Ovi is the man, part 100. What do you do when you’re on a 72 hour bender in Columbus Ohio? You start calling fans from Instagram and leaving them messages. You can be as cool and collected as possible, but when you get a voicemail from Ovi you tinkle your pants/have a semi for the next week.
And in case you missed it, Ovi has been having himself a hell of a weekend.
And he still really wants that car.
I still need it!! I will pick u up after all star game ))))haha pic.twitter.com/g6vBEpYi3M
— Alex Ovechkin (@ovi8) January 25, 2015
Sportsnet – While the hockey world was busy watching the sport’s best strut their stuff at the NHL’s Honda Skills Competition on Saturday, Nikita Gusev executed a jaw-dropping goal in the KHL’s version of the showcase that is sure to turn heads. The 22-year-old Russian forward, who suits up for Yugra Khanty-Mansiysk, dazzled fans with a lacrosse-style goal that might trump anything we saw in the NHL’s Breakaway Challenge last night.
Not too bad. Not too bad at all. Never get tired of seeing nice goals like that. But better than anything we saw in the NHL skills competition last night?
You go, Johnny Hockey!
Ovi Got Hammered Last Night At The All Star Game Draft, Really Wanted To Be Picked Last So He Could Win A Car
Last night was the NHL All Star Game draft where the captains pick their teams. Ovi was campaigning the entire time to be picked last because he really wanted to win the car. All was going well for him, as the captains seemingly were going to let him win the car of his dreams (a Honda Accord).
And then right when he thought he had it in the bag…
And as it turned out, the last TWO picks got a car. But hey, at least he was really, really drunk.
Doughty: Ovi had no idea that they were plotting to screw him. Kept asking "Where's Foligno?! Where's Foligno?!"
— Sean Gentille (@seangentille) January 24, 2015
The NHL is just a different type of league. Can’t imagine this much fun happening anywhere else. Ovi is just pure class.
— Strombone (@strombone1) January 24, 2015
This Fat Kid Screaming Like a Bitch Running Away From a Tiny Dog Is Your Must Watch Video To End Your Day
And I’m dead. I can watch Thurman Merman run away from that dog until the sun blows up. Augustus Gloop looking boy. It’s just so funny. Fat fuck just running all around the yard in his flip flop sandals as the dog chases him around, each equally scared of the other. Fat kids doing anything is never not funny.
What a smart pup. He figured that out way faster than I would if I were in his paws (get it, cause dogs don’t wear shoes! That’s why they pay me the big bucks). I let off a big time Tiger Woods fist pump when he did it. Kid is in doggy nirvana now, chewin on that thing til the cows come home or he has to go outside for a poop, whichever comes first.
I must say though, I can’t decide if I’m for or against the owners just filming him struggle. I spoiled the fuck out of my dog. He could easily jump into any chair, but when he was lazy he would just paw at you until you picked him up. I’d be like bro, everyone knows you can get up here, we’ve seen you do it a million times, and he’d look at me like “bitch I know your ass is gonna pick me up in 10 seconds, I’ll save my energy”. And he was 100% right.
NHLEP – According to Negreanu, who is a member of ‘The Las Vegas Founding 75,’ an advisory board tasked with promoting and gauging interest in the team, as well as front-running the current ongoing ticket drive, NHL in Las Vegas is much closer than most people think. In fact, the six-time World Series of Poker and two-time World Poker Tour champion, is almost willing to go all-in in saying that the Sin City bid will be successful. “I put it at a 92.4% chance that Las Vegas gets an NHL team,” Negreanu told the NHL Experts during an interview this week. We were initially a little taken aback by this specific percentage, but Negreanu doesn’t just spit out numbers without intricate calculation. He bases this prediction on a number of factors, which he claims are in favor of Las Vegas’ bid. “All the pieces are already in place. We have a great owner in Bill Foley. He is a blessing. He is a hockey guy. He is committed and he wants to win. A state of the art arena is already being built and should be completed in May. A successful ticket drive is the only thing left. There are over 2 million people in the Las Vegas area, we just need to sell 10,000-12,000 season tickets, and we are already on the way,” Negreanu explained.
That’s a bold, bollllld statement from Mr. Negreanu. But I think I believe it. It makes sense to me. Every since the idea came up 6 or so months ago, I’ve always been on the side that the NHL would work in Vegas. There’s always enough tourists that if they build a 14,000 person arena, drunk people will stumble in and have a great time. You’ll have your season ticket holders who are either 1) Normal people who live in the outskirts of Vegas (people forget that somehow, someway, real people live there), and 2) rich people who live in Vegas and are looking for something to do. If they market this correctly, I really do think it could be a success. Say you’re from DC and having a bachelor party– why not plan it for when the Caps are in Vegas? Games start at 7, it’s the perfect pregame spot and chance to see live hockey in the middle of the desert.
One question is do you have an advantage if you play for the Vegas team? I say no. I don’t buy the thought that opposing teams will get too Vegas’d out and play worse. I’d rather only have to fly in and play their once or twice a year as opposed to 41 home games. WAY more chances to get way too drunk and show up to a game hungover when you live there.
Chocolate milk? Strawberry milk? Nahhhh, loves that titty milk. Always love when athletes do Q&As, even better when they are honest. No cliche answers. No “I’m out there every day working to get better.” Just talking about suckin on titties. Him and Handsome Hank, the two titty milk experts.
PS: 25k fine and an apology coming in 3…2…1…
Emily Ratajkowski doesn’t always post pictures on Instagram, but when she does, she lets the other bitches know how it’s done. Just another great performance from her this week. She had a pretty good first week of December as your dick probably remembers, and she threw some pretty good heat this week as well. You go, Emily Ratajkowski.
By the way, that is a terrible place for a bath tub. Doesn’t make a whole lot of logical sense. And there’s hardly any water in it. Not great for an optimal bathing experience whatsoever.