free agency period is almost upon us. Saturday at 4 PM, teams can contact pending free agents and can sign them come Tuesday afternoon. This means the clock has almost run out to re-sign Torrey Smith before he gets a very clear idea of what his market value is. If we don’t see him signed in the next 24 hours, I think we can consider him gone. The biggest reason he’s probably deuces is the same reason the Ravens have seen success matched by few in the NFL. Torrey is probably going to fetch a 3rd or 4th round compensation pick in next years draft. The compensation pick system has to be taken into consideration when evaluating what Ozzie Newsome’s next move is. Since the system was introduced 2 decades ago, no team has stockpiled more picks than the Ravens’ 41.  Here’s how it works:


Basically the number of FA’s that leave MINUS the number of FA’s you sign equals the amount of comp picks you get. The more cash they sign for, the better the pick. Last year Art Jones, Mike Oher, Corey Graham, and Ed Dickson all left, while the Ravens signed Darian Stewart. This should result in 4th, 5th, and 6th round picks. If there’s one common denominator among teams that are consistent contenders, it’s that they stockpile picks. It’s how you consistently infuse young talent into your football team despite picking towards the end of the 1st round.

But the most important thing to know about the system is this. Free agent’s who get cut (as opposed to having contracts expire) don’t get factored into this formula. That’s why the Ravens go after guys like Steve Smith and Elvis Dumervil and not the top-flight free agents available. So even if they had the cap space, the Ravens wouldn’t be throwing cash at any big names like Demarco Murray or Devin McCourty. They’ll go to the trash heap. Here are some options (including some familiar faces) that I think would fit the profile by position.

Guys who would cost us a comp pick guys are in italics while cap casualties (the good guys) are in bold:



Byron Maxwell – One of the top names on the CB market, but probably out of their price range. I don’t like the fact that he was a system fit in Seattle and benefitted from playing with the Sherman’s and Chancellors out there. Pass.

Walter Thurmond – Thurmond only played 2 games with NYG last year because of a torn pec. Bringing an injury-prone corner into a unit full of them probably isn’t wise, but if he’s still sitting on the market late in the process, this could be low-risk, high reward. Otherwise I think his physicality would be a fine addition and would come at a cheaper price than Maxwell.

Cary Williams – Alright, he kinda stunk as a starter in Philly. And his role in that defense really brought out the douchiness that we all knew he had in Baltimore. But that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t be a fine nickel again for the Ravens. They don’t need starters, they just need depth. He’s obviously familiar with the Ravens and he’s interested in coming back. So what the hell, why not.

Cortland Finnegan – Somehow a bigger douche than Cary. But he’s another cap casualty and has proven to be a capable football player over the years. Wouldn’t be the worst flier to take in the world.



Mike Adams – Would be nice to have a pro-bowl safety, but all signs point to him returning to the Colts.

Rahim Moore - Not as bad a safety as a certain play might suggest. Although Flacco dicing him up in practice would be nostalgic, he would count against the comp pick and isn’t worth what others will pay.

Antrel Rolle – Interesting considering his experience playing with Will Hill. Hill even suggested this signing himself. Rolle is 32 and coming off a poor year, which might actually play into Ozzie’s hand when it comes to his price. The idea seems like a good one, but yeah… comp picks…

Dawan Landry - Hey this guy looks familiar. Another guy who’s 32, but would fill the physical safety role that we need. Wouldn’t be surprised if he follows Rex Ryan over to Buffalo though.

Bernard Pollard – YES! BRING THAT MAN BACK! He’s not as old as one might think. 30 years young. Plenty left in the tank. Just gotta heal that achilles up some. Need him to do some damage in Baltimore once again. Perfect because he’s a cap casualty. Such a Raven.


Wide Receiver

Michael Crabtree – One of the few FA’s I’d explore that wasn’t a cap casualty. With Torrey, Cobb, and Maclin rounding out the top tier of receivers, I think Crabtree should come at a bargain. His numbers have declined, but whose hasn’t in San Fran? His talent is undeniable and he has the size and athleticism that complements Joe so well.

Steve Johnson/Anquan Boldin (!!!!!) – More from San Fran, although they haven’t been cut yet. Both are set to make over $5 million. So one or both may be cut. Both have similar size. I’d obviously prefer Boldin, anyone who watched the 2012 playoffs knows that.  The caveat here is that our top two receivers would be 36 and 34 years old, so they’d probably have to draft a receiver for down the road too. Stevie may be 28, but lacks a consistent track record. We’ll wait and see what the Niners do though.

Andre Johnson – Who knows what’s going to happen here? Will the Texans trade him or just cut him loose? The Ravens can’t afford to take on his cap number, so trading for him isn’t an option. But if he’s cut, they gotta go after him hard. He’s the phyiscal receiver that Flacco has missed since Boldin left, except he’s even better. Johnson has really never even played with a competent QB. So he’s a great fit, even with a down year at age 33. This is probably a pipe dream though.


Running Back (if we don’t bring back Forsett)

CJ Spiller - So so injury prone. But I don’t think depth is a problem with Taliaferro and Pierce around, so taking a flier on a high reward guy could be a risk worth taking. He’s a tremendous talent, as his 2012 numbers show. He could even fill the kick return duties left by Jacoby. The pick makes this hard to justify.

Chris Johnson - He’s a big name, but it’s been too long since his days of CJ2k. Maybe he’d be a good complement to Taliaferro, but my gut just says this is a bad idea. Pass.

Pierre Thomas - He brings a lot to the table in the passing game, which would be an asset in this offense. The Saints seem to like Forsett, so it would be fitting to just make a swap. The Ravens would obviously get the better end of the deal with our OL and a lower cap number. So I’m on board with Thomas.


Tight End

Charles Clay – A bit pricey, but would be a good fit in a system that loves its tight ends. Ultimately, I think some significant news regarding Pitta would have to happen for the Ravens to justify signing him though.

Jermaine Gresham - I was a big fan of his coming out of Oklahoma in that loaded tight end class in 2010. There was a reason he was the first one picked (okay, maybe a stretch with some of those names in that class). Shitty QB play in Cincy hasn’t helped his numbers, but it could help us get him for cheap. This probably falls in line with the Pitta scenario stated earlier though.

Ed Dickson - HA. nah. Wouldn’t be a bad thing if it didn’t cost us a pick. I like our chances to fill the TE depth issue in the draft over bringing back Dickson.

Tony Moeaki – Another 2010 class guy. Benefitted early in his career from playing in Kansas City where TE’s thrive and WR’s go to die. He’s bounced around the past couple of years though and hasn’t matched his rookie production. Can run-block well, and the Ravens are sure to run plenty. Since Seattle signed him mid-season, he won’t count against the comp pick formula, so this looks like a good fit to me.



So there you have it. Ravens fans have to temper their expectations for Tuesday. Like I said before, there’s still plenty of time for other cap casualties to emerge. That’s where we’ll win our football games.  McPhee will probably go quick. Forsett and Torrey probably won’t be on the market for too long either, for better or worse. Don’t think of it as them leaving. Think of it as us duping the rest of the NFL into thinking that free agency is the solution to all their problems. They’ll have their fun now while we have our fun in January.

By banks posted March 6th, 2015 at 3:15 PM

Barstool Is Taking Over DC With Our March Madness Watch Party At The Capitol Lounge



Capitol Lounge – 229 Pennsylvania Ave SE.


My favorite day of the entire year. March Madness Friday. Games from noon to midnight. Upsets galore. Last year we had Duke knocked out in the first round and beers were flying through the air. This year we are heading into DC for our big March Madness party at Capitol Lounge. 62 HD TVs…these things are every inch on the walls, including a huge projection screen. Full sound, lots of drink specials, and the best sports bar in Capitol Hill.

There will be giveaways, prizes, cheap beer, and of course college hoops everywhere you look. And just because we can, we will be giving the first 50 stoolies at the bar a free t-shirt. That’s right. Bankrupting Dave and watching college basketball at the same damn time.

Giving you plenty of time to plan on getting to Capitol Lounge two weeks from today. If you’re a college student, a cube monkey with PTO days, or an unemployed bum I suggest you join us. Best day of the year. Don’t do something stupid you’ll regret like go to work instead of joining the Stoolies for drunken debauchery.


By Nate posted March 6th, 2015 at 2:25 PM

Kevin Gausman, Johnny Baseball, and Dylan Bundy’s Arm Hasn’t Fallen Off – An Orioles Spring Training Update

Manny, Wieters, Jones

The first week of Spring Training is in the books. Good thing these games don’t count, because the O’s did not play their best against the Tigers, losing their first two games by a combined score of 20-6. The Birds went on to win games over the Rays and Blue Jays on Thursday, so that was a nice little treat. It’s early yet, but here are some Spring Training observations and what to watch out for as we move closer to Opening Day:

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Kevin Gausman

Hi, I’m RDT and I have a mancrush on Kevin Gausman. There, I said it. Loved him at LSU and love him in orange and black. He came out of the bullpen in the playoffs last year and showed some nasty stuff, and also had a decent year starting for the O’s in 2014 going 7-7 with a 3.57 ERA in 113.1 innings and 20 starts. Gausman looked good in his short outing on Wednesday, one inning of shut out ball. What Kevin does so well is mix up his speeds- he’ll drop a change up on you, then come back with 97 at the letters. Gausman has what it takes to be a top of the rotation guy in this league.

It will be interesting to see how the club handles him. If Ubaldo makes the rotation (please god no) many people think it will be Gausman who gets the short straw and sent to the pen. Bottom line is Buck will pick the best five pitchers for the rotation, and right now, Kevin Gausman is one of the five best pitchers. Buck, I don’t want to tell you how to do your job, but DON’T SEND GAUSMAN TO THE PEN. Quit messing with this kid’s head.

He could be the O’s best homegrown pitcher since Mike Mussina. The names of Adam Lowen, John Maine, Jim Hoey, Daniel Cabrera, Matt Riley, Garrett Olsen, Hayden Penn, and Matt Hobgood jump to mind when you think of failed Oriole pitching prospects. Don’t ruin Gausman by keeping him on a taxi squad to Norfolk, or the pen. Let the big dog eat Buck.

Johnathan Schoop

Jonathan Schoop

Schoop is another interesting guy. Up until about two weeks ago, it looked like he would be the starter at second. Then the O’s went out and signed Everth Cabrera to compete with Schoop and Ryan Flaherty. With Cabrera here, it is speculated Schoop could start the year at AAA Norfolk.

While Cabrera is an established MLB player, Schoop held his own last year. Sure Schoop only hit .209, but he also had 16 bombs. I believe Schoop could hit 25+ homers this year. I would be in favor of him starting the year in AAA if he got at bats everyday and it helped him improve his patience at the plate. Right now he is a swinger, not a hitter. At times last season it looked like he knew he was going to swing at a pitch before it was thrown. Guy is still young though, only 23, and he is HUGE. Schoop has one of the strongest infield arms, and turns the double play with J.J. Hardy better than almost anyone. He is the Orioles second baseman of the future, but he may need some time to grow down on the farm.

P.S. I’ll bet Johnny Baseball hits more home runs than Nelson Cruz this year.


Eddie Gamboa

Other Pitcher Notes

Dylan Bundy- Somewhat of the forgotten man, Bundy appeared in the game on Wednesday. Came in and had a wild pitch, and two walks, but gave up 0 runs. He also walked off the mound with his arm still attached and no pain. No news is good news for Bundy who had TJ surgery back in 2013. I also read his fastball was around 93-94. I’m not worried about the wild pitch or walks, the command will come. Great debut for Bundy.

Eddie Gamboa- Gotta love a knuckleballer. Gamboa, 30, converted to a knuckler three years ago and is trying to make the club. He’s been messing around with it in the minors- what a weapon he would be coming out of the pen. Didn’t do too well in the opener, giving up a bomb off his fastball. Buck told reporters he wants Gamboa throwing the knuckler more, and I’m right there with him. Gotta be rooting for this guy.

That’s all for this week. I know I said these games don’t count, but damn does it feel good to see this again.


Lets go Birds.


By RDT posted March 6th, 2015 at 1:45 PM

Last Minute DraftKings NBA For Tonight And It’s HUGE – $20 To Play, $100,000 For First

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Click to get rich


Woah. Last second NBA DraftKings for tonight. So they decided to mess around and make it a $400,000 prize pool with a coooool 100k for first. Not too bad. Make a few lineups, go out to the bar, pass out with pizza on your chest, and wake up rich as fuck. Not a bad Friday.


Micro Millions Main Event Details:
- $400,000 prize pool
- First place wins $100,000
- $20 to enter
- Top 4,625 scores win money guaranteed​
- Starts Friday, March 6 at 7:00 PM EST
- Salary Cap Style Drafting. $50,000 to select 9 spots. 8 players
- Roster Format: 1 PG, 1 SG, 1 SF, 1 PF, 1 C, 1 G, 1 F, 1 Utility​


Click to play


By Nate posted March 6th, 2015 at 1:02 PM

All Signs Point To Brian Orakpo Not Resigning With The Redskins…And He Said He’s Open To Signing With The Cowboys

Screen Shot 2015-03-06 at 12.08.07 PM – Brian Orakpo possesses the talent to be a top-tier pass rusher. Three pectoral injuries have punctured holes in that trajectory and could end his run with the Washington Redskins. After missing nine games in 2014 and only earning .5 a sack — following a 10-sack 2013 campaign — the 28-year-old linebacker will hit the open market for the first time in his six-year career. Visiting NFL Network’s NFL AM on Friday, Orakpo said he’d like to remain with the Redskins, but, as always, it’ll come down to dinero. “Obviously a window is still there,” he said. “Sides are still talking but it’s very minimal right now as far as, you know, it’s always numbers. Numbers have to make sense for both sides, and I understand, me coming off injury, they have to look out for themselves and also I have to look out for myself. If we can come up with something that works for both sides, who knows?” And if money weren’t part of the equation, where would he want to play? “Man, that’s a good question. I’ve never answered a question like that,” he said hesitating. “I mean, I don’t know. It would either have to be one of the Texas teams, since I’m from Texas, obviously, or I love playing for the Redskins. The media over there, the fans, it’s great man, it’s a great thing. Even if I’m done playing with the Redskins, I hope those guys can turn it around and really win for those fans and that whole market out there, because it’s great for football.” While the pass rusher spoke warmly about the Redskins organization, NBC4′s Diana Russini reported that according to sources with the team, “he will not be back.” If that report rings true, Orakpo will need to find a new home. The pass rusher wouldn’t rule out Redskins rival, the Dallas Cowboys. “I wouldn’t mind it, I wouldn’t mind it,” he said of switching allegiances. “I mean, I know it’s been a big rivalry for years, but I’m a Texas boy man, so I wouldn’t mind it.”


**Shakes off Redskins blogging rust**

Brian Orakpo is one of the good guys, but it doesn’t make much sense for him to come back unless it’s for a very low salary with lots of incentives. The guy just has not been able to stay healthy. And it sucks because when he was healthy, he showed that he could be a dominant pass rusher. But he never became the well-rounded OLB, as he still lacked desirable coverage skills. The Skins are already weak in depth on the D-Line, so losing Orakpo still hurts, despite his lack of production, especially last season where he was simply not a good football player until he shut it down halfway through the year. I’m sure some team will sign him for more than he’s worth based on the fact he’s still generally young and has untapped potential.

As for the little part about him possibly playing for the Cowboys, it is what it is. We all know the NFL is a business and if Jerry wants to overpay Rak, by all means good for him. Make that money while you can. I think we already know that no matter where Orakpo ends up, he’ll end up staying healthy for every game for the next 5 seasons and average 15 sacks a year. That’s just how it works around here.

By Nate posted March 6th, 2015 at 12:05 PM

Elle Macpherson Is Without a Doubt The Hottest 50 Year Old To Ever Live

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Just imagine how smoking she’s going to be when she’s 100, amiright? No but really, how someone can be 50 and look so good is beyond me. Sure she has all the money in the world to pay for whatever she needs, but it still is hardly fair for her body to look like she’s 22. You know when you see girls you went to high school with over Thanksgiving break and you play the game in your head called “how much weight did so-and-so gain?” Well we should all just print out this picture of 50 year old Elle Macpherson and slap every girl who gave up on life after they got a job squarely in the face with it. Be like hey bitch, you don’t have to be fat! And same goes for you sorry saps who have been so #blessed with a wife and kid and now your wife just wears ugly sweat pants all day while you work 50 hours in the cube farm with TPS reports growing out of your ass so you can pay for tap dancing lessons for your stupid kid. Just hit her with this pic and be like clean your shit up woman. Tighten it up. Step on the scale, subtract 20, and weigh that much.


By Nate posted March 6th, 2015 at 11:15 AM

I’m Pretty Bummed That This Fat Guy Ordering McDonald’s On Live TV Is Nothing But An Ad


This video has been sent to the tips email 10 times in the last 15 minutes. I hate to be the bearer of bad news but it’s fake. I’m so bummed that it’s nothing but an ad for McDonald’s. I genuinely like that fat guy ordering McDonald’s on live TV. It made me laugh. But then there’s that big ol’ McDonald’s logo just chillin in his back seat. It’s nothing but advertising. We can’t have nice things, everything has to be internet’d. They made a video with the news with the intention of it going viral. It just means we can’t trust the news anymore. This is worse than Brian Williams thing. Because at least he was in Iraq, he just made his story sound slightly cooler to get some panties dropping. This McDonald’s ad is just slapping us in the face. All it does is make me want to eat there and now I can’t out of spite.

By Nate posted March 6th, 2015 at 10:25 AM
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