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Barstool DMV Smokeshow of the Day – Michaela From Maryland

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Maryland week continues. All the Maryland smokes coming out strong so we can beat Ohio State on Saturday. Michaela might end up being the reason we win.

Send all the smokes you know to DMV@Barstoolsports.com.
 

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By Nate posted October 1st, 2014 at 5:30 PM

Floyd Mayweather Gets Pissed and Bickers With a Woman Who Has No Idea Who He Is

 

Floyd’s world and we’re just living in it. That’s not a cliche sentence, that’s literally what he believes. He can’t read, but he doesn’t have to. Because in his world, reading doesn’t exist. All that exists is himself and stacks of cash. And am I jealous? Absolutely. That’s the dream. To be as selfish as possible and have money solve everything. So it’s the least shocking video of all time to see him fight a woman who has no idea who he is. Because in his brain, it’s impossible to not know. Despite the fact boxing is a dying sport, he lives in America, and she’s a mid age woman from England, he fully 100% believes he is more famous than the Queen. And I love him pretending not to know who Husain Bolt is. He’s so mad she doesn’t know who he is, he pretends not to know who Bolt is.

PS: For sure the people he pays to read stuff to him lie to him all the time. Or add stuff to contracts. Yes Mr. Floyd sir, it does say right here in the fine print you owe me 10% of your future wages. I eventually see him ending up like the old women who get ripped off by door to door salesmen and end up signing away all their money.

Still the funniest video ever.

By Nate posted October 1st, 2014 at 4:02 PM

Everyone Realizes The Nationals Are The Team To Beat Right?

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Just real quick. All trolls, all homerism aside. People out there realize the Nationals are the team to beat in the NL right? Best record in the NL in the regular season despite losing 1000 games vs Atlanta at the beginning of the season. Best run differential in the NL despite losing guys like Zim and Ramos and Harper to injuries all year. Best rotation top to bottom. I know he’s not a house-hold name, but Tanner Roark is coming out of the bullpen in the postseason despite having a a 2.85 ERA in 31 starts with a 138/39 K/BB ratio in 199 innings. That’s how loaded they are. All Denard Span does is get on base on offense and make gold glove catches in the field. They’re managed well, nobody has an ego, and have crushed the competition all year. Let’s face it- if they have to face the Dodgers, it will be tough. But two things: 1) as the boss pointed out, Kershaw has never shown up in the postseason. and 2) if he does this year, he can’t pitch every game.

They will have to play either Pitt or San Fran in the NLDS. Obviously neither is a cakewalk. And in the playoffs, we know anything can happen. We watched the Royals screw everything up last night, bunt 1000 times, and somehow win the game. It’s unpredictable shit. But the Nats are set up to win this season.

PS: Look at how their pitchers closed out the season:

 

 

And Stras, who mightily struggled at times during the season:
 

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If you aren’t on their bandwagon, you’re simply un-American.

With Fireman Bryce, anything is possible.

 
BUY
 

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By Nate posted October 1st, 2014 at 3:05 PM

Steve Smith Sr Wants The Carolina Panthers To Go Mow His Lawn And I Need More Steve Smith Audio

 

 

 

Steve Smith Sr is quickly becoming one of my favorite Ravens players of all time. Not only is he massacring the opposition, but he’s scary as hell, funny as hell, and quite possibly at 35 years old already the best WR the Ravens have ever had. Maybe Boldin during that playoff run, but we’ve never had a playmaker like Mr. Smith. Dude just oozes competition. He’s just getting started too. NFL needs a weekly Mic’d up show exclusively featuring Steve Smith Sr. ASAP. They’re sitting on a gold mine…

By banks posted October 1st, 2014 at 2:00 PM

MFK Wednesday in the DMV – Porn Stars We All Love

Jessica Drake

Asa Akira

Bree Olson

Total Number of Votes: 5989

Jessica Drake:

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Asa Akira:

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Bree Olson:

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MFK Wednesday. This is how this came up:

 

 

Saw that Tweet, and an MFK was born. Grabbed Bree as the third member because she’s the quintessential porn star. The full package. And just lays around taking the exact same picture 100 times a week and looks hot every time. Jessica Drake is a legend. A real life HOFer of porn. Reminds me of Stiffler’s mom. Knows the ins and outs of fucking. Could teach Fucking 101 at any University. All the knowledge in the world. Asa is a hot Asian who is into anal and squirts. I don’t know if I need to say more.

Marry: Asa. None of them you want to marry. But she seems fun. And somewhat normal? I don’t know. Just going with it. She’s actually a good follow on Twitter too. And I hate following chicks on Twitter cause all they want is attention. So yea, I’m marrying this:
 

Fuck: Bree. Fucking love this chick. Can’t marry cause she’s not all there in the noggin, but will fuck your dick like she’s the one who is getting a favor.

Kill: Jessica. Have to put old dogs out to pasture. Or whatever it is.

By Nate posted October 1st, 2014 at 1:15 PM

WWE 2K15 As If It Was On Sega Genesis Brings Back Good Childhood Memories


h/t Uproxx
 

 

Easy enough video to enjoy no matter who you are.

This should bring back great childhood memories:
 

 
 

And this made me laugh, because of course if Sega had a wrestling game, this would be how cage matches looked.

 
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And remember when Kane was you know…awesome? And not the worst thing on TV week after week?

 

kanesega

 
 

PS: You might have noticed the wrestling coverage has ramped down a bit. It’s a combo of the product sucking recently and Monday Night Football starting again. I still try to catch up on Tuesday or Wednesday or have it on TV 2 on mute though. And I might have a guy doing weekly Tuesday morning RAW recaps if he stops being lazy. We will see.
 

By Nate posted October 1st, 2014 at 12:15 PM

Kid Blacked Out/Had a Panic Attack/Had a Stroke All At The Same Time On An Amusement Park “Slingshot” Ride

 

So he will never be the same right? That’s not normal. You can’t have a stroke in the middle of a ride and then get on with your day. His friend shouldn’t be bragging “he fainted 3 times” he should be calling an ambulance and getting that kid a CAT scan immediately. That was some weird out of body experience shit. I’m sleeping, I’m sleeping, I’m sleeping…AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…and back to sleep. Call me old fashioned if you will but having a stroke 3 times during the middle of an amusement park ride is definitely not par for the course. And if you can’t go on rides without getting severe brain damage, maybe stick to the carousel. And stay away from the tea cups. They might look innocent but talk about a barf-inducer.
 

By Nate posted October 1st, 2014 at 11:30 AM

NetFlix Continues Its Takeover, Will Start Releasing Straight-To-Netlfix Feature Films (And Theaters are PISSED)

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Film Drunk – As part of the constant quest to find innovative movie release strategies, Netflix has announced that they’ll be releasing their first feature film, a sequel to Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, to hit Netflix and IMAX theaters simultaneously. A lot of movies the size of this one (ie, sub-mainstream) have been doing VOD releases, but this is the first that will be free with a Netflix subscription. Netflix contracted with The Weinstein Company’s Harvey Weinstein to release its first major feature film, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon: The Green Legend. Sort of a sequel to the Ang Lee-directed 2000 martial arts epic that won the Best Foreign Language Film Oscar, the film will premiere exclusively on Netflix, and it will simultaneously have a berth in IMAX theaters. The release is August 28, 2015. Yuen Wo-Ping is directing a script by John Fusco, and Michelle Yeoh and Donnie Yen star. Lee is not involved in this, and the connective tissue is the source material based on the Crane-Iron Pentalogy by Wang Du Lu. [Deadline] It’s an interesting experiment, but of course one thing theater chains are never thrilled about is people experimenting with their business model, dying though it may be. Regal, Carmike, and Cinemark, three of the four largest theater chains, have all vowed not to play the film in their theaters. “While a home video release may be simultaneously performing in certain IMAX locations, at Regal we will not participate in an experiment where you can see the same product on screens varying from three stories tall to 3-inch wide on a smart phone,” said Russ Nunley. “We believe the choice for truly enjoying a magnificent movie is clear.”

 

I love blogging stories about this because I love seeing smart, innovative companies like Netflix destroy old business models (RIP Blockbuster, you were cool). Let’s just take an informal vote: What do you prefer- watching a movie from the comfort of your couch, being able to pause it whenever you want, eating whatever you want, and shitting whenever you want… or do you prefer dealing with crying babies and 10 dollar pupcorns and having your seat kicked the whole time? I vote the first choice. Going to the movies fucking blows most of the time. So of course movie theater owners are freaking out about Netflix realizing the theater industry is a dying model. Why change and adapt to the times when you can whine about it instead? The arrogance of that Ross Nunley guy is amazing. He really thinks there is a magical “movie theater experience” people are dying for. I will say every so often seeing a move on the big screen with the enhanced sound is great. But most movies just aren’t worth the hassle or the price. I hope this becomes a trend. We already have had straight to Netflix TV series succeed, would love if a major director/producer goes straight to Netflix too. Crush the current theater model into a pulp until they have to stop being cash sucking whores.

By Nate posted October 1st, 2014 at 10:30 AM

Look at This Crazy Ginger Who Was in Jail For Over a Month Because The Cop Thought Her SpaghettiOs Spoon Was Actually Meth

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NYDN – A Georgia woman was mistakenly jailed for one month after cops confused her SpaghettiOs for meth. Ashley Gabrielle Huff was first detained on July 2 after officers in Gainesville found a spoon with a dried substance baked onto it inside her car during a routine traffic stop. The 23-year-old, from Commerce, claimed it was residue from the canned pasta that she liked to eat in the vehicle. Police, however, believed it to be methamphetamine. Huff, who had no criminal history, was sent to Hall County Jail for two days so cops could conduct crime lab tests on the mysterious texture. While she was waiting for the results to come back, Huff was also ordered as part of her court arraignment to seek drug counseling. When she wasn’t able to make all of the appointments, however, she was again arrested. Unable to make the bond payment, she was put in jail from Aug. 2 until Sept. 18, reports the Gainesville Times. She was finally released Thursday after tests on the substance proved it wasn’t meth — and showed that it was in fact, as she’d claimed all along, spaghetti sauce.

 

Going to jail for a month because she was eating SpaghettiOs in the car is the most ginger thing ever. And can you really blame the cop? Come on. Lookither. He was really just doing his job. Because whether she was eating SpaghettiOs in the car or smoking meth off a spoon, she’s a menace to society either way. You can’t just eat SpaghettiOs in a moving vehicle like that. It’s uncivilized.

But really, can you fucking imagine??? No criminal record. Jailed for two days. Released and forced to go to drug counseling. WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU GO?!? If you really were only eating mushy canned pasta, can you imagine rearranging your entire life to go to drug counseling? Well the answer is you fucking better or else you’ll be locked up for over a month. August 2nd to September 18th she sat in jail. Because of pasta sauce on a spoon. Seriously, if that’s all it was, and I’m not convinced it was because mugshot don’t lie and I’ve seen my fair share and hers seems rather methy…buttttt if it truly was only dried marinara, this should be the biggest story in the world. Fuck Ebola. Fuck ISIS. GingerNation should be Ferguson’ing the streets, protesting for justice. There’s a 0% chance she would have served time if she was blonde. 0%. It’s obviously ginger discrimination. And I don’t think any of us have a problem with that. You can never ever be too safe. The first time you let a ginger who eats SpaghettiOs in the car walk free, the rest of the gingers will think it’s ok. Have to set a precedent for these soulless creatures. Good for the cop. Promote that man.

 

By Nate posted October 1st, 2014 at 9:35 AM

Wake Up With Alessia Fontanella

 

 

Have mercyyyyyy.

 

 

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By Nate posted October 1st, 2014 at 9:00 AM
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