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Barstool DMV Smokeshow of the Day – Tina From JMU

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Tina from JMU closing out the week strong.

As always, send smokeshow nominations by sending Facebook links to DMV@Barstoolsports.com
 

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By Nate posted October 30th, 2014 at 5:45 PM

Florida Guy Arrested For Weed Was Wearing a Very Appropriate Shirt At The Time Of His Arrest

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NYDN - A Florida man was appropriately dressed for his arrest Tuesday. A mug shot released by the Lee County Sheriff’s Department shows suspect Micah Dailey wearing a green T-shirt with the Monopoly board game order to “Go Directly to Jail.” Dailey, 20, of Cape Coral, was arrested at 12:20 a.m. Tuesday for possession of marijuana of no more than 20 grams and possession of drug paraphernalia, according to the sheriff’s office. He was in custody for about 7 hours before posting $6,500 bail. He has a trial date scheduled for Dec. 1.

 

Wearing a go directly to jail shirt and then getting dragged to jail has to suck. It’s almost like he was taunting the police and then got caught, and what can you do at that point? So depressing. It’s like when you’re talking about someone and they happen to be right behind you, kind of an “oh shit, you got me” situation. And you have to believe the cops at the station were hootin n hollerin about it too. Not letting this guy live it down. Hopefully he shows up to court in his “Fuck the police” shirt and gets some sort of redemption. Because right now, the cops just own him and his life. He came at them and they didn’t miss. And you better believe the fact the mugshot isn’t just of his face is 1000% on purpose. They zoomed back justtttt enough to give him a one way ticket to Humiliation city.
 

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By Nate posted October 30th, 2014 at 5:05 PM

Your Favorite Author Of All Time RL Stine Just Changed Literature Forever By Tweeting A Story

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Did R.L. Stine just change the way stories are told forever? You’re goddamn right he did. We already pretty much stopped reading books as it is- nobody has time to read. Unless you’re on the Subway or Metro and don’t have cell reception, what is there to read besides Twitter? You pick up a book and try to read when you have cell service, the only thing that will be running through your head is “what if something happens in the world and I’m reading a book and not on Twitter?” Literally my biggest fear. That I’ll be doing something like showering or napping or having an in-person conversation and then a terrorist attack will happen and I’ll be 3 minutes late to it. That’s why R.L. Stein tweeting stories is important. Plus, see how he has evolved with today’s kids? Good ol’ R.L. That’s why he’s the best.
 

 

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By Nate posted October 30th, 2014 at 4:06 PM

The Nationals (and Dodgers) Open As The 15/2 Favorites To Win the 2015 World Series

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h/t CT
 

And another baseball season is in the book. Which only means one thing, in about 2 months (or so it feels like), pitchers and catchers will be reporting for Spring Training. And Bovada is saying the Nationals are the favorites to win the World Series. No real surprise though right? The entire club is coming back besides possibly late-season addition Asdrubal Cabrera. The true question is if they pick up the $15 million option on Adam LaRoche. I think the move is to let the 34 year old walk and then try to resign him for a more team-friendly deal. He hit .237 in 2013 and .259 this last season. But his power numbers are still good, and at the end of his career, staying in DC on a hometown deal to help take this team to the promised land is hopefully the choice he makes.

Otherwise, 15/2 sounds good. The great rotation is coming back. The bulletproof bullpen will return. The young lineup is only getting better day after day. Harper is still going to smash the ball. And there is no challenge in the NL East. Sorry Braves chirp crew, ball don’t lie. All you degens, hammer it now before it’s too late. Lock and load.

 

By Nate posted October 30th, 2014 at 3:10 PM

Comedian Michael Che Is Facing Heat For Saying What Everyone Else Is Saying About The NYC Catcalling Video

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“i wanna apologize to all the women that ive harrassed with statements like “hi” or “have a nice day” or “youre beautiful”. i cant imagine what that must feel like. the closest thing I’ve experienced is maybe when a girl recognizes me from tv and they say things like “AHHHH!! OH MY GOD!! SNL SNL SNL!! TAKE A PICTURE!! TAKE A PICTURE!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!! WHATS YOUR NAME AGAIN?! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! WAIT SAY SOMETHING FUNNY!!” but even that is nothing like the harrassment of having a complete stranger tell me to “smile.”

 

 

i wanna apologize for my last apology. sometimes i forget that i belong to all of you now, and that any thought i have should be filtered through you, and receive ur approval. its tough, because im used to taking risks and finding humor in places of discomfort. but thats all over, cause i have a job on tv. and if i say the wrong thing youll see to it that its taken away. so the next time i have a silly thought, ill giggle to myself, keep my mouth shut, & post a picture with my arm around a more famous person i met somewhere.

 

How long until people realize comedians are allowed to make jokes? How long until people realize comedians’ jobs are to take a story and find an angle to make it humorous? I’m so sick of all this faux outrage. If you’ve read this site over the last couple of days, you would see he said nothing more than what has been written on these pages. That it’s a compliment to be called good looking. Now, Che then takes it a step further and compares what that lady “went through” to what he deals with on an every day basis. People running up to him, putting their arm around him, begging for a picture. Now, it’s not quite being told good morning, right? He’s not looking for sympathy- he chose to be on TV, so he has to take all that comes with it. But the point is, not every male is a pig because they say good morning to a girl with a big ass. Just because 1% of the entire 10 hours she spent walking around the bad parts of NYC where you are more likely to get catcalled she was “harassed” does not mean it’s the norm.

And finally, good for him for taking back his fake apology. He’s a fucking COMEDIAN. We’ve had this conversation 1000000 times, whenever someone makes a rape joke or abuse joke or whatever. Nobody condones that shit, but it doesn’t mean a joke can’t be funny. Here’s an example: “My dad was a big time alcoholic…but to his credit my dad never once laid a finger on either me or my mom. I don’t know if it was just because he loved us so much or if he just hated my sisters.” See how Anthony Jeselnik made a joke there? That’s all it is. A joke. He’s not promoting it or saying it’s ok. It’s a joke that people who understand funny jokes laugh at. So sick of jokes being taken out of context. And furthermore, go listen to the radio for 5 minutes. Rappers especially can say whatever the fuck they want, but the second someone makes a joke about cancer or size 6 skinny jeans, all of a sudden they are terrible people. When it comes down to it, everyone and their fake moral outrage needs to sit down and shut up.

By Nate posted October 30th, 2014 at 2:00 PM

Antoine Dodson (The “Hide Your Kids, Hide Your Wife” Guy) Is Going To Fight The Infamous Intruder On PPV

 

US - Hide yo kids! Antoine Dodson, the Internet celeb who rose to fame on YouTube after the creation of the song “Bed Intruder” following a local news interview, is set to fight the real-life intruder who invaded his home in an upcoming celebrity boxing match. (Yes, this is real life.) In case you somehow missed the viral video back in 2010, Dodson’s Lincoln Park housing project home in Huntsville, Alabama, was invaded, and during a local news interview, Dodson and his sister Kelly claimed the man (now outed as Rashaad Cooper) tried to rape her. A suitably outraged Dodson told the cameras: “Well obviously we have a rapist in Lincoln Park. He’s climbing in your windows, he’s snatching your people up, trying to rape them so you need to hide your kids, hide your wife, and hide your husband.” According to the press release, “Dodson will get to face ‘The Intruder’ on live TV and make good on his original boast, ‘We gon’ find you! We gon’ find you, Homeboy!’” The match will be broadcast on pay-per-view platform www.ETV.com on Nov. 2 at 6 p.m.

 

Ok, let’s be real real here. You kind of have to root for the intruder here. Look at it this way- Antoine Dodson got tons of fame from this. Tons of it. He was the biggest internet sensation of all time. He had the number one song on iTunes, he was on the Today Show, everything. Better believe he made a quick buck from all that, and then it appears he squandered it because now he’s doing PPV fighting on the internet. As for the intruder, what did he get from all of this? A few years in jail, it seems. He was the entire reason Dodson was able to get famous, but never shared any of the fame himself. He’s like the guy who came up with the chicken nugget. Never gets the shine. So it would only be right if the intruder won. Time for him to get paid too.

By Nate posted October 30th, 2014 at 1:05 PM

Because Miami is the Worst Sports Town Ever, The Heat Are Pumping In Canned Crowd Noise To Make It Seems Louder

 

 
Hah, classic Miami. LeBron leaves, a few people show up for the home opener and sit on their hands the entire time. So Buckhantz wasted no time calling them out on their bush league play. The canned cheering is like the laugh track on Big Bang Theory. Just because you put it after a joke, doesn’t mean it was ever a joke to begin with. When it comes down to it, Heat fans would rather text that they are at the game than actually watch the game they are at.

And just incase you forgot, they weren’t exactly the best fans when LeBron was there either.
 

 

 

Lucky for them, they can always go check out a hockey game.
 

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Or a baseball game when that rolls around again.
 

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By Nate posted October 30th, 2014 at 12:05 PM

Braden Holtby Tripped Over His Own Feet, The Red Wings Got Called For Goaltender Interference

 

It sure worked out well for the Caps (at the time, they ended up losing last night anyway). But what a hilarious call. Even I can’t spin this into making it a good call, and believe me, I’ve tried. Without a doubt one of the funniest calls you’ll ever see. The ref just assumed there was no way Holtby could have fallen on his ass on his own accord. The thing that makes it the worst blown call of the regular season is that not only did the Wings’ Glendening get called for goaltender interference, but the goal that was scored was disallowed too.

 

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You know now that I look closer, Glendening might have nudged him. Plus you can never be too sure that he doesn’t have some Harry Potter wizard shit going on. Better safe than sorry. Good call stripes.
 

By Nate posted October 30th, 2014 at 11:15 AM

Some Slovakians Say They Have Built The First Ever Flying Car, And I’ll Be Pissed If We Die Before Everyone Is Flying Around In Cars

 

WaPo - The race to deliver the world’s first flying car is officially on. Here in Vienna, a little-known Slovakian start-up has taken the wraps off of what they’ve touted as the “world’s most advanced flying car.” Unveiled Wednesday at the Pioneers Festival, an annual conference on innovation held at Vienna’s Hofburg Palace, the fully-operable prototype is about the size of a minivan. It’s certainly matured vastly from the wobbly pre-prototype version the company presented exactly a year ago. Powered by a 100-horsepower, four-cylinder Rotax engine, the Aeromobil 3.0 as a top flight speed of 100 mph and a range of up to 500 miles. Altitude is limited to 9,800 feet as going much higher would require pressurized cabins. Up until a year ago, the Transition, a well-funded concept from upstart Massachusetts firm Terrafugia was billed as the latest and greatest hope for a practical land and air vehicle. In development since 2006, early prototypes boasted a top driving speed of 70 mph and compact folding wings that allowed it to fit neatly inside a small garage. After a series of impressive test flights in 2012 and a litany of alterations to comply with regulations put forth by the FAA and highway authorities, the project has been beset with design problems. The company has since pushed the release date to 2015 at the earliest. So what’s to prevent the AeroMobil, which harbors the same sky-high hopes, from falling into regulatory and development purgatory? While Juraj Vaculík, co-founder and chief executive, is reluctant to offer up any assurance, he counts several reasons for optimism. First and foremost, he claims, the vehicle is safe to operate and is designed so that anyone with a pilot’s license can fly one, much like a sandpiper. Meanwhile, on the road, it drives like a normal car. “The technology is there, so the biggest challenge has always been meeting the standards of regulators,” Vaculík explains. “Nothing is in place to deal with something like a flying car, but we are feeling pretty good about the possibilities because the Slovakian government has been supportive of what we’re doing and are willing to work with us to make it happen.”

 

Fuck global warming, fuck equal rights, fuck healthcare, fuck everything. It’s about time our politicians got their ducks in a row and did something productive. There is absolutely no reason we don’t have flying cars yet. It’s blasphemous. We need flying cars before we die. Why? Because we were promised them decades ago. Everything from the first half of the 1900′s that predicts the future includes flying cars. So why have flying cars been pushed to the back-burner? They make all the logical sense in the world. We can’t just be driving around, sitting in traffic forever. You know what’s worse than traffic? AIDS. You know what’s worse than AIDS? Nothing. Traffic is the second worst thing, and it’s gaining rapidly. If you can buy yourself out of AIDS, you should be able to buy yourself out of traffic. We need most of our people on the ground suffering in bumper to bumper traffic in their Kias, and then us select important folk in the air, cruising around like we just don’t care. Make the women an asians still drive, let the more developed brains fly through the sky. It’s really not that complicated. It makes so little sense that we don’t have them yet. A quick Google search said the Jetsons took place in the year 2062. So that’s the year I am saying we need to have flying cars by. 2062. We can’t just keep pushing back technology and settling for less than what we deserve. Flying cars or bust.

By Nate posted October 30th, 2014 at 10:30 AM

You’re Just Being a Tough Guy Hardo If You Don’t Think The New Hunger Games Movie Looks Awesome

 

My biggest pet peeve in life is when guys think they have to act like some manly man hardo when it comes to anything. When guys can’t admit Brad Pitt is dreamy. When they can’t admit they’ll stop clicking around and watch Titanic whenever it’s on TV. So gay, right! Wrong. Brad Pitt is a fucking timeless dreamboat that all of us would be lucky enough to fuck. And if you wouldn’t fuck Brad Pitt, you are gay. And so this is for all the tough guys who are too cool for school to admit the Hunger Games is awesome. I’ll never understand it. If something is awesome, it’s awesome, no matter what. You can still like your power tools and pickup trucks (SO MANLY) and still be able to admit Hunger Games is fucking dope. Admittedly, the first movie could have been better. They tried a little too much to make it Twilight, since that was all the rage at the time. But the second movie was phenomenal. If you’re a person with two eyes and two ears, I behoove you to say the second movie didn’t blow your dick out of the water. And now the third movie, one where you realistically can watch and imagine the lead actress naked the entire time, looks awesome too. So if you need to tell yourself that to go see it, by all means, go ahead. “Yea bruhhhhh, I only saw it because Jennifer Lawrence is a FREAK.” Whatever helps you sleep at night. But just remember, you aren’t fooling anyone. The movies are the tits, and you’re missing out if you’re too up your own ass to see them.
 

By Nate posted October 30th, 2014 at 9:40 AM
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