EA SPORTS and NHL 15 Are Still Looking For The Biggest Hockey Fan In Washington!
We already know DC is home to the best hockey fans on Earth. That’s a given. So now your job, if you choose to accept it, is to prove you’re the biggest hockey fan in the DMV. If you are always rocking the red, cheering the loudest, and as passionate as the day is long, use the hashtag #HockeyIsBetterInWashington and prove it. Sure other cities have Cups, but we don’t need Cups to be great fans. We show up regardless of time, place, or weather. Winning or losing. Simply put, we have more heart than all the other cities combined.
So hit up Twitter with the hashtag #HockeyIsBetterInWashington and win an all expense paid trip to Boston for a chance to win a new Xbox One and $1,000 cash. (Send to @BarstoolNate, got that old Twitter back finally.)
Full rules and details
PUKEEEEEEE. 0/10. No, you’re right. 0/100. Ugliest jersey in the league. No, you’re right again. Ugliest jersey in professional sports. I just threw up all over my MacBook Pro (and it still looks better than that jersey).
Last night, Bryce Harper died for a minute, and then re-emerged as Fireman Bryce. Fireman Bryce gives no fucks. And you might be thinking “well, Bryce Harper didn’t give a fuck either.” Exactly. That’s who the rest of the NL is dealing with now. Fireman Bryce is here to hit home runs and put out fires, and I don’t see any more fires.
BUY BUY BUY!
BUY BUY BUY!
There are tons and tons of Orioles fans blowing up my email box every 10 minutes begging for a playoffs shirt. So we delivered. Not because we wanted to, but because our hand was forced. You demanded an Orioles shirt, and you got the best Orioles shirt ever made. Bohstool Sports, we did it again!
BUY BUY BUY!
DE – LAST NIGHT, RAPPER Waka Flocka Flame announced to his Instagram followers that he was hiring a ‘blunt roller’. The salary? A cool $50,000 a year. He invited prospective candidates to apply via the hashtag #icanroll.
Some people want to grow up to be firefighters. Some people, teachers. Some people peddlers of smut. And for some, blunt rollers.
It’s just so beautiful. The American Dream actualized. Don’t let anyone tell you what you can or cannot do. Follow you dreams. Ain’t no mountain too high, ain’t no valley too low. Don’t just say you want it, go out and fucking want it. So if you want to be a full time blunt roller for a grown man who calls himself Waka Flocka Flame, by god go out and do it! USA! USA! USA!
PS: Similarly, if you think you can make good MFKs every day and not be a lazy piece of shit about it, I won’t pay you anything but the job is available.
Hand bra game on point! I wish she had smaller hands though. That would be mutually beneficial to her and I.
I’m also a big fan of her nub bra game.
Nub bra game HOFer. Easy.
And to think you guys killed her in an MFK?
Might as well redeem her while we’re here.
You guys really killed her. Man. Don’t ever say I play MFK wrong.
Yahoo - HBO said on Thursday that it won’t produce “24/7: The Road To The NHL Winter Classic” for the 2015 outdoor game featuring the Washington Capitals and the Chicago Blackhawks. This ends a three-season partnership between the League and the cable network, which produced the four-episode series that brought viewers deeper inside their teams and players’ lives than anything previously attempted by the NHL. “Everybody at HBO enjoyed working with the NHL and its teams on ‘24/7’ the past four years. It was an exciting endeavor and we’re very proud of the never-before-seen presentation of the world of hockey that ‘24/7’ was able to capture,” said Ray Stallone, a spokesman for HBO. “There was never an expectation that HBO would chronicle the lead-up to the Winter Classic every year. So we will not be involved with the NHL this season. We wish the NHL the very best and the door will always remain open.” There are few television innovations the NHL has been involved with that rival the game-changing impact of “24/7.” It was the first time the character of the players, the intensity of the game and the orchestral vulgarity of the sport were married in the same program. The first edition in 2011 featured the Washington Capitals and Pittsburgh Penguins, catapulting then-Caps coach Bruce Bourdreau to stardom with his profanity-laced tirades (and BBQ-sauce covered face). The New York Rangers and Philadelphia Flyers followed in 2012, showcasing the unique brand of whimsy from goaltender and part-time cosmonaut Ilya Bryzgalov. The third edition of the show in 2014, featuring the Toronto Maple Leafs and Detroit Red Wings, was considered a drop in quality – although that probably had more to do with the subjects involved than cracks in the format.
This is a true bummer. HBO’s 24/7 is amazing television. Mic’d up players, cameras in locker rooms, seeing injuries get stitched, players’ emotions, the Caps winning, everything. It’s like Hard Knocks but with people you actually have heard of doing shit you actually care about.
I would guess HBO not renewing it has a lot to do with last year’s 24/7 when the coaches decided they didn’t want the cameras in the locker room. It took a lot away from the show, as you didn’t get a lot of content that has otherwise always been unattainable for basic fans. Not having Ovi mic’d up is a real disappointment, but I guess they didn’t want the Blackhawks to be straight up embarrassed and emasculated by the Caps on national television for a few weeks. Lucky Blackhawks.
Let me tell you a tale. Sara Underwood at one time was the 1 seed. The top of the mountain. The Kentucky. The Alabama. The Maryland field hockey if you will. And then she went down with elbow discomfort, and had to get Tommy John surgery. Posted 9 Instagram pics total in the month of August, and only 1 of them was a hot picture of her. And then BOOM! Out of nowhere, she’s posted 11 pictures so far in September, and 7 of them are her being hot! Is she back!? As you can see in the 3 above pics, it’s not old school 100 MPH heat like you’ll see below, but it looks like she’s definitely doing bullpen sessions. Definitely doing some simulated games. Might she be ready for the postseason? Will she be the World Series MVP? I guess we’ll wait and see. But I like what I’m seeing from her. Hopefully she returns to form.
FB - We all knew they were inevitable, but we are a bit surprised they took so long. Immediately following squashed rumors of a new pumpkin spice-flavored condom from Durex, Oreo has officially unveiled some very real packages of Pumpkin Spice-flavored sandwich cookies. Like most special Oreo flavors, these guys come on the brand’s golden vanilla cookies, this time filled with a deep orange, actually kind of pretty-looking, pumpkin spice creme. According to TIME, the treats taste “like fall,” “like a Yankee Candle,” or like “chai lattes” — or pretty much exactly like other pumpkin spice flavored thing out there. At some point you gotta wonder whether pumpkin fans even eat anything else during fall, or if it’s just cinnamon and nutmeg breath all the time. In any case, whee, here’s another pumpkin thing, available starting September 24.
Live look in at basic bitches everywhere:
It was only a matter of time before Oreo decided they wanted to make an extra billion dollars and made a pumpkin spice cookie. Props to them. They know how this country works: If it has the words pumpkin spice in it, basic bitches will buy it. And for good reason- pumpkin flavored things for the most part are delicious. I’m not the kind of person to poo-poo something because it’s popular or stereotyped a certain way. If I like something, I’ll own up to it and say I like it. So let’s all get in the trust tree and admit it: Pumpkin is a delicious flavor. If you think that makes me basic, so be it. And most importantly, pumpkin beers are phenomenal. If you’re new to the pumpkin beer game do yourself a favor and steer clear of the big brewery versions, and instead buy the more pricey but 100x more delicious micro brewery pumpkin ales. I will be trying these cookies, and I expect great things from them.
WaPo - Maryland’s helmets will feature an outline of the star-shaped Fort McHenry and an image of the flag that flew through the night during the Battle of Baltimore. According to the school release, the 15-star and 15-stripe flag is the only flag in American history in which the blue field is touching a red stripe. The uniforms highlight this detail with red and blue stripes on the helmet, shoulders, pant legs and socks. Maryland captains will wear red belts as American military captains did during the Battle of Baltimore, and players’ names will be replaced by the word “TRIUMPH” on the back of their jerseys. The team’s base layers will include the phrase “Conquer We Must,” which was included in Key’s “Defence of Fort McHenry,” but left out of “The Star-Spangled Banner.”
Fire in the hole! Oh my, Oh my! Another year, another scorching hot uniform. All jokes aside, these are the hottest jerseys in the history of the game. It literally moved when I saw them. Maryland, National Anthem, American, beating WVU on Saturday. Everything will be great. Kings of the Big 10 do it again.