Seriously, what the fuck? Why are people jumping over the White House fence all of a sudden? I’m surprised there isn’t a sniper on the roof 24/7 ready to snipe these dumb fucks heads off who are stupid enough to do this shit. Can we start doing that, starting with this guy? Have him try to kick that dog again. Double dare him. But this time they blow his brains to Bolivia. Stop jumping over the fence, asshole maniacs.
Tragic day in Ottawa, and amazing job by the Penguins honoring Cpl. Nathan Cirillo, the wounded, and the city of Ottawa tonight.
Smokeshow Haili from JMU ending the Wednesday the right way.
I’m running low on smokes. Need your help. If you know of a smoke, send their Facebook links to DMV@Barstoolsports.com. We never say who nominated them.
Sun - A high-ranking Baltimore Police commander who the agency said had stepped down for “personal reasons” in April was charged Wednesday with theft for allegedly falsifying information to obtain a salary increase. Prosecutors said Lt. Cliff McWhite, who was approaching the end of his 19th year on the force when he resigned, was charged through a criminal information with theft following a joint investigation by the State’s Attorney’s Office and Baltimore Police. McWhite is alleged to have “falsified information in order to obtain an increase in his salary in 2008 and 2009,” prosecutors said. They did not elaborate. Records show McWhite was paid $100,017 in fiscal year 2013, from a base salary of $98,000. Reached for comment, a Baltimore Police spokesman said McWhite was a “former employee” and that “we don’t have anything to say about that.”
This story caught my eye because it’s outrageous to think anyone in the world doesn’t lie on their resume. We all do it, and employers know it. What are you going to do, not exaggerate? I’m the least organized person in the world, but if you don’t think I have a bullet point on my resume that says something about “works well and stays organized in high pressure situations”, you’re kidding yourself. Everyone spews that BS. So what if you are just an intern who gets coffee, did you happen to sit at a computer that had access to the company Twitter account? Yes? Well there you go- “managed the company Twitter account with over 50,000 followers”. It’s not lying, it’s just merely stretching the truth. This guy was on the police force for 19 years and they are charging him with theft because they didn’t investigate his resume a little deeper? That’s on them, not him. It’s not like it impacted his work, by all accounts he was the GOAT at his job. Just got a few extra dollars for doing it. And if we’re being real real, that’s the kind of guy I want working for me anyway. Willing to take chances. Put his nuts on the line for the big pay day.
I’m gasping for air over here! Every so often, a girl on Instagram comes along that is so far ahead of the others. Any slut can take a selfie, but this Jessi Marie girl has done changed the game. Her hand placements, the way she gets every important part of her body in one picture while still abiding by Instagram’s ridiculous rules, it’s truly inspirational. Perfect camera angles. She should be teaching upper level courses on this. If she was being drafted, she’s an 80 on the 20-80 scouting scale. A 5 tool player. If she asked you to eat her butt you’d do it in front of your grandmother on top of your grandfather’s grave.
DC News FOX 5 DC WTTG
Fox - An Arizona man says the iPhone 6 is literally the hottest smartphone on the market. Phillip Lechter says his new device caught fire in his pocket. It burned through his jeans and boxers. Apple replaced the phone for him but Lechter says he wants the company to address the problem.
Awww boo hoo, the wittle phone burned your leg. Wahhhhh, my iPhone lit on fire and my leg fell off, wahhhhh. Grow up Count Chocula. Pro tip: Don’t buy an iPhone if you don’t want to deal with your leg catching on fire. Everyone who is anyone knows the iPhone is bound to fuck up your life at some point. Between the mysterious cloud thing full of your dick and tit pics, group messages that don’t stop buzzing even though you literally could not care less about the topic at hand, sending horrendous drunk texts so you never talk to your dream girl ever again, or your leg looking like you just fell into a pit of molten lava, that’s the trade-off of having an iPhone. And I love this guy going to the press and thinking something will come out of it. If you watched that 20 second news clip, all they did was make fun of him the whole time. No sympathy for his leg resembling Leatherface. It goes without saying, but buy a Razr if you want your leg to stay in tact. Idiot.
Maryland - Lonely Planet has announced its top travel cities in the world for 2015, and Washington, D.C. stands at the top of the list just a few weeks after the city was named America’s “coolest city.” Locations including Milan, Italy and Vienna, Austria are behind D.C. which holds the No. 1 spot. Sporting events, historical commemorative events, dining venues, hip neighborhoods, and a thriving social scene are all highlighted as reasons for D.C.’s top-of-the-world ranking.
Well this was inevitable. Everything coming up DC recently (sports don’t count, duh). Coolest city. No doubt. Most expensive/richest city. Well obviously. Fittest city. Swole don’t sleep. And now, named the top city to travel to in the entire world. Think about that. Out of the millions, maybe even thousands of places you can visit across the globe, the biggest travel guide named DC the place you should travel. Mind blown? Not here. This city has everything. The babes. The history. Bao Bao. What else do you need? Brunch for the bitches. Terrible football for the bros. Why would you ever go to Milan or some tropical island? You need a passport and they speak all sorts of weird languages. Not to go to DC though. Sorry, every other city in the world. DC owns you. Most important city in the world doing most important city in the world things.
Ovi did an interview with Sportsnet.ca and it’s hilarious start to finish. Probably trolling half the time, but impossible to tell. He’s just a goofy, funny guy. Even known Ovechkin hater Chief had a chuckle and admitted Ovi is good for the game.
Talking about his music video:
“I don’t have that kind of money”. A+. Just lives in a modest 1 bedroom place. Definitely true.
Just a great interview. And so far this season has 5 goals in 5 games. Not too shabby. Playing lights out hockey on both sides of the ice. The team as a whole is playing great. Holtby has a .932 save %, they are getting production from all 4 lines, and the defense besides one terrible, miserable game from Brooks Orpik has been pretty consistent. Seems they have really responded well to coach Trotz. Love what I’m seeing from them. And PS: put your money in now for Burakovsky for Calder. 19 year old kid is plain filthy out there. Caps kick off the 3 game West coast Canadian roady tonight in Edmonton. Starts at 9:30. Should be a good one.
PS: Never gets old.
DFP - William Powell’s trip to England was short and not so sweet. Powell, a practice-squad running back, was waived by the Detroit Lions this morning, one day after he traveled to London with the team for Sunday’s game against the Atlanta Falcons at Wembley Stadium (9:30 a.m., Fox). It’s not quite the New England Patriots cutting receiver Tiquan Underwood the day before the Super Bowl, but the Lions cut Powell to make room on the practice squad for safety Jerome Couplin, who was waived Monday so that the Lions could sign tight end Kellen Davis. ”It’s a difficult thing to do, and you certainly would not want to do it — a guy just gets here and, within 48 hours, he’s heading back home,” Lions coach Jim Caldwell said. “But that’s kind of the nature of our business. The guys understand it, and I think, if you’re up front and you tell them exactly why and what the reasons are and those kinds of things, it’s a bitter pill to swallow, but they understand.” Because the roster move was made today, Powell, who was on his way to the airport this morning, will get paid for the week. ”The reason why (we made a move while in London) is because the fact that just, in terms of practice, we need to be really at our best, in terms of making certain that we get a look on both sides,” Caldwell said. “And in case anything happens, we need to be positioned to be able to adjust properly according to what our injury status is at different positions.”
Congrats to William Powell. Nobody wants to play in that London game. It’s all foggy and damp and you have a bunch of hooligans yelling god knows what the whole time. No thanks. First plane back to the USA please. Or better yet, the guy is already in Europe. Go to Barcelona dude. Go to Ibiza. Delay going back to Detroit for as long as possible. He’s getting paid, so he might as well hop on an EasyJet and have a great vacation. Pull a KFC where you fall off the Earth and people are joking about you not coming back but it’s not really a joke at all. And really, Reggie Bush is so due for a season-ending injury, it’s only a matter of time before they call him back in anyway.
PS: Reminds me of John-Michael Liles, AKA the dude who had to leave the ice during the Winter Classic warmups because he was traded to Carolina.
TBL - San Francisco 7, Kansas City 1 was devoid of drama, never close, and as a result, TV viewers didn’t tune in or stick around. Early reports are that the overnight TV rating for Game 1 was the lowest in World Series history: An 8.0. An overnight TV rating isn’t complete, obviously, so that number could go up (or down). The lowest overnight rating for a Game 1 previously was an 8.8 in 2012 when the Giants met the Tigers. It’s obviously very early, but without a team from the East Coast, and no major must-see stars in the World Series, this rating trend could continue tonight and into the weekend. Fox executives will no-doubt be clad in royal blue tonight, rooting for Kansas City to make it a series. The overnight rating for the 2014 NFL draft? Thanks to Johnny Manziel, a 6.8. Overnight rating for Game 1 of the NBA Finals? Thanks to LeBron’s cramp, a 10.4.
Pretty unshocking news, but still pretty interesting. Last night’s game was the lowest rated World Series game in history. Makes me happy as a clam to see Bud Selig fail. Selig has been dead-set on ruining the game, and his hard work is really paying off. Making MLB highlights unavailable on YouTube, success! Not implementing ways for the games not to drag on 20% longer than games 15 years ago, success! Making it so an exhibition game determined home field advantage in the World Series. That still is the craziest thing in all of sports. A game where Derek Jeter and his .256 average started and was grooved a fastball determines what league gets home field in the World Series. Kinda important, considering mlb - “Twenty-three of the last 28 World Series have been won by teams with home-field advantage, with the exceptions being the 2008 Phillies, ’06 Cardinals, ’03 Marlins, 1999 Yankees and ’92 Blue Jays.” So great success, Selig, you old piece of shitpie. Nobody watches baseball anymore. And the proof is in the ratings. You non emailing elitist asshole.