What a great Thanksgiving Week it has been. Enjoy your friends and family and 8-15 miller lites. Enjoying seeing who from high school got fat. Enjoy the football, the family fights, and the pretending to offer to do the dishes.
We’ll be blogging here and there the next few days because we love you. Have a good one.
Swaggy is the smoothest dude on the planet. He got with Iggy Azalea’s ass from making her his #WCW on Twitter. He then took her on a first date to Target and he’s been eating that hole ever since. That’s called love, folks. Romeo and Juliet do not have shit on these two crazy cats. Now, I do see a very big hole in his other ways to pick up women. They require you to actually speak to girls, and we all know that’s impossible. Thanks for the advice anyway though!
DraftKings Wishes You A Happy Thanksgiving By Having The $600,000 Wishbone Classic Fantasy Football Contest
Just what you needed to go with your beer, your stuffing, your pumpkin pie, and your racist grandma- The chance to win $100,000. Is that good? I think it’s good. Here’s all you gots to do:
-Draft 1 QB, 2 RB, 3 WR, 1 TE, 1 FLEX, and 1 DST from the Thanksgiving NFL games
-Choose your players from the Bears vs. Lions, Eagles vs. Cowboys, and Seahawks vs. 49ers games
-$20 to enter, $100,000 First Place Prize
-Top 5 places all win 5-figure prizes and top 8,150 places cash out
-Thanksgiving Day Only.
You’d be a damn fool not to do this. Wake up from that turkey coma with 100 large to your name. Can you imagine? I can. Because I’m going to win.
You know what? Not blown away. Expected better out of Robin Thicke. (Cue the people saying they “would”. No shit! I would if she shaved her head, and had 3 eyeballs and a 2 foot long tail.) But I’m not Robin Thicke. But you know what? It’s Thanksgiving. I’m glad he and his 19 year old girlfriend who is for sure not a gold digging whore found true love. I’m just going to be happy for them. And you know what else? It just moved. A Thanksgiving Miracle!
How Amazing is it That In 2014 We Now Know What It Looks Like When a Lamb Chop Gets Blasted Into Outer Space?
Independent - When a marketing team strapped a GoPro onto a tandoori lamb chop and launched it into space, they did not expect the hunk of meat to disappear for five months, only to return carrying reams of stunning footage showing its ascent into space. Before daybreak on 14 June this summer, novelist Nikesh Shukla and his two friends inflated a 2-metre wide weather balloon and attached the kitted-up tandoori chop, and launched it 31km into the stratosphere. The balloon rose at 325 metres per minute for 95 minutes before bursting somewhere over Hungerford, West Berkshire. GPS contact was lost shortly afterwards. The team had hoped that the GPS would re-connect, but the freezing temperatures of near space scrambled the device and it did not survive the flight. Shukla, who was using the stunt to promote his novel Meatspace, and his friends feared they would never retrieve the lamb chop or the footage from the GoPro. But a month later, a farm worker who only identified himself as Adam contacted flight organiser Nick Hearne after he discovered the chop and the camera as he harvested land in Manston, Dorset – some 82 miles form the launch site. However, the group’s hopes were once again dashed when Adam arranged to meet them at locations in Dorchester, Bridgend and Weston-super-mare – but stood them up every time, using different phone numbers and excuses each time. With help from the Avon and Somerset Police, Adam got back into contact with the group in early November and organised a meeting with a different farm worker, whom he called Will. The group were stunned to find the 100 minutes of footage which the GoPro had filmed, showing the lamb chop make its ascent through the clouds above Earth.
Pretty fucking amazing if you ask me. This is the epitome of modern technology. It’s simply unbelievable how far we have come as a society. Think about it this way- If you tell your grandmother at the Thanksgiving table that they just launched tandoori lamb chop into outer space and they have video of it, what would she say? Would she even be able to comprehend it? Or would she just say something about illegal immigration and give you a hot Ferguson take? Probably the latter two. Think about how far technology has evolved (apologies to Curt Schilling). We are at a place in time where we are sending lamb chops into outer space. How is this possible? And how fucking cocky are we? Meanwhile Starvin Marvin over in Africa is eating sand for dinner, and we are launching food into space for YouTube videos. Fucking insane.
Hey @BarstoolNate, for the first time I'm going to be 21 at a family gathering. How trashed am I allowed to get?
— Otter (@OtterRTV) November 25, 2013
Great question. My answer: Pretty trashed.
The way to go about Thanksgiving is to drink all day while watching football, obviously. You start at noon, with miller lites (or your choice of light beer) and drink steadily til the meal. You have to drink light beers because you do not, under any circumstances, want to fill up before the turkey comes out. I guarantee the pilgrims would not be too happy if they knew you didn’t have your second helping of stuffing because you went with Guiness. Huge rookie mistake. Just not the way Thanksgiving was drawn up, and the last thing you want to do is disappoint the pilgrims. I think the perfect plan is you have 8-15 miller lites and then have the slight spins when you sit down at the table and just get in that drunk eating zone. Like, where nothing else in the world matters, you are dialed in, ready to go. It’s your time to shine. You know that feeling when you’re drunk and you are in the perfect sexting zone? Where every word you send to the chick just feels right? That’s how you should feel when you sit down at the table. Pure bliss.
Besides how great it is to drink and watch football all day on a Thursday, the other reason it’s not only important, but necessary to be drunk at the table because it takes that sort of focus on the meal to dodge all the questions from your mom about how your ex girlfriend is doing. Like, no better time to ask about the girl that took a shit on you than at the Thanksgiving dinner table, huh? Gotta be prepared for that. Gotta be ready for Grandma’s racial slurs, and if god forbid you’re a chick, the “why aren’t you married yet?” questions. Being sober at Thanksgiving? No fucking thank you.
Sun – Maryland’s Mark Turgeon knows how to beat Iowa State. Turgeon improved to 6-0 all-time against the Cyclones as a head coach, guiding the Terps to a 72-63 victory over No. 13 Iowa State in the championship game of the CBE Hall of Fame Classic on Tuesday night at Sprint Center. Maryland is off to a 5-0 start for the first time in eight seasons. “We were meeting as a staff last night, and we couldn’t figure out what to do,” Turgeon said after the game. “They were saying, ‘We can’t do this,’ and ‘We can’t do that.’ “I said, ‘Should we just forfeit?’ Finally I said, ‘Everybody get out of my room and let me watch some film. We’ll figure it out.’” Apparently they did. Forward Jake Layman and guard Jared Nickens each scored 15 points for the Terps. Guard Dez Wells had 14 points, and guard Melo Trimble added 11. “I thought Jared Nickens changed the game when he came in and whapped that [3-pointer],” Turgeon said. “He really got them spaced out.” Nickens, a freshman, was not bashful. He finished 6-for-10 from the field, including 3-for-7 from 3-point range. “My teammates have confidence in me,” he said. “Dez always tells me when I come in to do what I do, and that’s to shoot. I just wanted to come in and have an impact in the game.” The Terps led throughout the second half and sent home an unhappy partisan crowd three hours from the Iowa State campus.
Maryland has had really good, sometimes even great recruiting classes going back to 2002 when they won the national championship. And every year has ended in disappointment. So after a bunch of transfers after last season, I did not know what to expect coming into this season. I liked the team, but they are young and inexperienced. After the first 5 games, it doesn’t look like that matters.
On Monday, Maryland knocked off Arizona State when freshman Melo Trimble dropped 31 in their faces. This kid can flat out ball. It’s a ridiculous feeling to have a McDonald’s All-American who looks head and shoulders above the other players on the court. The other freshmen I love right now are 7 footer Michal Cekovsky and 3-point shooter Jared Nickens. Cekovsky is just another huge Euro to stumble into College Park. Weird how that happens. The big white 7 footers just gravitate towards Maryland. And Nickens was the forgotten freshman in the bunch, and he can shoot the lights out. I can’t remember the last time Maryland had so many people who were pure scorers. Adding in Dez Wells and Jake Layman who has a newfound love for dunking, and this team is silly fun to watch.
With Maryland football about to move to 8-4 (unless they somehow lose at home to Rutgers) and Maryland basketball knocking off the 13th ranked team in the nation, it’s a good time to be a Terp. Be afraid, Big 10. Be very afraid. #DirtyTerps
Schefty - Washington is planning to start Colt McCoy over Robert Griffin III on Sunday at Indianapolis, per a team source.
While Griffin is not a part of Washington’s plan for Sunday’s game, he still appears to be a significant part of the Redskins’ long-term plan, per another source.
Yet right now, Washington is hitting the reset button, though it might not last long, a source cautioned. Washington has high hopes for the coming off-season.
For the first time since it surrendered three first-round picks and one second-round pick for the right to draft Griffin III, the Redskins will have their full allotment of picks in addition to room under the salary cap.
Behind owner Dan Snyder and general manager Bruce Allen, the team will be positioned to strike this off-season, spend big-time dollars and improve its roster.
Plus Washington hired Jay Gruden in large part for his stellar work with quarterbacks, and the team is convinced coaching, cash and patience can help turn Griffin back into the player who won the Heisman Trophy and Offensive Rookie of the Year in back-to-back seasons.
But for now, it has been a battle. Griffin III is coming off his most challenging NFL outing at San Francisco, where he was battererd in the pocket and struggled when he did have time to throw.
It forced Washington to consider a change that is expected to become official Wednesday, when Gruden meets with reporters. On Monday, Gruden said he intended to start Griffin III vs. the Colts, but he never fully committed to it.
Griffin III is scheduled to meet with the media in a previously scheduled news conference at 11:30 am, though it is uncertain whether he still will speak then.
Let’s make no mistake about it- I supported RG3. I wanted him to succeed. Why turn your back on the QB that led you to the playoffs and was offensive rookie of the year? That’d be like Chicago turning on Cutler because of one bad season. I saw what Griffin accomplished in 2012. I saw glimmers of hope in his game earlier this season. We all did. But as the season wore on, he regressed. His reads got worse. His technique fell apart. He just did not resemble an NFL quarterback whatsoever. Jay Gruden was given the power to bench Dan Snyder’s prized possession, and bench him he did.
And let’s make no mistake about Schefty reporting that RG3 is still in their future plans. That’s all bullshit and we all know it. Jay Gruden was brought in to turn this team around. And he has decided that Griffin is not his QB of the future. Everything he’s seen in games and in practice have made him want to move on and start fresh. It’s as simple as that. Gruden is a QB guy and he wants his own guy under center. He doesn’t want to be known as a failure of a headcoach because he was forced to use guys who he does not think best run his system.
You can’t help but feel a bit bad for RG3. The guy wants to win, very badly. He wants to be a great QB. Unfortunately, he has had ridiculously bad luck since coming to the NFL that you wouldn’t wish on anybody. Blowing out his knee in the playoff game in 2012. Fighting back from injury but returning too soon, sabotaging last season (albeit that being due to his ego and Dan Snyder’s stubbornness). And then this season, blowing out his ankle in the second game of the season. The things he relied on while he was learning to be a pocket passer- his speed, quickness, and athleticism- were all gone. Think back to 2012, he was a fucking rocket out there. Blazing speed. If you watched last week’s game and never saw him in college or 2012, you wouldn’t even believe me he was a 4.3/4.4 guy.
The fact this leaked last night is ridiculous. The Redskins organization is clownshoe city. It may have been someone from RG3′s camp (keep in mind his dad is a psycho), but it could have been someone who just likes to start drama within the team. The fact they can’t plug this leaks is atrocious. No other NFL team operates this way. Of course, it all starts at the top with Snyder. When the guy in charge has little respect, is a scheming, two-faced asshole, that attitude will trickle down. No accountability, no professionalism.
So what now with RG3? I don’t know. He’s not going to be a backup in DC. He needs to go to a place for a fresh start. Where there is a strong, veteran coach who will walk him through how to be a real NFL QB. It didn’t work in DC because he was too buddy-buddy with the owner who does not allow the coach to have total control and command of the team. So I think they have to say fuck it and trade him, or if need-be, release him. Just cut their losses. And learn from their mistakes (haha, Daniel Snyder learning from mistakes, classic).
As for the organization, are thing changing? Too soon to say. Snyder “allowed” Gruden to bench Griffin. That’s step number 1. It will be interesting to see if he will allow him to now pick his own players. Or perhaps Gruden will influence Snyder into hiring a real GM. Not a businessman who can’t properly evaluate which they currently have, but a real football GM. Because again, they can bench the QB, they can bring in new coaches, but everything trickles down from the top. The whole organization has to change in order for this to be a winning environment. Hopefully we’ll see the necessary changes, but I’m not holding my breath.
Washington is planning to start Colt McCoy over Robert Griffin III on Sunday at Indianapolis, per a team source…. http://t.co/o0WZcOitBr
— Adam Schefter (@AdamSchefter) November 26, 2014
The Colt Train is back baby! The guy that stole our hearts in his heroic performance in Dallas on MNF is back in as starter. And the guy we gave up 100 picks for who sadly was never able to develop as a QB due to injuries, confidence issues, and whatever else is apparently done.
I really thought they’d let him finish out the year as starter, to either show he can still possibly be the RG3 of 2012 or to play himself out the job. I guess Gruden has seen enough and has decided RG3 is not his guy. It appears his time in DC as a starting QB is just about over.
Maybe we’ll get a 6th round pick for him.