My favorite day of the entire year. March Madness Friday. Games from noon to midnight. Upsets galore. Last year we had Duke knocked out in the first round and beers were flying through the air. This year we are heading into DC for our big March Madness party at Capitol Lounge. 62 HD TVs…these things are every inch on the walls, including a huge projection screen. Full sound, lots of drink specials, and the best sports bar in Capitol Hill.
There will be giveaways, prizes, cheap beer, and of course college hoops everywhere you look. And just because we can, we will be giving the first 50 stoolies at the bar a free t-shirt. That’s right. Bankrupting Dave and watching college basketball at the same damn time.
Giving you plenty of time to plan on getting to Capitol Lounge two weeks from today. If you’re a college student, a cube monkey with PTO days, or an unemployed bum I suggest you join us. Best day of the year. Don’t do something stupid you’ll regret like go to work instead of joining the Stoolies for drunken debauchery.
To be honest I have no idea if those coconuts are ripe or not. So I lied. But her name is Lily and she is here from Russia. She likes unicorns, flowers, long walks on the beach, and taking pictures to post onto Instagram.
KFAN – Jordan Leopold is Minnesota born and bred. Apparently his family has stayed in his home state while he continues to trot around the NHL. After being traded by the St. Louis Blues to the Columbus Blue Jackets earlier this year, Leopold was on his seventh NHL team. Now he will be on his eighth NHL club, and this time it will be the one closest to home. Leopold was dealt to the Minnesota Wild ahead of Monday’s trade deadline for a draft pick and Justin Falk. It was a deal that somewhat came out of the blue, but it turns out that Leopold had one of his agents working on this one for a while. According to Minnesota radio station KFAN, Leopold’s 11-year-old daughter Jordyn wrote a letter to the Wild organization asking that they please trade for her dad to bring him home. It is heart-warming and heart-breaking all at once.
This letter is going viral quickly and that’s fair. It’s adorable as fuck. I might’ve shed a tear or two. But there’s really three takeaways I have from this letter:
1. How about the Wild doing a favor for a girl who flat out ROASTED them for being a sack of losers? Just spit directly in their eye. If I’m them I might flip Leopold to fucking Edmonton just to spite her.
2. How miserable is the state of Ohio? I didn’t see her writing any letters to St. Louis when he was playing there at the beginning of the year. You just know Poppa Leopold couldn’t even keep himself from bitching about that god awful place when he was on the horn with his little girl. She had no choice but to write this letter.
3. How fucking psychotic is it to basically name your daughter after yourself? That’s so fucking twisted. There should be rules about that kind of thing. I’m not implying anything but perhaps a visit from child protective services should be in order. Just for the sake of due diligence…
Seen this 100 times on Facebook in the last hour. I can’t comprehend it. Half the people on the Earth think this dress is white and gold. Half think it’s blue and black. It’s like when you’re high and talk to your friends about if we see colors the same way they see colors. Is my green your orange? Well I see this dress as 100% white and gold, 0.00000% blue and black. But people are screaming that it is a blue and black dress. I don’t know how.
What do you see. 1 for gold and white, 10 for blue and black.
(2,045 votes, average: 3.89 out of 10) Loading ...
Fortune -How does the world’s top investor, at 84 years old, wake up every day and face the world with boundless energy? “I’m one quarter Coca-Cola,” Warren Buffett says. When he told me this in a phone call yesterday (we were talking about the death of his friend, former Coca-Cola president Don Keough), I assumed he was talking about his stock portfolio. No, Buffett explained, “If I eat 2700 calories a day, a quarter of that is Coca-Cola. I drink at least five 12-ounce servings. I do it everyday.” When he’s at his desk at Berkshire Hathaway headquarters in Omaha, he drinks regular Coke; at home, he treats himself to Cherry Coke. “I’ll have one at breakfast,” he explains, noting that he loves to drink Coke with potato sticks. What brand of potato sticks? “I have a can right here,” he says. “U-T-Z”. Investors in Berkshire Hathaway may feel relieved that the CEO isn’t addicted to Utz Potato Stix at every breakfast. “This morning, I had a bowl of chocolate chip ice cream,” Buffett says. Asked to explain the high-sugar, high-salt diet that has somehow enabled him to remain seemingly healthy, Buffett replies: “I checked the actuarial tables, and the lowest death rate is among six-year-olds. So I decided to eat like a six-year-old.” The octogenarian adds, “It’s the safest course I can take.”
HAH! In your face everyone who makes fun of me for eating nonstop fast food. In your stupid faces! Because if you know anything about how logic works, Warren Buffett eating like a 6 year old means I’m going to be extremely rich extremely soon. Is it a coincidence that I have recently opened an IRA and it’s up 2% this year? NOPE. Natey Buffett coming in hot! What should I name my boat? Just kidding, make that plural- boats. My fleet. And it all makes sense now— that time I ate Taco Bell breakfast every day for a week I legit got sick for about a month straight after that. I assume that was just my body adjusting to the wealthy life. Every change you make takes time to get used to. Like when you start going to the gym and your body aches every morning and your shit schedule is all out of whack. Same thing for eating every meal at the Bell. That sickness was just my evolution into being a billionaire.
And now I’ve come across this girl on Instagram and her name is Rhiannon Langley and she is in contention for the title of the Queen Of The Tan Lines.
Can’t quite crown her because there’s not enough pictures, but she’s making a strong, stronnnnnng case for it. As a man of the people, I will be monitoring this situation with a close eye and report on any developments.
A must-watch for any dog owner, dog lover, or person with a soul. I loved this. Just watching Winston eat made my day. I would definitely watch 90 minutes of Winston’s hijincks and tomfoolery. And my favorite part is the bad guy is vegetables and the woman who makes Winston and the man eat them. We all have a friend who meets a girl and she dramatically changes his lifestyle. I have a friend doing a Paleo diet right now. He can’t eat anything— I mean he does and just doesn’t tell her, but still. What a relationship! That’s reason 1008 dogs are better than people. They won’t make you eat anything with leaves on then. In fact, they frown upon it. I especially loved this on a personal level because my dog who is no longer with us wouldn’t eat unless we put something in his bowl. And he wouldn’t eat unless someone else was eating. If we fed him when nobody was eating, he would eat some of it, but he’d save half for when other people were eating because he wanted to eat with us (and he knew I would always put people food in his bowl.) He was the best.
2nd edition of the Saturday Sports Corner here. I’m up and at em in the cube, while most of you are struggling to put together the pieces of your Friday night. I can’t help you find your phone or the moneys from your wallet, but I can help you catch up on what you missed while you were out. Scores, highlights, and all the funny shit from the Friday night you never had. I tried to cut down on the GIF’s and replace them with more video this time around. Let’s fire it up!
Lot of action in the Association last night. If you were locked in to ESPN like I was, you watched my Wizards get absolutely bundled by the Cavs before the Steph Curry show started.
The Wiz losing by 38 at home makes a lot more sense when you realize the Cavs brought the fucking DUNK SHOW to Washington
And the Cavs just flat out-hustled the opposition and played heads-up basketball
So yeah, losing by 38 at home makes tons of sense. I don’t really know what the Wizards were supposed to do. Sometimes the opposition’s just en fuego.
Steph Curry continued to be Steph Curry against the Spurs, just buckets on buckets on buckets
Even tossed in a BTB dime for a splash
There were 12 other games too, here are all your scores:
Cavaliers 127, Wizards 89
Pelicans 84, Magic 95,
Pacers 106, 76ers 95
Raptors 105, Hawks 80
Bulls 91, Pistons 100
Heat 111, Knicks 87
Suns 109, T-Wolves 111
Nuggets 81, Mavericks 89
Blazers 76, Jazz 92
Celtics 101, Kings 109
Spurs 99, Warriors 110
Nets 114, Lakers 105
Boogie Cousins was the performer of the night pouring in 31 with 15 boards, including this coast-to-coast rim rocker
Wiggins is back with the poster of the night
Adrien Payne’s rejection turned into a circus bucket on the other end
Plenty of hockey action to go around with 7 games last night. Scores:
Maple Leafs 1, Hurricanes 2
Canucks 2, Devils 4
Rangers 3, Sabres 1
Bruins 1, Blues 5
Avalanche 4, Blackhawks 1
Wild 4, Oilers 0
Ducks 6, Flames 3
Justin Fontaine scored himself a G with a pretty little deflection
He thought he was going to have seconds, but Ben Scrivens had other ideas
Scrivens also has no patience for fair weather fans, and neither does this guy.
Oilers jersey thrown on ice tonight. Scrivens threw it back. Guy who threw it reportedly got beer dumped on his face pic.twitter.com/jC2ezq2vsE
Malcom Subban bombed in his debut for the B’s and was pulled after allowing 3 goals on 6 shot attempts. Tuukka was none too pleased that his night off got ruined
I have zero clue how Kris Versteeg chipped his tooth here but the refs somehow weren’t buying what he was selling either
MY FUCKING TOOTH IS GONE
And Corey Crawford was the goat of the night with this gaffe
This week takes us to the Los Angeles area for the Northern Trust Open at Riviera Country Club. The difference between Riviera and Pebble Beach last week has been night and day. Birdies have been much fewer and far between. Last week Brandt Snedeker won (as I predicted, nbd) with an absurd 22-under 265. Not to mention the cut came in at a healthy -6 (albeit after 3 rounds). This week’s scores have been much higher, and the cut was made at +3. Old man Retief Goosen leads the way at -6, but there’s a good crowd right on his heels. 21-year old rookie Justin Thomas is a name you should get to know sooner rather than later, and I wouldn’t be shocked if he pulls this thing out. Hard to pick against defending champion Bubba Watson, though. He crushed the weekend last year with a pair of 64′s, and I think he can do it again. Bubba’s my pick.
Goosen sank this 30 footer to card a 70 and take the lead into Saturday.
Shark Tank Recap (spoilers, so if you haven’t watched it yet, skip to T &A at the end)
First off I just want to say Shark Tank is the cream of the crop of Friday night television and it’s not even close. I’d go as far as to say it’s the best reality show on TV too. It’s appointment television. There’s something to be said about a show where Mark Cuban isn’t even the one who steals it on a weekly basis. That honor goes to Mr. Wonderful, Kevin O’Leary. Dude kills it week in and week out by just being the stingiest, savviest, most manipulative motherfucker in the Tank.
Last night’s episode was an all-timer. It was basically a bunch of college assholes who thought their ideas were going to save the world. We had some sort of flashlight bag powered by solar energy, which Cuban snatched up with last-second offer. We had backpacks made with fabrics from 3rd world countries, which got shot down fairly quickly. I’m confident that one only made the show because the chick was a decent 7.
And we had some sort of ventilation system that garnered some heavy bidding and Robert scooped up for $750k for 14%. Quality stuff with all 3 pitches at that point, as is typical. But the showstopper was this cat who built a 99 cent app with a database of unclaimed scholarships.
First off, great idea and a solid pitch. He says he’s personally received $1.3 million in scholarships (which is just silly) and mentioned that $100 million in scholarships go unclaimed every year. Right from the get go, Cuban was ready to jump out of his chair. But this moron’s asking price was only $40k for 15% of the company. So Lori immediately offered that deal, Daymond jumped in with her, and they pressured the kid into taking it before the others could even get a question in. Kid had no poise, no composure whatsoever. The sharks were eating right out of his hand. Probably could’ve gotten $100k for 15% if he wanted to. He was oblivious walking in with that asking price and even more oblivious when he walked out pleased with himself. Gave that same “oh I’m so happy to team up with a shark” bullshit that they all give. Helllloooooooooo??? Anyone home Mcfly?!? Cuban’s the internet guy. He’s the app developer. He was the one dying to hear more about how the company would work moving forward. Maaaaybe you take that shitty deal with him, but not Lori and Daymond. Come on guy.
The other sharks were fucking furious with Lori and Daymond. I swear Cuban’s head was going to explode into a million pieces right there on the set. Robert was kind of being a pussy with his “woe is me, I never wanted handouts” attitude, but he’s absolutely right that they swindled the kid. But it’s nobody’s fault but the kid’s. It was clear as day the other sharks wanted in, and they could’ve offered that same deal and they didn’t. So even though Lori was a real bitch and was full of shit with her high-horsed charity nonsense, she was 100% right that it was just sour grapes from the others. Full pitch and the aftermath here.
Alright here’s your T&A for the week. Take us home Nina!