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Three Awesome Super Mario Videos Taking You Into the Weekend

 
I’m mostly impressed by how much Toad looks like George. They nailed it.
 

Screen Shot 2014-02-28 at 5.07.06 PM
 
 


 

When I watched it I said it is the most impossible thing a human has ever accomplished. Not wanting to be Interneted again, I read a little more and it’s very likely fake. But still impressively fake. Not even mad. I really enjoyed watching it.
 
 

Apparently that thing isn’t even an instrument anymore or something. Girl beasts it. Coin sounds and all. 10.
 

Thanks for hanging out this week. Can’t do this shit without each and every one of you. Have a great weekend. Oh and add me on Twitter or something.

By Nate posted February 28th, 2014 at 5:20 PM

The Georgetown University Baseball Team Has Raised $24,000 For Children With Cancer, Let’s Help Them Reach Their Goal of $30,000

georgetown

Nate,

My name is Matt Hollenbeck, and I am a long time reader of the stool. Over the years, I’ve seen the generosity of the stoolies, and I’m looking for their help once again.

I’m a member of the Georgetown University Baseball team, and this year we are trying to do something special both on/off the field, and could use your help.

Following our April 5th home game against Xavier, we will be shaving our heads in solidarity with the children across the world dealing with the worst hand possible, childhood cancer. We are looking to raise funds for St. Baldrick’s Foundation, which is a foundation that has raised $34 million alone in 2013. At Georgetown, we realize how lucky we are to not only attend a great university, but to play a sport we all love. Its about time that we gave back to those who have been dealt the worst situation imaginable.

 

LINK TO DONATE

 

I love these Georgetown guys. I’ve sent a few emails back and forth, and they are nothing short of genuine. They absolutely realize how lucky they are, and have already raised a great deal of money to fight childhood cancer. And not only are they raising money, they are shaving their heads. Great school, great guys, great cause.

If this blog helps raise even 1 dollar, I think we did good here. If it raises $1,000, that’d be great. We all joke around on Barstool (sometimes by accident) but if there’s one thing everyone agrees on, it’s that cancer is the fucking worst.

Cancer sucks.

Cancer-Sucks

 

 

PS: If the comment section could save their o so funny comments for somewhere else, that’d be great.

By Nate posted February 28th, 2014 at 4:10 PM

There’s Only One Way To Cure An Olympic Hangover, And That’s To Ride Dirty With a Badass Biker Gang

putin

 

Yahoo — A group of Russian bikers called the Night Wolves that regularly rides with President Vladimir Putin is heading to Ukraine to back pro-Russian protests, its leader said Friday. Putin has ridden a Harley-Davidson with the bikers and called them his “brothers”. He is said to be close to its long-haired leader, Alexander Zaldostanov, nicknamed “the Surgeon”. The patriotic group opposes Ukraine’s European integration and the protest movement that has taken power in Kiev. Its website says its members are “ready to die like warriors”. “Tomorrow people are organising an action called Russian Spring,” Zaldostanov told the RIA Novosti news agency, saying the event would start from the town of Popasnaya in eastern Ukraine. The bikers’ leader said members also planned to deliver “humanitarian aid” to Sevastopol on four-wheeler bikes. Putin has several times appeared at bike rallies with Zaldostanov, a towering figure who wears studded leather and ties his long hair back in a pony tail.

 

There’s getting back on the horse, and then there’s this. Putin just picking up the pieces from an Olympic hockey beatdown like it ain’t no thing. Riding with the baddest dudes in Russia. Trying to reassert his dominance like Sochi 2014 never happened. Thing is, you just know ol’ Vladdy looks up to to The Surgeon. Posters of him on his bedroom wall and everything. You don’t go into an organization who says they’re “ready to die like warriors” and usurp power from a guy named “The Surgeon”. That’s factual information, look it up. Guy definitely puts Putin in a headlock and gives him noogies til he yells uncle. So nice try, Putin, but you’re not slipping this one past me. You’re playing second fiddle to the Surgeon now.

By banks posted February 28th, 2014 at 3:15 PM

90′s Music Deathmatch Throwdown Extravaganza Palooza – Week 6: It’s Wedding Season!

deatmatchmusic (1)
 

This is week 6 of fantastic 90′s music. And what great matchups we’ve seen.

It all started off squaring Iris vs Kiss From a Rose, and we’ve seen great fight after great fight since.
 

Week 1 Semi-Charmed Life beat Blink 182′s Dammit
Week 2 Hey Jealousy edged out One Headlight
Week 3 Kill My Sunshine dominated LFO’s Summer Girls
Week 4 Wonderwall laid the beat down on DMB’s Crush on Valentine’s Day
And last week rap beat rock when Juicy beat Smells Like Teen Spirit
 
 
Today I’m blogging from a wedding, so we’ll get real romantic up in here.
 


 

vs
 


 

Pretty impossible decision IYAM. Love me some Savage Garden, but love me some slow jams and could listen to the smooth stylings of K-Ci & JoJo forever.

Vote 1 for Truly, Madly, Deeply, 10 for All My Life

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star6 Star7 Star8 Star9 Star10 Star (318 votes, average: 7.24 out of 10)
Loading ... Loading ...
 
 
Bonus wedding song/song to get every girl in a 10 mile radius dripping wet:

By Nate posted February 28th, 2014 at 2:18 PM

One of the Leading BitCoin Exchanges Folds, Losing $450 Million Dollars Worth of Internet Money

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LAT – Bitcoin exchange Mt. Gox announced Friday that it has filed for bankruptcy protection, admitting that it had lost 850,000 bitcoins. “There was some weakness in the system, and the bitcoins have disappeared. I apologize for causing trouble,” said Mt. Gox Chief Executive Mark Karpeles at a news conference in Tokyo, the Wall Street Journal reported. The company said it lost 750,000 bitcoins belonging to customers, and an additional 100,000 of its own bitcoins. Those bitcoins today would be worth more than $450 million. Mt. Gox also said it has debts of about $63.6 million. The bankruptcy filing comes at the end of a tumultuous week for Mt. Gox and the bitcoin community, which saw the credibility of the virtual currency take a big hit. On Monday, Mt. Gox, once the largest bitcoin exchange, appeared to shut down after pausing bitcoin withdrawals earlier in the month. What at first seemed to a be glitch turned out to be much worse as the company discovered that somehow hackers had been stealing bitcoins from its system for years. Bitcoin prices on the Coindesk Index were down $16.55 to $560.53 on Friday morning as investors absorbed the latest news.

 
Let me tell you one thing, NateBux investors. When you invest in my fake internet currency, you are safe. You will absolutely never have to worry about me losing $450 million dollars of your money. Because I admit once you give it to me, it becomes my money. It turns straight into Fireball shots. But you invest in NateBux so you can tell people you have NateBux..which is exactly why people still have Bitcoins at this point. Has to be. So they can be hoity toity about everything and drop Bitcoin into every other conversation. “Oh, if only I could pay for this in Bitcoin”. Shaddup. Pay with green dollars like the rest of us in civilization. I was all aboard the Bitcoin train at first. I even set up a wallet for it. But it was the most impossible thing to do, then I realized I wasn’t going to pay 500+ real dollars for one Mario coin. Kinda sucks it was this John Rando that went busto and not the Winkelvi, but hopefully that’s inevitable. Would love to see them go from

Smb_coin-heaven

 

to

 

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By Nate posted February 28th, 2014 at 1:15 PM

MFK Friday in the DMV – Ashton Kutcher’s Bitches

Mila Kunis

Victoria Moore

January Jones

Total Number of Votes: 13834

Mila Kunis:

mila2

mila3

mila1

Victoria Moore:

v7 (1)

v6 (1)

v1 (1)

January Jones:

jj3

jj2

jj1

Kutcher is getting hitched to Mila so we’re MFK’ing his relationships. And right off the bat, you might see Victoria Moore is not Demi Moore. That’s cause Demi is old and Victoria is a 10. So I put her in there to make your dick harder, and the game too. I really don’t know where to begin. Mila is one of the hottest girls you’ll ever see. Minxy voice, smokey eyes, dirty, dirty little girl that you can still bring home to the parents. Victoria is a UK model who loves showing herself to whoever will look. An easy fuck right? But then January Jones. A top 5 rack. TV money like you read about. Home grown American. So if you choose to M and F Mila/Victoria, you have to kill January. If you kill January, you are crazy. But if you kill Victoria, is it worth it to not fuck her? So many scenarios going around my mind right now.

Marry: Victoria. Sometimes, you just want to marry a big tit brit and not have to worry about living life in the spotlight. Is that so much to ask?

Fuck: January. Bury my face in them and don’t come up til I’m gasping for breath.

Kill: Mila. She’s marrying Ashton Kutcher and previously banged Kevin McCallister. Something’s off with her. Would be a good fuck, but I’d rather punish her and Ashton.

By Nate posted February 28th, 2014 at 12:15 PM

Remember the Hot Convict? She’s Now Suing a Website For Using Her Hotness

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NBC - A 28-year-old mother of four has filed a lawsuit against a background check website, saying the company used her attractive arrest booking photo for commercial and advertising purposes, without compensating her or even getting her permission. Meagan Simmons of Zephyrhills filed the lawsuit in Hillsborough County Court against InstantCheckmate.com. In her lawsuit, she says all the exposure has disturbed her peace of mind, invaded her privacy and caused her mental anguish. The suit seeks monetary damages and an injunction to prevent further use of her picture. The Tampa Bay Times reports that Simmons’ image popped up on countless websites where she was branded “a hot convict.” The photo was taken during a 2010 DUI charge.

Is it safe to say this is the only 28 year old mother of four convict who can absolutely positively get it? Almost forgot about this broad, but now she’s back and suing the pants off of some site for “disturbing her peace of mind”? Get out of here with that, you hot convict you. I get suing because she’s poor and has a small army of kids running and the god damn food stamps don’t buy diapers, so why won’t she embrace her hotness? Here’s a little marketing 101. A free lesson. She needs to brand herself the hot convict. Porn companies will be calling until her phone blows up mission impossible style. They were calling that ugly broad who popped 100 babies out of her cooter like it was a tshirt cannon, for sure this actual hot convict bitch can make a movie or two. It’s not rocket surgery. Hot convicts don’t come around every other day. This is your calling. Take it. Embrace it. Be it.

By Nate posted February 28th, 2014 at 11:20 AM

Jeff Gordon Pranks Some Guy Who Previously Called Him Out For A Fake Prank

I legitimately dislike NASCAR. It’s so boring 95% of the time. I’ve tried several times to give it a shot. I’ll be like this is it, this is the time I’ll sit down and watch a race. And then 10 minutes into it I’m bored to tears. Hand shaking, wanting nothing more than to change the channel and watch anything else in the world. Would rather accidentally on purpose do another google image search of cow fucking than have to sit through an entire race. So I came into watching this video expecting to hate it. Racing, corny viral videos, and Jeff Gordon. Three things that I usually hate the fuck out of. A trifecta of burning hatred. Then this video slapped me upside the head and I have to admit to that I enjoyed it. I don’t know what that means for me. I can’t figure out if the video is actually good or if the next time I turn on Big Bang Theory if I’ll laugh at that too. I’m worried.

PS: I’m not convinced this isn’t fake too. Too many cameras. Guy’s reaction doesn’t seem 100% genuine. Maybe he figured it out halfway through? Maybe he succumbed to the pussy life? Just enjoy the car ride for what it is, a cardio workout, and buck up.

By Nate posted February 28th, 2014 at 10:20 AM

Asshole in Utah Drops His Backpack With a Gun in it, Making it Fire Off in a Chipotle

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Utah - A scary moment inside a Sandy restaurant when a man paying for his food drops a bag and a gun goes off. It happened just before 1:30 Wednesday afternoon at the Chipotle near 104th South State Street. Sandy Police say the man removed his backpack to pay for his meal and accidentally dropped it. When the bag hit the floor, the handgun he had inside accidentally discharged. A woman who was eating lunch with her family just a few feet away spoke to ABC 4 Utah about what she saw, “We we’re all just eating lunch. I was there with my family and suddenly there was a loud bank and everybody stopped and froze because it was obvious that it was louder than a balloon or dishes crashing…A gun went off.” Luckily the bullet hit the floor and lodged into the concrete. “What’s scary about it is the gun hit the floor and went off,” said the woman. “But had the gun hit another way could have shot anyone in the restaurant, my family included.” The man with the gun reportedly picked up the backpack and the shell casing, got his lunch and then waited outside for police. Sandy Police Sgt. Jon Arnold said, “The individual is a conceal carry permit holder. He had the gun legally and lawfully.” Sgt. Arnold says because it was an accident, and because no one was hurt, the man was not cited. “This wasn’t due to him actually handling the gun when it discharged those are things when you at it in terms of criminal negligent, criminal recklessness in terms of how he was handling the gun,” explained Sgt. Arnold. While it was an accident the mother we spoke with says the man was negligent and should face some kind of consequence, but police say despite the fact the man was carrying a loaded gun with a bullet in the chamber and likely the safety off it’s not against the law. “He legally has a right to carry his gun that way,” said Sgt. Arnold. Police say it is extremely uncommon for a gun to fire if it’s dropped. Sgt. Arnold guesses it must have landed right on the barrel for the firing pin to discharge and fire the bullet.

Look, I’m not here to discuss the 2nd amendment or any of that shit. But what I am here to say is your 2nd amendment right should cease to exist if you fuck up my Chipotle eating experience. I don’t care if it’s written in the constitution with Thomas Jefferson’s blood that you are allowed to carry a gun- the moment it goes off when I’m demolishing my burrito you lose every right you ever thought you had. Your ass goes right to Gitmo, no questions asked. Carry a gun if you want, I don’t give any fucks. But keep that shit on lock. Have a little responsibility bro. I’m at Chipotle for fucks sake, it’s pretty much like entering a house of worship, can ya have a little bit of respect? Don’t bring a loaded gun that can fire off all willy nilly into my church, is that too much to ask? It’s pretty much an unwritten rule of life, if a bullet whizzes by my feet when I have guac oozing out of every orifice, you’re finished. Kaput. Done.

By Nate posted February 28th, 2014 at 9:35 AM

DMV Local Smokeshow of the Day- Alexis From Ashburn

 

Alexis from Ashburn who you know tears up the south at USC. A 24 hour smokeshow in Columbia. No days off.

 

Been getting lots of great Smokeshow nominations recently. Keep up the great work everyone. Send the Facebook links to DMV@barstoolsports.com.

And great news for everyone at USC and down south, the Blackout Tour is coming to Myrtle.

myrtle

You can buy your tickets here to what will be sure to be an insane night.

By Nate posted February 27th, 2014 at 5:35 PM
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