A 16-year-old Summerville High School student says he was arrested Tuesday morning and suspended after writing about killing a dinosaur using a gun. Alex Stone said he and his classmates were told in class to write a few sentences about themselves, and a “status” as if it was a Facebook page. Stone said in his “status” he wrote a fictional story that involved the words “gun” and “take care of business.” “I killed my neighbor’s pet dinosaur, and, then, in the next status I said I bought the gun to take care of the business,” Stone said. Stone says his statements were taken completely out of context. “I could understand if they made him re-write it because he did have “gun” in it. But a pet dinosaur?” said Alex’s mother Karen Gray.“I mean first of all, we don’t have dinosaurs anymore. Second of all, he’s not even old enough to buy a gun.” Investigators say the teacher contacted school officials after seeing the message containing the words “gun” and “take care of business,” and police were then notified on Tuesday. Summerville police officials say Stone’s bookbag and locker were searched on Tuesday, and a gun was not found. According to Gray, Stone was suspended for the rest of the week. Gray says she is furious that the school did not contact her before her son was arrested. She says her son followed directions and completed an assignment. “If the school would have called me and told me about the paper and asked me to come down and discussed everything and, at least, get his point-of-view on the way he meant it. I never heard from the school, never. They never called me,” said Gray. Stone and his mother say they understand the sensitive nature of what he wrote, but they say it was a rash reaction to an innocent situation. “I regret it because they put it on my record, but I don’t see the harm in it,” Stone said.”I think there might have been a better way of putting it, but I think me writing like that, it shouldn’t matter unless I put it out towards a person.” According to police, when Stone was asked by school officials about the comment written on the assignment, he said it was a joke. Summerville police officials say Stone was disruptive and was told that he was being detained for disturbing schools. Stone was arrested and charged with disorderly conduct. District officials say the student has been suspended.
Maybe my favorite quote of all time “I mean first of all, we don’t have dinosaurs anymore.” It’s so matter of fact, just pointing out to school administrators that her son cannot actually shoot a dinosaur, but somehow so necessary to the argument. I imagine some people were like “oh well I’ll be darned, do we not have dinosaurs anymore? Can we double check that?” And also, how about the absurdity of the assignment to begin with. No wonder he wrote something ridiculous, the assignment was to make a Facebook status? Not even a Tweet…a Facebook status. This isn’t the ice age anymore, only old people and depressed girls make Facebook statuses now. Is the homework assignment to make a Myspace top friends list?
PS: Need an explanation on why he wanted the dino killed to begin with. I actually believe if they asked him, he’d have a reasonable reason for wanting to. His neighbor probably has a annoying small dinosaur that’s always chirping and shitting on his lawn.
I really wanted to go today without doing an ice bucket challenge blog, but then David Spade came in hot with a $100,000 donation and that will not go unnoticed by yours truly. That man can do no wrong. SNL, Tommy Boy, Joe Dirt, and I used the Men In Black blinky thing to complete erase all memories of Grown Ups and Grown Ups 2 from my mind. As I said, he can do no wrong.
Zuckerberg donated $100. Joe Dirt donated $100,000 and nominated Dr. Dre and the Tinder Guy to boot. And I just looked it up- he donated 100k to the Phoenix Police Department, 200k to Oklahoma for tornado relief, and has a daughter with a Playboy Playmate. David fucking Spade man.
Some sort of John Wall inception going on here. So deep, so moving. Zen like if you will. Last year he wrote playoffs on his shoes, and voila, he made it to the playoffs. Then he got the Great Wall of China tattooed on his back, and what do you know, he made it to the Great Wall of China. Umm John, you’re magical bro, there’s no other real explanation. Keep writing stuff down. Want to fuck Jessica Biel? Write it on your underoos. You possess the power. And if John is 2/2 on fishing his wish, I might as well have a go at it.
Lowercase e is so money I’m about to make a blog out of it.
PS: Don’t forget to pick up your John Wall shirt.
Total Number of Votes: 3505
MFK Wednesday. I went through the list of wakeups, I clicked on three of them, and here we are. Redhead, Asianhead, and Sluthead. That’s what I nicknamed them. I fuckin love Redhead. Ginger or not ginger, she’s a keeper of Tim Howard proportions. Asianhead is just a sexpot. A pot of sex. And sluthead is probably not far fetched from her real life nickname. Glancing at her on my computer I can taste the STDs.
Marry: Decker. Soul or not, she’s worth the risk.
Fuck: Sluthead. If you guys voted 10 yesterday you have to choose to fuck that wild buckaroo up there.
Kill: Asia. She’s really good looking though so it’s most unfortunate.
Source - Mike Carey, an NFL official who was named in a 2008 Sports Illustrated coach’s poll as one of the two best refs in the league, revealed Monday that he purposefully hasn’t worked a Redskins game in eight seasons. From the Washington Post: “The league respectfully honored my request not to officiate Washington,” Carey said. “It happened sometime after I refereed their playoff game in 2006, I think.” Carey, who has spent 19 seasons as an NFL referee, was the first black official to work a Super Bowl. The Redskins team name has long been an issue close to his heart. “I’ve called them Washington all my life,” said Carey “And I will continue to call them Washington.” Carey never made demands to avoid Washington’s games, and the request never made it up to Roger Goodell. But Carey made it clear to his immediate bosses that he prefferred to be somewhere else if possible. The league complied for the final eight seasons of Carey’s career, which spanned 146 games. “Human beings take social stances,” said Carey. “And if you’re respectful of all human beings, you have to decide what you’re going to do and why you’re going to do it. I know that if a team had a derogatory name for African Americans, I would help those who helped extinguish that name. … The popularity contest is not an issue. It doesn’t matter how many people don’t like it. It is disrespectful and I will not use it.”
This story is pretty interesting and there are many angles you can take here. It was pretty ballsy of Carey to tell his bosses that he thinks the Redskins name is racist and that he doesn’t want to work their games. And this was in 2006, way before the current hippity hoopla surrounding the name was even happening. I kind of do respect the NFL allowing Carey to take his moral stand, and I like that he did it quietly without making it all about himself. Some people hate things about their jobs and have to deal with it every day. He just found a way out of it. Pretty surprised they let him out of it too. What if now other NFL referees follow suit? Obviously Goodell would never stand for it. Czar Roger will have midgets in diapers ref’ing games before he gives in to anyone, we know this. But what if announcers decide to take moral stands and we have empty broadcast booths for Skins games, or even worse, Donavon McNabb doing play by play? Scary thought.
FF to :30
How embarrassing! You’re a shark! The king of the jungle if the jungle was in the ocean. You don’t let a grouper fish eat you in one bite. That’s the most shameful thing to ever happen in the animal kingdom. The shark lobbyists better start pumping out some “sharks are badass motherfuckers” propaganda real quick because that was a pathetic display from the shark, especially after shark week and all. Unless of course it was all a scheme to make us less afraid of sharks so they can attack and kill us when we least expect it. That’s some upper-level shark thinking right there.
Seeee yaaaaaaa Sea Lion! That’s more like it. The big fish coming to play. Bases loaded bottom of the ninth, I want a killer whale batting for me. That pussy sea lion was all hiding under the boat looking like little Elian Gonzalez hiding in the closet, just waiting for the inevitable (First ever Elian Gonzalez reference, put it in the books). Meanwhile, Shamu was just biding his time. And what a savage whale move to not just go in for the kill, but to play with him first. Flipping him around like Baxter getting punted off a bridge. Just an incredible cannon of a leg on that whale. Sign him up!
No, fuck you Bob Costas. You’re not allowed to take two first pitches. That’s why it’s called the FIRST pitch. It’s right there in the title of the pitch. If you fuck up the first pitch, you live with it forever. There’s no redos. No do overs. It’s actually worse to take a second first pitch than to live with your awful first pitch. 50 Cent didn’t try again. He put on his big boy pants and ate his dinner. And that’s the way first pitches work. Costas was definitely that kid during freeze tag who would be like “No I was in the force field. No tag backs. No I was tying my shoe you can’t do that”. Definitely gets bumpers when he goes bowling too.
But I do respect the Bob Costas bit of acting like he can magically make things however he wants them to be. For example, when he had double pink eye during the Winter Olympics and completely acted like he didn’t. Went on camera and infected the entire studio with his eye herpes and wouldn’t listen to anyone when they were like bro, you have double pink eye oozing out of your face. He just slapped on a pair of glasses and acted like it was all gravy baby.
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Time to pick your golfers (Rory and Rickie), flop down on the couch, and make yourself some spending money. $27 to play, $7,000 for first. That’s a lot of RBVs, you guys. A lot of RBVs.
-Fantasy PGA $40,000 Fairway Contest
-$40,000 Prize Pool, $7,000 to first place
-1680 total entries, top 340 paid out
-Pick 6 PGA Golfers from The Barclays and stay under the $50K Salary Cap to win a share of the $40,000
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Source - This is one thief who haddahava Wawa. Police in Mount Laurel, N.J., are looking for a man who they say posed as a Wawa employee in order to rob Wawa Store No. 960 on Route 73. The theft, police say, took place on August 12th. A man wearing Wawa’s summer Hoagiefest uniform — a Wawa hat, the blue Hoagiefest t-shirt and khakis — entered the store and swiped $380 worth of cigarette cartons. With New Jersey retail carton prices at around $76 for cigarettes, the thief got away with five cartons. (Man, smokes are expensive now! I bought my uncle a carton of cigarettes for Christmas one year when I was 18, and paid about $30. That was in 2001, but still.) Mt. Laurel cops also said this $380 thief had an accomplice. The second suspect acted as a lookout and stayed on the phone the entire time. Mt. Laurel police say the suspects got into a gold older-model Nissan Maxima with brown doors and fled the scene. Anyone with information has several ways to leave tips: The Mount Laurel Police Department Confidential Tip Line at 856-234-1414 Ext 1599, the Detective Bureau 856-234-1414 Ext 1526 or an email to email@example.com.
I’ve been watching a lot of Breaking Bad over the last two weeks, so I know a lot about hiding in plain sight. But also a lot about the morals and code of ethics behind breaking the law. So I am tipping my cap while simultaneously wagging my finger at this guy for his WaWa theft. Absolutely cannot hate on him for his disguise. Know your enemy. Be your enemy. Then attack. It’s the oldest trick in the war book. I believe FDR wrote it. Dress the part, wear a Hoagiefest shirt to Hoagietown, get away with murder. But at the same time, this guy did not respect the game. You need to stand for something or you’ll fall for anything. What’s next? Where does the next domino fall? Dressing up as a poor person and robbing a Burger King? Pretending to be a blogger and stealing from Taco Bell? Where will the madness end for Pete’s Sake? WaWa is sacred grounds. You might pretend to be a nun to steal from the church, but you sure as hell shouldn’t dress in Hoagiefest fest shirts to steal from the holy WaWa.
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Good morning, hope everyone brought their manners with them today!