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Barstool DMV Smokeshow of the Day – Jaclyn From Maryland

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Terp smokes doing it big as usual. Ohio State week. Time to get that big win.

NEED SMOKES! Send, send send! Send all smokeshow nominations via Facebook links to


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By Nate posted September 29th, 2014 at 5:30 PM

Steve Smith Sr With The Mic Drop At The Press Conference


Talked the talk, walked the walk, then talked the talk again. That was his entire press conference. Dropped the mic after and went on his way…

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To four square! SSS does it all. Relentless determination from 89 on the four square court. Guy’s just a competitor. Football, four square, duck duck goose, you name it. Stevonne Smith Sr is in it to win it. Seriously. See that kid’s face in the king’s corner? Happy as a muhfuckin clam like a big stupid idiot.




Little does he know Steve is coming for his lunch money. The aftermath of this four square contest was probably too graphic for the internet.



By banks posted September 29th, 2014 at 4:31 PM

Carlton Banks, The Karate Kid, and Stone Cold Steve Austin Teamed Up To Make a Commercial For Wendy’s


Great commercial. When you get three superstars under one roof to sell BBQ from a mid-tier fast-food joint, you are hitting a grand slam every time. A bit concerned Stone Cold didn’t throw a stunner and Carlton didn’t dance, but I guess when you’re serious actors like they are now you don’t go back to old habits. All I know now is I need those BBQ covered fries. Yea, I know I’ve started lifting and they might not be swole team approved, but sometimes duty calls. Also, there is literally no such thing as good BBQ from a fast food place, so I don’t expect much. But if Stone Cold Steve Austin says jump, I ask how high.

By Nate posted September 29th, 2014 at 3:30 PM

@Helga_Model Is The Instagram Hero We Need Today


So I guess that’s what it means when girls have to get ready. One of life’s many mysteries solved. Next maybe we’ll find out if girls really do have a separate pee hole or what it’s like to talk to one in real life.

I’m a big fan of this girl. I feel like a Raiders’ fan in the black hole, talking about that kind of fandom. She’s just ridiculous.

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Let us enjoy and give thanks that some people look like her and not me, and they know how to use a camera.


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By Nate posted September 29th, 2014 at 2:40 PM

Martell Webster Kicking Off Wizards Season With the Best Haircut in the World


Wizards media day is today which means the season has officially started. And Martell Webster is not messing around. All Star haircut form. He had to change something up after disappearing in the playoffs last season, and this looks like the right move. You know the old mantra- Look good, play good.

Marcin is on it too.



No word if he bought the Brazzers account though. Media day is slacking.


By Nate posted September 29th, 2014 at 1:40 PM

MFK Monday in the DMV – Three Emilys Did Great New Photoshoots

Emily DiDonato

Emily Ratajkowski

Emily Palos

Total Number of Votes: 6037

Emily DiDonato:

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Emily Ratajkowski:

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Emily Palos:

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As chance has it, three Emilys decided to take new pictures. Oh lucky us! DiDonato for some reason took pictures with clothes on, so I added a couple SI swimsuit pics to remind you of who she is. Ratajkowski is a seasoned vet at this point, but is still throwing her fastball in the triple digits. When she takes new pics, she gets in the MFK. She’s earned it, and by fuck, so have we. And then the complete opposite is newcomer, first time MFK’er, never been featured anywhere on Barstool DMV Emily Palos. Kid’s a rook, but has that potential you look for. The hose pics always are a way to get noticed.

Marry: Ratajkowski. She makes my jeans tight.

Fuck: DiDonato. Thinks she’s so sneaky taking pics not in bikinis. Not on my watch! Her eyes say it all.

Kill: New kid. Some rooks jump right into MFK and succeed, others go back to the minors. We’ll see her at her next photoshoot and see if she’s improved.

By Nate posted September 29th, 2014 at 12:45 PM

Week 4 Recap: Ravens Smoke The Panthers To Move To 3-1




Quarter of the season in the books and the Ravens are sitting firmly where I thought they would. Considering they’ve played at home 3 out of 4 weeks, they should be 3-1. Having said that, their play has exceeded my expectations. Since halftime of week 1, they’ve been nothing short of impressive, and they’re only getting better. When you fire on all cylinders like they did yesterday, you’re gonna come up with some lopsided wins. The Bengals were off this week and have done their part so far this year, but they’ll slip up sooner or later. And when they do, we’ll be there to pounce and take the division. It’s a near certainty. Here’s some more thoughts and analysis from yesterday’s game.


- The narrative of this game was always going to be about Steve Smith, and understandably so given the big game he talked after his release. And he backed up every word of it right from the first play. Caught a big first down to get the ball rolling and never looked back. The part I loved was that he played with a controlled intensity. You could tell this game meant so much to him, but he didn’t let it affect his focus. He didn’t spin the ball after catching first downs, he didn’t get too animated in jawing with the Panthers… he let his play do the talking. And play he did.


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- Bravo to the offense as a whole. No 3-and-outs, only 1 punt, and put together four 80 yard TD drives. Flacco played a nearly flawless game, kept the troops moving, and didn’t turn the ball over. He found Smith for the 2 touchdowns, but also got Torrey and Marlon and even Kamar Aiken involved a little bit. The guys are really hitting their stride as a unit, and it showed to the tune of 38 points on only 8 possessions yesterday.





- The true heroes of the offense have been the guys up front. Tremendous play from the offensive line the past 3 weeks considering Flacco hasn’t even been sacked. Lots of credit due to rookie James Hurst in his first game, and even more credit to Rick Wagner. I had all the doubts in the world in his abilities and I was dead wrong. Plus they’ve got the run blocking down to science. Forsett, Taliaferro, Pierce, it don’t matter. Ravens are running the ball right down people’s throats and it’s because of the O-line. Couldn’t ask for more out of these guys.


- Torrey Smith in the house! Wasn’t a big performance from him, but he made his presence felt. Finally got on the board with a TD and caught a couple more balls. He said in practice this week that him and Joe were real close to turning a corner in this new offense and it’s starting to show. We’re running the ball well enough for him to make some plays behind the defense, and he might’ve caught another TD if he didn’t get interfered with on his way past the corner. Great sign of things to come.





- 10/13 on 3rd down conversions. That’s phenomenal. You can’t expect that to be a sustainable ratio, but it just goes to show how well we’re running on 1st and 2nd down. Life’s a lot easier when you’re close enough to the sticks to run play-action effectively on 3rd down. Kubiak did a great job playcalling yesterday.


- Jacoby Jones, catch the football.


- My only qualm on offense yesterday was that we weren’t able to score on the last drive of the first half. We wasted all 3 of our timeouts earlier, and it came back to bite us when we started on our own 37 with 57 seconds left. On top of that, we failed to get out of bounds and took too long to get set after converting a first down into Carolina territory. Tucker doesn’t miss many, but I’m confident we have 3 more points on the board going into the locker room if we show some hustle and shorten that kick.


- Defense obviously played a good game as well. Terrell Suggs set the tone and beat his man on the first play and put a hit on Newton. Didn’t register the sack, but it set the tone for the defense all day. He and Dumervil are starting to turn a corner, combining for 2 sacks. Keep it going fellas.


- Run defense was excellent again. Held Carolina to 67 yards on 26 carries. The boys are only allowing 3.3 yards per carry on the year. Gotta like what the big fellas are doing up front. Kudos to CJ Mosley again, leading the team in tackles with 34 so far this season.


- One hiccup in the secondary, and it cost them. Can’t let a guy like Kelvin Benjamin get that wide open. Other than that, not a lot to complain about. Take out a Derek Anderson drive during garbage time and they allowed less than 175 yards through the air. They’ll be tested next week against Andrew Luck, excited to see what they’re made of.


- Always great to hear no injuries. Suggs might’ve tweaked a pre-existing groin injury, but it doesn’t sound too serious. He sat out the 4th as a precaution because the game was in hand. Just hope Lardarius Webb is ready to go next week.


Great win, loved every second of it.



By banks posted September 29th, 2014 at 11:55 AM

I Think This Russian Guy Is Kinda Into Alex Ovechkin


Hey man, you into Ovi? Why get a jersey when you can get him engrained into your skin for the rest of time? Any old joe schmo can get a jersey. Plus if you’re over the age of 21, you shouldn’t wear a jersey. I say 21 because I think it’s still ok for people in college to wear them. But never with the hoodie on under. Terrible look. We don’t talk about that enough. The grown man with the hoodie under the jersey look is horrendous. Chicks can always wear them though. Hot girl in a hockey sweater might be the hottest look on the planet. But I digress. This guy is way into Ovi. Makes Hanson lady look like a Backstreet Boys fan.

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h/t bridget

By Nate posted September 29th, 2014 at 11:10 AM

This Guy Drinking With No Hands With His Eyes Shut Is a Boss


Look ma, no hands! Look ma, no eyes! Look ma, a Jeremy Shockey jersey from 2002! All I know is you won’t catch me drinking at ATown any other way ever again. Did he get kicked out for falling asleep at the bar soon after? Maybe so. Part of the drinking like a boss life.

PS: I think even funnier to me is her getting all up in his face with the camera. Gave 110%. She can play for my kickball team any day.

By Nate posted September 29th, 2014 at 10:20 AM

Jordan Zimmermann Threw The First No Hitter In Nats History Yesterday And It Ended With An Unbelievable Catch


While everyone was watching football yesterday, Jordan Zimmermann pitched the first no-no in Nats history which ended when Steven Souza made that ridiculous diving catch. Even Zimmermann thought the no hitter was over:




But it was indeed caught, and captured on this awesome Vine:


So the Nats fucking steamroll into the playoffs healthy and the pitching is truly unhittable. The Nats not only have the best record in baseball since the All Star Break, but also their starting 5 are 13-0 with a .89 ERA in their last 13 starts. And this too:


It’s ridiculous how good this team is. And don’t forget, this team went 4-2 vs the Dodgers in the regular season, with the only two losses to Kershaw.

So now they have off til Friday when they play the wild card team. Don’t forget you can pick up your official Nationals playoffs shirt HERE

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By Nate posted September 29th, 2014 at 9:35 AM
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