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The Aftermath of Yesterday



Offensive coordinator, Kyle Shanahan
Special team coordinator, Keith Burns
Quarterback coach, Matt LaFleur
Linebackers coach, Bob Slowik
Wide receivers coach, Mike McDaniel
Advance scout, Larry Coyer
Offensive quality control coach, Richmond Flowers
Defensive assistant, Bobby Slowik

So that was as expected. Kyle had to go with daddy, Keith Burns churned out the historically WOAT special teams, Matt LaFleur didn’t improve RG3, Slowick couldn’t get his linebackers to make tackles, etc. That’s 8 coaches fired, plus Mike Shanahan makes 9. Dumpster fire city.


Not Fired:

Jim Haslett, Defensive Coordinator
Jacob Burney, Defensive Line Coach
Sean McVay, Tight Ends Coach
Raheem Morris, Secondary Coach




Jim Haslett not being fired is just about the biggest head scratcher ever. He is not a good defensive coordinator. He doesn’t make adjustments, can’t get his guys to make tackles, and is historically, just based on numbers alone, awful.

2010 Redskins – 21st points / 31st yards
2011 Redskins – 21st points / 13th yards
2012 Redskins – 22nd points / 28th yards
2013 Redskins – 30th points / 18th yards

Is that good? Well okay, maybe it’s just he hasn’t had the players to play with in DC, right? Let’s go back to his days in St. Louis.

2006 Rams – 28th points / 23rd yards
2007 Rams – 31st points / 21st yards
2008 Rams – 31st points / 28nd yards

This is the guy who is still coaching the Redskins defense. It’s unreal. Like, I feel maybe I’m being greedy by wanting him fired after myself and every other Redskins fan fished their wish and saw the Shannys and Burns fired, but why keep Haslett? What does he bring to this team? Why not completely start over? It’s like they took out the garbage, but left the bag of dog shit at the bottom. It’s still going to stink until that bag gets tossed.

From what I’ve heard, the only guy not fired that was really worth not firing was the tight ends coach Sean McVay. Apparently he is a brilliant offensive mind and could, and should, be seeing a promotion.

Keeping Morris doesn’t bother me as much as it bothers others. I’m not sold on him being promoted to coach the defense, but I think he’s fine where he is. He was given a bad secondary to work with and finished 20th in the league against the pass with a bad defensive coordinator. I’d like to see what else he can do in DC, just not as a head coach or defensive coordinator quite yet, especially after what he did to Tampa.

And one last point. The reason this team is destined to fail. Dan Snyder refuses to hire a real GM. Bruce Allen now has more control now that Shanny is gone. It’s Vinny Cerrato, part 2. Allen is now the official GM, player personnel guy, everything. Him, Scott Campbell, and Morocco Brown are still sitting pretty in their front office jobs, with Snyder pulling their puppet strings. Three last place finishes in the NFC East in the last four years. Four winning records since 1999. And no changes will be made up top. Fascinating stuff.

So the interview process begins for the next guy to take this job. Snyder of course will want the biggest name for the biggest contract. Redskins fans don’t want that. We’ve done that. Gibbs part 2, the ol’ ball coach, and Shanny. None worked. That’s why most Skins fans don’t want Cowher. He’s a TV guy now. He has the money. He has the rings. He won’t have the drive or fire to be the great coach he once was. Same for Gruden. Somehow just need to trust this team will hire the best and right coach for this job, not whoever can grab them the most headlines. But not a Zorn either. Maybe the 9th time (in 15 years of owning the team) is the charm!

By Nate posted December 31st, 2013 at 2:25 PM

PSA: Don’t Be An Asshole Tonight


Two things not to do tonight:

1) Be that cynical asshole who sits at home and claims New Years Eve isn’t awesome. Because it is. It’s a ton of fun. People who would rather stay home and try to act like they are better than you should be launched to Neptune. So get drunk and fingerbang some girl you went to high school and have a grand ol time.

2) Drive after you drink your 8-15 miller lites. Don’t be a clown when you can call a free cab or sleep on the Metro or do literally anything else. Or end up paying 15k in lawyer fees/never be allowed to drive again/kill someone. Up to you really, but I’d say just don’t be an asshole.

By Nate posted December 31st, 2013 at 11:45 AM

DC Metro 2013 Compilation Video of Blackout Drunk People Falling on Their Faces

Happy new year! Great video of people eating shit at DC Metro stations. I love that they saved up these videos and released them as a sort of end of the year video compilation series. They get how we operate. Nobody wants to watch one episode of anything at a time. It’s all about marathoning them on Netflix. DC Metro peeps releasing this end of the year compilation for our entertainment and acting like it’s some sort of advisory is perfect. Give me 6 people falling on their faces, skulls, or into the tracks to send me into 2014 with a good laugh.

By Nate posted December 30th, 2013 at 3:25 PM

2013 Baltimore Ravens Season Recap

ravens season recap

While the end was disappointing, I can’t sit here and say I expected a whole lot out of this year’s Ravens. The season was a roller-coaster ride full of games they choked away, and games they stole in the last second. All in all it probably evened out at 8-8. They beat plenty of mediocre teams, and hardly any good teams. Joe Flacco said it best yesterday in the post-game locker room when he said “We don’t deserve to be in the playoffs”.

Now I could sit here all day and talk about games they should’ve won. They simply had no business losing to the Browns and the Bills, and the Steelers and Bears games were very winnable at the end. But that’s all in the past, and there’s nothing we can do about it. All we can do about it is learn from it,  figure out what went wrong, and what needs to get fixed. So here’s what went wrong with the 2013 Ravens:

Problem No. 1: The Offensive Line

This issue was head and shoulders above the rest in my opinion. I’m convinced that the poor performance of this O-line poisoned the entire offense all season. Eugene Monroe was a good addition early in the year at LT, and Marshal Yanda was excellent at RG, but the rest of the line was abysmal. I think we all knew Matt Birk was an awesome center and even better leader, but I’m really not sure we understood just how important he was. Gino Gradkowski just wasn’t up to snuff as a replacement. AQ Shipley is undersized at LG, and may be better cut out for the center position. And Michael Oher has gotten worse as the years have gone on. Every Sunday you get the same infuriating factoid from CBS when he inevitably false starts about how he leads the league in penalties since 2009. His contract is up and it’s time for him to go.

Their switch from a man blocking scheme to a zone blocking scheme was baffling, and completely killed the run game. Players like Oher and Shipley had trouble adjusting all year, and constantly missed assignments. Ray Rice took a beating early in the year because of it, and never really got over the hip injury he suffered in week 2. Their inability to run the football hampered the play action game, which was a major strong point in Joe Flacco’s deep ball success in 2012. Not to mention that Flacco took the 2nd most sacks in the league, and by far the most in his career. Flacco hasn’t missed a game in his career, but this O-line’s poor pass protection took its toll on him. I’m not sure how much more of a beating he could’ve taken before being knocked out for good.

Problem No. 2: Receiver Corp

The biggest issue going into this season was the absence of Anquan Boldin. And I’d say the results were mixed at best. Torrey Smith is a competent wideout that brings a lot to the table. I think the term #1 receiver is interpreted a lot of different ways, but I don’t think he fits most definitions. And that’s what this team missed. A go-to guy who they could count on to get open, or even make a play when he couldn’t get open. Marlon Brown was a dangerous red zone threat in his own right, but he’s not a polished enough receiver to fit the bill of WR1. Dennis Pitta was okay when he came back from injury, but opposing defenses were able to take him away at the LOS. And Jacoby Jones is great for vertical routes, and little else offensively. If there was one off-season move I disagreed with, it was not paying Boldin and dumping him for a 7th rounder.

Problem No. 3: Flacco and Rice

Both of these two battled injuries all year, but this is football, who doesn’t? It was hard to believe that Rice was 26 years old all season. He rarely looked like the same player. He’d get brought down by tackles he’d usually slip, and he never seemed to fall forward. I’d chalk up his 3.1 YPC to his O-line as much as him personally, but he seemed to have lost a step too. Although Bernard Pierce didn’t fare any better, he at least looked like he had a bit more of a hop in his step. Should be interesting to see how this situation pans out moving forward.

Joe Flacco didn’t get much help around him, but he certainly deserves his share of the blame. Many point to his contract as a serious restriction to the talent around him, but that really isn’t the case as much as you’d think. Regardless, he showed up on less Sundays than he did. Threw more picks than TD’s. It’s been said ad nauseum that a great QB makes the players around you better. That’s hardly been the case with Joe. In my opinion, Joe is exactly what we thought he was before 2012. An above average QB with a knack for winning more games than he loses. Nothing more, nothing less. He’s not going to come out and throw for 350 yds and 4 scores every Sunday. You can depend on him to make plays in crunch time and win you close football games, but he’s not going to carry an offense singlehandedly. The sooner Ravens fans come to terms with that, the less frustrating some of these losses are going to be.

Problem No. 4: Youth

This shortcoming wasn’t really a question, but a certainty coming into this season. Guys like Jimmy Smith, Matt Elam, Marlon Brown, and Gino Gradkowski were asked to step into roles formerly held by established veterans. Some of these characters filled their roles better than others. On one hand, Smith shut down some great receivers late in the year, and Brown lead the team in TD receptions. On the other hand, Elam got toasted deep a few too many times, and Gradkowski was a disaster. Either way, the youth helped dig the Ravens a hole that not even a 4 game winning streak could get them out of.

I’m not sure exactly what it says about a football team when the local media elect the kicker as team MVP. But I can’t imagine it’s a good thing. When it comes down to it, Justin Tucker’s job is to make kicks, and he did his job better than anyone else on this football team. But I guarantee you if he wins it again next year, I’m going to be writing the same rant as I am right now. It’s time for Ozzie Newsome to do what he does best. Self-evaluate, fill some holes, and make a brilliant choice with the #16 overall pick (or #17, depending on a coinflip with Dallas).

By banks posted December 30th, 2013 at 2:05 PM

Mike Shanahan and His Staff Officially Fired By Dan Snyder

Screen shot 2013-12-30 at 10.03.38 AM



Glad this didn’t play out too long. Took long enough as it was. He wasn’t the person for the job. He did nothing to deserve to continue this job. Bad coaching decisions every week. Unprepared every week. No idea how to manage the clock. No idea how to manage his staff.

So Dan Snyder runs through another coach. Let’s not act like Shanahan is the only bad guy here. Snyder is the fucking worst. He has no idea how to run a football team. He can’t keep his midget hands out of the GM duties. He is the real problem.

Since Snyder bought the team:

Norv Turner (1999-2000)
Terry Robiskie (2000)
Marty Schottenheimer (2001)
Steve Spurrier (2002-2003)
Joe Gibbs (2004-2007)
Jim Zorn (2008-2009)
Mike Shanahan (2010-2013)

Coaching this team is a death wish. Snyder will shell out a ton of money for the biggest name he can find. And then I guess we’ll wait and see what terrible thing happens.

But for now, let’s be glad Shanny is out the door. He just wasn’t a good head coach. Just look at the games from this season. While other teams made adjustments, the Skins got rocked. While other teams made changes, Keith Burns stayed on as the special teams coach all season, despite having the worst special teams unit in the history of the NFL, and that’s not hyperbole. And the leaks, the politics, and the drama that came from him, all ridiculous. And has the worst relationship possible with the face of the franchise. This change was needed. Just now need to pray to little baby Jesus in his manger Snyder hires the right coach, not just the most expensive one.

By Nate posted December 30th, 2013 at 10:20 AM





By Nate posted December 30th, 2013 at 9:54 AM

The “Has Mike Shanahan Been Fired Yet?” Watch Begins!







Fuck that guy. 3-13. Doesn’t feel too good. Feels pretty shitty actually.

His records in DC:

10-6 and a ruined franchise QB

Take a fucking hike. Mike, Kyle, Keith, Jim, everyone.

By Nate posted December 29th, 2013 at 4:30 PM


flacco bengals loss



Welp, that’s the season. Dalton gave the Ravens every opportunity early to take control of this game, and they pissed it away. Their inability to finish drives has been a major issue all season, and it doomed them today. Can’t expect to beat good football teams settling for 3. Sure they tied the game late in the 3rd, but they never should’ve been in the hole in the first place. Today fucking sucked. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go root for Philip Rivers to keep Pittsburgh out of the playoffs.

By banks posted December 29th, 2013 at 4:20 PM

We Made it to Week 17.


It’s with a heavy heart that I have to type this one last Redskins game day blog. Even though they are the worst team on the planet, no, in every universe ever, I still get hyped to watch football every Sunday. Still love the Redskins, albeit while hating them too. And still believe that one day, maybe after an asteroid wipes out every other team, that the Redskins will be a competent, competitive team again.

London Fletcher’s last game in the burgundy and gold. Santana Moss too. And probably DeAngelo Hall as well. So hoping to get a win today and fire everyone on the coaching staff tomorrow.




Goodness gracious great balls of fire flames cleats.

By Nate posted December 29th, 2013 at 12:45 PM

Ravens-Bengals “Must Win” Live Blog


There’s 2 very different ways this game could go. Either the Bengals are going to come in guns hot and smoke the Ravens up and down the field and the season is going to be curtains by halftime. Or the Ravens are going to win a long, dramatic nail-biting defensive game. Baltimore played better last week than the score indicated, and they tend to have the resiliency to bounce back and fight when the going gets tough. I’m choosing door number two. Hopefully the Jets can take care of the Dolphins so we don’t have to sweat out a Chiefs-Chargers matchup at 4:25. Let’s do this thing.

Ravens 17, Bengals 16

By banks posted December 29th, 2013 at 12:25 PM
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