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MFK in the DMV – The Girls of Thor

Jaimie Alexander

Natalie Portman

Kat Dennings

Total Number of Votes: 17120










You gotta marry one, fuck one, and you gotta kill one. I:

Marry: Jaimie. Under the radar smokebomb who you can tell knows how to treat your dick like a a hero.

Fuck: Kat. Those bags of sand are so unreal. Does touching one count as fucking? Cause that’s all it’d take.

Kill: Natalie. Went to Harvard and is better than me in every way. She’s so perfect she has to die.

By Nate posted October 23rd, 2013 at 12:50 PM

DMV Smokeshow of the Day – Danielle From JMU

Danielle just tearing it up and breaking hearts down in Harrisonburg.

JMU is one of the smokiest schools in the country. Send your Dukes smokes and all other smoke nominations to

By Nate posted October 22nd, 2013 at 5:30 PM

Irina Shayk Knows How To Induce a Boner

Makes my blood boil to sun-like temperatures that she is boinging a soccer player. It’s like she’s never even heard of blogging before. Whatever, her loss.



By Nate posted October 22nd, 2013 at 4:45 PM

MFK in the DMV – The Chicks of Orange is the New Black

Taryn Manning

Laura Prepon

Taylor Schilling

Total Number of Votes: 13042

Taryn Manning:



Laura Prepon:



Taylor Schilling:



This one is tricky. I want to fuck Taryn but do I want to marry her? Can I kill Donna from that 70′s show? And Taylor definitely has a secret slutty side with her minxier days ahead of her.

Mary: Taryn. She seems kinda crazy but I’ll take my chances.

Fuck: Laura. Gotta fuck Donna Pinciotti if you can, but I don’t think I can marry her voice.

Kill: Taylor. Might be a mistake because her sluttier days are yet to happen, but no regrets, she is dead now.

By Nate posted October 22nd, 2013 at 12:15 PM

Michael Phelps Would Be Certifiably Insane To Come Back and Swim in the 2016 Olympics

US swimmer Michael Phelps competes in th

Sun - Michael Phelps is keeping everyone guessing. Less than a week after Phelps told a Maine TV station that “I’m retired. I love it. It’s fun,” his coach Bob Bowman told a French news agency that the winner of the most medals in Olympic history has been getting back into the pool at North Baltimore Aquatic Club. “I’ve said nothing about a comeback,” Phelps told Bill Green of WCSH in Maine in a story that aired last Tuesday. “I have said nothing about a comeback. It’s everybody else opening their mouths and saying comments that they think I’m going to do or think that I said. I’ve never said anything publicly.” But when his coach tells AFP and other news organizations that Phelps has been getting back into the pool, one has to wonder. It makes sense that he’s swimming to stay in shape since that’s what he’s done all of his life, but is there a bigger goal in mind, like Rio in 2016?

Michael, my friend, why in the fucking world would you want to return to swimming? You got out! You escaped the 10,000 calories a day, shaving your legs, hanging out with butch chick swimmers life, and moved on to playing high stakes poker and banging every 10 under the sun. Are you really that bored of the best life a lanky, slightly stuttering, possibly autistic guy can get? You’ve out-kicked your coverage of life in every conceivable way. You beat the best of the best for 100 gold medals, and you did it while high as a kite. You put your dick in this.


and this.


and this.


and this.


The only explanation for returning to training 100 hours a week and eating 30 pieces of french toast a day is if his dick falls off if he doesn’t. That’s about it. Sharks have to swim to survive, Phelps has to swim to fuck chicks in Las Vegas hotel rooms.

By Nate posted October 22nd, 2013 at 10:20 AM

DMV Smokeshow of the Day – Melissa From UMD

Melissa from Maryland is a certified smokeshow hall of famer.

I need more smoke submissions. Send facebook links of the hottest girls you know to


By Nate posted October 21st, 2013 at 5:30 PM

Woman Jiggles Her Ass To Classical Music, Just How Beethoven Would Have Wanted

The bowtie is a nice touch. Pays proper respect to Beethoven.

By Nate posted October 21st, 2013 at 5:00 PM

Jenna Jameson’s Cum Stained Mansion Was Foreclosed On


TMZ - Jenna Jameson has lost her home to foreclosure, TMZ has learned. The Hollywood Hills mansion — which Jenna purchased in 2006 for $2.7 million — hit the auction block earlier this month … and was sold off for $1.85 million. According to official docs, Jenna’s bank notified her in February that she had defaulted on her mortgage payments to the tune of $56,918. Jenna subsequently listed the home for $1.899 million but failed to find a buyer. Her bank then obtained a final judgment against her in June for the full amount of her mortgage … $2,027,816. Jenna never paid, so the home was foreclosed on and sold at auction.

There’s no chance I could live in the house Jenna Jameson used to live in. Just knowing what happened in each room, how much of Tito Ortiz’s jizz is all over the walls and ceilings and in the little nooks and crannies you can’t reach. Like, you know when you move your bed out and find that shirt you haven’t seen in a couple months? Imagine what you would find in her house. No thank you. You could get a baker’s dozen maids in there to scrub it top to bottom with the acid Walt used to dissolve bodies and I still would feel like I’m laying on stickiness. It reminds me of two different people I know who have bought their childhood home from their parents and now sleep in the master bedroom. How do they sleep at night knowing their parents used to fuck on the exact spot they are laying? They have to be 100% lying if they said they have never thought about that while banging their girlfriends. On the plus side, that’s a great way to last longer. Just picture your parents.

PS: Old Jenna vs in the middle Jenna vs current Jenna. It’s like we already know what Miley will look like in a few years.




By Nate posted October 21st, 2013 at 3:10 PM

MFK in the DMV – Maxim Cover Girls

Ronda Rousey

Christina Aguilera

Lacey Chabert

Total Number of Votes: 12831

Today in the DMV, we are MFK’ing the last three chicks to be on the cover of Maxim.

Ronda Rousey – Smokey MMA fighter with a body that doesn’t quit.



Christina Aguilera – Currently chubby but formerly crazy hot singer.

A big mac from looking like this:

But used to look like this:


Lacey Chabert – Gretchen Wieners.



Mary: Chabert. Seems like she’s the type who will make you a sandwich while wearing her little santa outfit.

Fuck: Aguilera. Those inner tube pictures ruined more tissues of mine than a cold ever will. Even if she’s a chubber now, I’ll take my chances she still fucks like she’s 17.

Kill: Rousey. I’m throwing a hail mary on fucking Christina, hoping she fucks like old hot Christina, so the only problem is I have to kill Rousey before she can kill me.

Edit: apparently Chabert and JLH are two different people. so i guess i get to marry both of them. everything coming up nateviews!

By Nate posted October 21st, 2013 at 12:50 PM

I’m Looking For A Ravens Blogger


I got a lot of questions yesterday about why I was blogging the Ravens and the Redskins. The answer is because both teams play in Maryland, and it’s about a 45 minute drive parking lot to parking lot from FedEx Field to M&T Bank Stadium. So both teams need to be covered.

Seeing as I’m a Skins guy, I need a Ravens blogger. If you want to be the Ravens blogger, either send me your blog where you have written about the Ravens, or make a blog and write about the Ravens, and send me that. And not in a fucking notepad note. Seriously, I can’t believe some of you guys are attaching a notepad note to an email. Wasn’t notepad only in windows 95? Are you guys also still playing that skiing game where the snowman eats you at the end? Show a little effort and write it as if you were writing for barstool and send me a link to a blog.

The majority of the emails I got yesterday went like this: “Sup Nate. Huge ravens fan. Let me know if i can blog for u.” That’s not the best way to get a response. Show me you can put a coherent thought together about a football team that wears purple.

So if you are up to the task, send me an email to

And now, Ravens cheerleaders in bikinis.

By Nate posted October 21st, 2013 at 11:20 AM
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