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Good morning.

 

 

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By Nate posted September 16th, 2014 at 9:00 AM

Barstool DMV Smokeshow of the Day – Bonnie From JMU

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Introducing Bonnie from JMU. Gorgeous is an understatement.

Nominate smokes by sending Facebook links to DMV@Barstoolsports.com.

 
 
 

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By Nate posted September 15th, 2014 at 5:35 PM

I Love This Orioles Fan Getting a Quick Lift In While Watching The Game

 

Can’t stop won’t stop lifting. Hurricane, snow storm, baseball game, it doesn’t matter. Hardo of the year? Not even close. Just another Orioles fan doing big things. That’s how you become a first place team in the AL East and why the Red Sox and Yankees are so far down in the standings I’m actually worried they dropped out completely. It’s a team effort here in Baltimore. Chris Davis goes down, this guy is ready to come in. Next man up at all times.
 

 

PS: This video from last night’s game where Jeter went 0/4 is dope.

 

 
 
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By banks posted September 15th, 2014 at 4:45 PM

High School Chemistry Teacher And Her Husband Arrested For Making Methamphetamine and Date Rape Drugs

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Meth – A chemistry teacher in the Conroe Independent School District and her husband were arrested on drug charges Friday. Haivan Bui, 29, is charged with possession with intent to deliver or manufacture a controlled substance. She is being held on $50,000 bond. Chris Alan Hartwell, 33, is charged with one count of possession of a controlled substance, one count of aggravated possession of a controlled substance and a felon in possession of a firearm. The Montgomery County Sheriff’s Office says its special investigations unit and SWAT team executed a search warrant on the 300 block of Holly Creek Court in The Woodlands. Bui was not present at the time, but Hartwell was according to police. Authorities say they found two ounces of methamphetamine. They also discovered several ounces of gamma-hydroxybutyrate, a compound found in date-rape drugs. Marijuana, numerous prescription medications and a loaded shotgun were also found, according to investigators. The Montgomery County Sheriff’s Office special investigation unit and Conroe ISD police arrested Bui at Oak Ridge High School on Friday. Officials say Bui had recipes for date-rape drugs in a backpack she was carrying. People who live in the same apartment complex told Local 2 they saw the police cars on Friday and wondered what was going on. They were shocked to hear about the allegations. “I’m shocked,” said Curneesha Hammonds. “They didn’t look like the type of people who would do that.”

 

Look at these two. The cutest couple date-rape drug making couple your eyes have ever seen. Just two peas in a pod.

 

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I love their enthusiasm. You only get one chance at life, and you gotta make the most of it. YOLO, as the kids say. So what do you do after watching Breaking Bad? You go and live Breaking Bad. Why wouldn’t you? She’s the cook, he’s the Jesse, it’s perfect. But they took it one step further. They are the rom-com version of Breaking Bad. America’s sweethearts gone wild. They probably had the perfect, well thought out plan. Do the meth thing for a year or so and then sell their story. We all know meth stories are hot in the Hollywood streets right now. So why not just go for it? Sucks their fool proof plan was somehow spoiled, but it’s the thought that counts.

By Nate posted September 15th, 2014 at 4:00 PM

Prove That DC Is The Best Hockey City (Easy Task) And Win a Trip To Boston With EA SPORTS and NHL 15

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EA SPORTS And NHL ’15 Is Looking For The Biggest Hockey Fan In Washington

Are you the biggest hockey fan you know? Then prove it. We already know that DC is the best hockey city there is. We have the most passionate fans, loudest crowds, and most ride or die hockeyaholics on Earth. So now we’re looking for the biggest hockey maniac in the DMV. If your mancave is set up like a hockey arena, show it. If you’ve been to every Caps game since you were born, prove it. Have the Caps won a cup? Maybe not. But is the Verizon Center still packed to the brim night after night after night? Absolutely. That’s what separates us from the rest. Caps fans are there no matter what. So show what we already know and prove that DC is the hockey capital of the world and win a trip to Boston for the chance to win a new Xbox One entertainment and gaming console, NHL 15 for Xbox One, and $1,000 cash.

Use the hashtag #HockeyIsBetterInWashington on Twitter and show us what you got.

Contest rules
 

By Nate posted September 15th, 2014 at 2:50 PM

HBKerrigan With The Best Sack Celebration Of All Time

 

 

Good gawd oh mighty, HBKerrigan is taking the world by storm! The other QBs have families! Make the carnage stop!

 

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Best sack celebration of all time. And I’m not even being bias. He nails it. And just between you and me, don’t tell anyone, but Kerrigan’s arms make it move a bit.
 

By Nate posted September 15th, 2014 at 2:10 PM

HBO Might Get Rid Of Cable Companies And Become a Standalone Platform Like Netflix, And That Would Be Great

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Source - Time Warner CEO Jeff Bewkes said there is a shift in how the cable TV is sold. HBO, which is a part of the Time Warner family, is looking at moving away from satellite and cable companies to become a part of the direct-to consumer model. According to Bewkes this broadband-only option didn’t present itself until now, which is why the company never thought to consider it before. He said the option has grown significantly. While no official announcement was made, Bewkes was a bit optimistic about it, which could give cable operators some reason to worry and people who let go of pay-TV a reason to have faith.

What Would It Be Like For HBO

HBO, if it made this move from one model to the other, would find they no longer have a middleman and become a competitor to Netflix. For HBO, the news is good because of the already developed Go app. Reed Hastings, CEO of Netflix, said HBO was the only competitor on his radar. Netflix has brought its total subscriptions to 50 million, with another four million expected in the next quarter. The company also surpassed HBO in revenue for total subscriptions last month. Although Hastings talks about competing with HBO, both companies are barely doing that. Netflix is a direct-to consumer business while HBO is still selling through cable companies. Although HBO has a 114 million subscriber base, its revenue is less because it must share it with the distributors. Should HBO eliminate its middleman, it won’t have to deal with the costs. It will have an array of other problems to contend with – billing, content delivery, customer service and marketing, which is not on their plate now. The company, for a trial, has sold HBO with a thin basic cable plan that includes local channels and broadband Internet, which is found on Comcast and runs around $50 a month. If HBO has no Internet, it can’t succeed. And, once it starts getting past cable, it’s got two possible risks: It could anger its partners who get $8 a month per subscriber and use the channel to encourage people to bundle cable TV. It could have a pricing issue. If the company charges $10 a month, it would make more money per customer than currently, and angering DirecTV, Comcast and others. Should HBO makes this move, it could lead to other channels following suit, unraveling the cable/satellite bundle and giving consumers a new option in attaining programming.

 

If this happens, all I would need is the NFL to do something similar and life would be swell. It’s not that I need HBO that bad, I can get whatever I need online, the thing is the way cable companies require you to pay for all the other channels. I don’t need the 75 Lifetime/QVC/Oprah channels they make me pay for. That’s one of the things I hate so, so, so fucking much. Why haven’t cable companies evolved to let us pick what we want to watch? That’s why people torrent. That’s why people stream sports illegally and use Netflix for everything else. Because it’s so much cheaper that way. It’s so much more convenient. We aren’t in the past anymore..if you want to watch any TV show at any time online, there are ways to do it. And if you can’t find it live, you can 110% of the time find it the next day. And with how busy everyone is and how many great shows there are, hardly anyone watches anything live anymore anyway. So who would really blame HBO for cutting out the cable companies? Charge 10 dollars a month, have the ability to sell ads, and make all the profit, all the while while giving the middle finger to the bullshit cable company dickwads over at Comcast and Time Warner. I truly, truly hope it happens.
 

By Nate posted September 15th, 2014 at 1:15 PM

MFK Pay Day Monday in the DMV

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Beyonce

Jennifer Aniston

Total Number of Votes: 10576

Kaley Cuoco:

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Beyonce:

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Jennifer Aniston:

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MFK payday Monday. Three of the top earners of the year. Kaley is the second highest earning actress on TV for that terrible Big Bang Theory show. Beyonce was the highest earning singer of last year making somewhere around 3 trillion dollars. And Jennifer Aniston was the 3rd highest grossing movie actress, despite being old and annoying. You guys always seems to marry Aniston, and I never understand it. By all accounts, she’s a real life bitch and she’s not even that smoking hot anymore. I’d marry Rachel, but Aniston, can take her or leave her. Courtney Cox>Jennifer Aniston by a country mile. But is she a good fuck? Has to be. Easy MFK for me today.

Marry: Cuoco. She has fakies and brags about how they are the reason she gets jobs in Hollywood.

Fuck: Aniston. Hate fuck times a million. She’s so desperate and down for anything.

Kill: You either have to marry Beyonce or kill her. Since I’m marrying the girl with the huge boobs, that means Beyonce has to die. She’s probably cunty anyway.

By Nate posted September 15th, 2014 at 12:30 PM

There Will be a 24/7 Show Leading Up To This Year’s Winter Classic on a Channel Called Epix

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NHL - The NHL will announce later this month they have partnered with emerging premium cable provider Epix to produce and air the popular reality hockey series that precedes the annual Winter Classic outdoor game, multiple sources told ESPN.com. Not only will Epix, the cable entity that is a collaboration of heavyweight Hollywood film studios Lionsgate Entertainment, MGM and Paramount Pictures, produce four segments leading up to the Jan. 1 game at Nationals Park between the Washington Capitals and Chicago Blackhawks, they will produce another four-segment series that will lead into the Stadium Series game Feb. 21 at Levi’s Field between the San Jose Sharks and Los Angeles Kings, a source told ESPN.com. The shows will be available on cable and multiple platforms in the United States. It’s expected Rogers Communications, which owns the NHL’s national broadcast partner in Canada Sportsnet, will share the production costs and air the series in Canada. The two series will be available in the United States commercial free and, as in the past with HBO’s popular and critically acclaimed “24/7 Road To The Winter Classic series,” will provide fans an uncensored look at players, coaches and managers during the lead-up to the outdoor events. The details of the new partnership will be revealed at a Sept. 23 press briefing in Washington. The NHL parted company with HBO after three seasons of “24/7 Road To The Winter Classic,” a bold enterprise that helped expose the game to the long sought after casual hockey fan. But with HBO’s parent company Time Warner looking to reduce costs across the board, NHL officials became concerned about whether the same quality would be produced for a product that garnered 15 Emmy nominations and three Emmy awards. Enter Epix, which was exploring producing more original content as opposed to simply airing Hollywood movies. Epix was launched in October 2009. President Mark Greenberg has a long history working for HBO and producer Ross Greenburg is the former HBO senior executive who helped launch the original “24/7″ in 2011 that featured the Washington Capitals and the Pittsburgh Penguins.

 

Last week we found out HBO wasn’t continuing their 24/7 show leading up to the Winter Classic between the Caps and Blackhawks. Well today brings good news- there will be a 24/7-esque show. The only problem is it will be on a channel called Epix, a channel best known for the time 8 words ago when I said it will be on a channel called Epix. Skeptics would say it’s a big time Gary Bettman move- putting NHL programming on networks nobody has ever heard of, right up there with games on the Outdoor Living Network. But I’m not complaining- the guy who is producing it is the same guy who launched the original 24/7 on HBO, so he knows what he’s doing. And Epix has no reason to not go all out on this. Make a splash. Take it as far as possible. This needs to be the most no holds barred 24/7 ever. Put Epix on the map. I’m fired up for this.

 
 

PS: Want to take a guess if Epix is available on Comcast?

 

 

Of course not.
 

(Also, Epix is available in like 15 households in the US, so they better put this for free online. Another also, Netflix would have been the best option for this, and Epix is one of the worst if we’re talking about exposure. I’m sure the program itself will be good, just nobody will see it. But again, it can be salvaged if they put it online.)
 

By Nate posted September 15th, 2014 at 11:20 AM

Dickhead Of The Year Names His Wi-Fi Hotspot At The Airport “Bomb Location Seat 19E”, Causing The Tarmac To Be Shutdown

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KDVR - A scare for passengers on board a Southwest flight heading for Denver before they ever left the ground in Seattle on Thursday afternoon. There was a bomb threat that apparently involved that flight. Passengers say someone tried to name a wireless hot spot “Bomb Location Seat 19E.” That was enough for federal marshals to halt the flight and arrest the man. One woman says she was right behind the suspect. “I thought he was in a band because he had a guitar case, so I thought he was going for a gig in boulder or going to college.” The man was arrested without incident. But passengers waited for several hours on the tarmac as they were re-screened before being allowed to travel to Denver.

 

Let’s just lock this guy up and throw away the key. It really takes a special type of asshole to go out of their way to make an airport experience worse. The person who talks to you in line for security, the fat person (just in general), the person who brings their child onto a plane without giving them 3 doses of NyQuil first, and the person who names their Wi-Fi network “Bomb Location Seat 19E.” If fucking Mini Me can’t get through security without having his asshole tested for bombs, you can’t name your internet a bomb location.

 

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So fuck this guy. He doesn’t deserve to be part of society with the rest of us. Nobody wants to be at the airport to begin with, nevermind because you thought you are sooooo fucking clever. Oh look at me, I’m going to talk about bombs and an airport, so many lulz. No, fuck you. Have a tiny bit of awareness. It’s really not hard to just go to the airport, eat a cinobon, have an Auntie Annes pretzel, and not close down the tarmac for 3 hours. Minimum 10 year jail sentence.
 

PS: If 19E was his seat number, then death penalty. Because that means he’s literally too stupid for life.
 

By Nate posted September 15th, 2014 at 10:30 AM
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