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Barstool DMV Smokeshow Of The Day – Lauren From Elon

    Lauren from Elon to end your snowy Monday. I put out the challenge for more smokes and Elon, as they always do, answered. Keep the smokes coming into DMV@Barstoolsports.com.        

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Lauren from Elon to end your snowy Monday.

I put out the challenge for more smokes and Elon, as they always do, answered. Keep the smokes coming into DMV@Barstoolsports.com.

 
 

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By Nate posted January 26th, 2015 at 5:41 PM

John Wall And The Wizards Won In The Most Ridiculous Way Last Night

Say whattttttt?   Washington Post - The stunning sequence of events began at the conclusion of the fourth quarter. With the game tied at 105, the Wizards came out of a timeout with 21.5 seconds remaining and a chance to put Denver away. As the clock ticked down, Wall looked to his right from atop [...]


Say whattttttt?

 

Washington Post - The stunning sequence of events began at the conclusion of the fourth quarter. With the game tied at 105, the Wizards came out of a timeout with 21.5 seconds remaining and a chance to put Denver away. As the clock ticked down, Wall looked to his right from atop the key, where Beal emerged from a screen covered, and decided it was on him to make something happen. But when Wall drove to his left into the lane, he was stripped by Kenneth Faried. The versatile and explosive Faried then took the ball down the length of the court uncontested until he met Beal at the rim. Faried missed the layup but drew Beal’s sixth foul to send him off to the bench and earn a chance to win the game at the free throw line. Beal’s foul proved crucial because Faried missed both attempts.

 
 

We can hold it right there. Beal fouled out with the game tied with 1.1 seconds left on the clock, and then Faried somehow missed both free throws. Was the most incredible end to a game in regulation I’ve seen this year. So they went to OT and the Wiz had the game won until….

 

 

Never seen anything like it. Great win as the Wiz are now 15 games above .500 and notched their 30th win of the year.

 

By Nate posted January 26th, 2015 at 4:58 PM

UPDATE: Tom Is Claiming He Never Quit Blink 182

Awkward city.

 

So you’re saying the band is putting out press releases saying he quit the band, saying Matt Skiba is replacing him, etc etc..and Tom is flat out denying it? Awkward city.

 
 

Mark Hoppus issued a statement that DeLonge decided to “indefinitely” leave the band. “We were all set to play this festival and record a new album and Tom kept putting it off without reason,” Hoppus and Barker said. “A week before we were scheduled to go in to the studio, we got an email from his manager explaining that he didn’t want to participate in any Blink-182 projects indefinitely, but would rather work on his other non-musical endeavors.”

 
 

So looks like Tom is back in! I mean realistically he’s probably not, he just didn’t want to look like an asshole, but what a twist on this story. Emotional roller coaster. One second they are broken up for good, the next second Tom is planning secret NYC shows. While Mark is giving his eulogy from the band, Tom is kicking the coffin open. I guess we’ll just take off our pants and see what happens next.
 

By Nate posted January 26th, 2015 at 4:00 PM

Tom DeLonge Has Quit Blink 182

  Rolling Stone - Tom DeLonge, longtime guitarist and co-vocalist of the punk trio Blink-182, has left the group, his bandmates announced in a statement Monday. Suspicions began when the band revealed that Alkaline Trio guitarist/singer Matt Skiba was recruited to join Blink-182 at the group’s upcoming headlining set at drummer Travis Barker’s eighth annual [...]

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Rolling Stone - Tom DeLonge, longtime guitarist and co-vocalist of the punk trio Blink-182, has left the group, his bandmates announced in a statement Monday. Suspicions began when the band revealed that Alkaline Trio guitarist/singer Matt Skiba was recruited to join Blink-182 at the group’s upcoming headlining set at drummer Travis Barker’s eighth annual Musink Festival on March 22nd in Orange County, California, KROQ reports. Soon after, Blink-182′s Barker and bassist/singer Mark Hoppus issued a statement that DeLonge decided to “indefinitely” leave the band. “We were all set to play this festival and record a new album and Tom kept putting it off without reason,” Hoppus and Barker said. “A week before we were scheduled to go in to the studio, we got an email from his manager explaining that he didn’t want to participate in any Blink-182 projects indefinitely, but would rather work on his other non-musical endeavors.”

 
 

Well, I guess it was going to happen again sooner or later. Tom has quit Blink. My initial reaction is of course he did- He’s grown tirelessly self-centered and holier than thou since they broke up the first time. He thinks Angels and Airwaves, and more so himself and his song writing are god’s gifts to Earth. And when he sings now with his weird voice and his hand motions and all of that, it’s just become all about him and less about the band. It was abundantly clear his heart wasn’t with the band and just wanted to keep focusing on himself, which I suppose is fine, but he was such an ass about the entire thing.

I’m glad Mark is going to go on with Blink. And with Matt Skiba nonetheless. Should be interesting. It does suck though. I mean it’s fucking Blink 182. It’s Mark, Tom, and Travis. 20 years kinda just poof, gone now. I’ve written before that if my parents didn’t stupidly buy me Enema of the State and then The Mark, Tom, And Travis Show I would never have realized you can make poop and dick jokes. And Tom was the master of those. Those two CDs were life-altering for young Nate. But I guess this is growing up.

 

 

By Nate posted January 26th, 2015 at 3:12 PM

Humble Brag Tweet Of The Century Brought To You By Todd Brunson

"We came to a nice steak house without a reservation. Big line. They asked if we were celebrating anything. I said yes I won 5 mil yesterday"

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There it is, the humble brag tweet of the century. How did he win 5 mil in a night you ask?

 

All In - It started with a simple tweet at 10:08 p.m. Las Vegas time on Friday, January 23, from the account of a little-known poker pro with about 450 Twitter followers: “Andy Beal playing HU 50K/100K with Todd Brunson in Bobby’s Room. I’m about to lose my mind” With that, Kyle Loman became the front-lines reporter for the biggest live-action poker news story of 2015. Granted, it’s only January, so there isn’t much competition for that distinction. But like two pair against an open-ender, it has a pretty good shot at holding up. By the end of 2015, we’ll probably still be marveling over the night Andy Beal returned to Vegas and dropped $5 million to Todd Brunson in a single session. Beal’s earlier battles with “The Corporation,” a conglomerate of the world’s best poker players including Brunson, his father Doyle, Jennifer Harman, Phil Ivey, Howard Lederer, and others, were the stuff of legends and the subject of one of the best poker narratives ever written, Michael Craig’s 2006 release The Professor, The Banker, And The Suicide King. But the Texas billionaire vowed to quit poker after losing $16.6 million to Ivey over three days in February ’06, and indeed, hadn’t been seeing playing against the pros for staggering stakes since.

 
 

For those who can’t comprehend this, the stakes they were playing was the small blind was $50,000, the big blind was $100,000. A little different than your home 1/2 game. And Andy Beal, a billionaire, dropped 5 million in a matter of hours. You know that feeling when you drop a grand at the casino and you are like “man, I could have booked a week vacation in Cancun for that money I just lost in 30 minutes playing blackjack”? I guess it’s kind of like that, but enough money to buy your own island. The good news for Beal is he’s a billionaire so 5 million to him is barely worth the money it’s printed on. On the other hand, that grand I dropped kinda hurt so I’d appreciate if you’d buy a ticket to the Vday bar crawl coming up next weekend.

 
 


 

By Nate posted January 26th, 2015 at 2:30 PM

Lance Armstrong Saying If He Could Go Back, He Wouldn’t Change His Decision To Cheat Makes Me Like Him Much, Much More

Saying "yea I cheated, and I'd do it again" is what I needed to hear.

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BBC – Shamed cyclist Lance Armstrong believes the time is coming when he should be forgiven for doping and lying – and told the BBC he would probably do it again. Armstrong, 43, was stripped of his record seven Tour de France titles and banned from sport for life by the United States Anti-Doping Agency (Usada) in August 2012″ If I was racing in 2015, no, I wouldn’t do it again because I don’t think you have to,” he said. “If you take me back to 1995, when doping was completely pervasive, I would probably do it again.” Armstrong said sales at his bicycle supplier Trek Bicycles went from $100m (£66.5m) to $1bn and his charity foundation went from “raising no money to raising $500m, serving three million people”. Armstrong did admit to “unacceptable and inexcusable” behaviour towards other people during his career. “I would want to change the man that did those things, maybe not the decision, but the way he acted,” he continued.

 
 

Finally some honesty and rationality. I’m not a Lance Armstrong guy in the least. But I now like him a little bit more. Saying “yea I cheated, and I’d do it again” is what I needed to hear. EVERYONE doped. It didn’t matter, it was just a stupid bicycle race that 9 people watched. He did not expect to blow up the way he did, nor did he expect to make the sort of cash he made. But when he saw what he had going for him, he capitalized to the max. And to win all those Tour de Frances was the perfect way to do it. So of course he continued doping and blood swapping and all that other shit. He was making a zillion dollars, raising all sorts of money for charity, and banging Sheryl Crow. Life was swell. There is no reason for him to lie and say he would go back and do it cleanly when every other bike rider was doing the exact same thing. I’m not going to look up the exact statistic, but in one of the Tour de France’s, they had to strip something like the first 30 people of their results. The guy who finished 31st officially won. That’s where bike riding is at. So good for Lance for being real. And not hard to blame him for throwing everyone else under the bus. He saw his bank account and wasn’t about to risk losing that, which ended up costing him more in the long run because SHOCKER lawyers are smarter than him, but it was worth a shot.

And if you still care he cheated in some dumb bike races, get a hobby. Go see a movie. It’s bike riding. Relax.
 

By Nate posted January 26th, 2015 at 1:40 PM

The GREATEST Robbery Of All Time, Without a Doubt. Must Watch Video.

        Slow clap. Standing ovation. Does not get any better than this. Top 1 video of the year so far. Everything is perfect. Nothing about it makes sense. The pants falling down, the boulder she uses to smash the glass, the fact she only took like 2 things, the fact someone is [...]

 
 

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Slow clap. Standing ovation. Does not get any better than this. Top 1 video of the year so far. Everything is perfect. Nothing about it makes sense. The pants falling down, the boulder she uses to smash the glass, the fact she only took like 2 things, the fact someone is there and doesn’t stop her. All of it.

And is it really that easy to rob jewelry stores? I might get in on this. All you need is a 50 pound rock. She took her sweet time, made no difference. Just an amazing job. A+ robbery.
 

By Nate posted January 26th, 2015 at 12:44 PM

Why Did Ovi Want That Car So Badly? So He Could Donate It To His Favorite Charity

Really great stuff all around.

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CapitalsEven though he wasn’t named MVP of the 2015 Honda NHL All-Star Game on Sunday night, Washington Capitals captain Alex Ovechkin finally got his new car. He won’t be keeping it for too long. Ovechkin, who missed out on the car Friday night after famously lobbying to be picked last in the 2015 NHL All-Star Fantasy Draft Presented by Draft Kings, was given the key to new Honda after the game Sunday. He is donating the new wheels to the Washington Ice Dogs Special Hockey program, which is based in Crofton, MD. Ovechkin’s connection with the Washington Ice Dogs program includes his friendship with Ann Schaub, a 10-year-old girl with Down Syndrome who went on a sushi dinner date with Ovechkin in September. “It means a lot,” Ovechkin told NHL.com. “Honda connected with my agent and they just gave me a car so I’m going to donate to [Washington Ice Dogs] and that sweet little girl.” Ovechkin’s quiet plan all along was to win the car Friday night so he could donate it to Washington Ice Dogs. He told nobody and was going to announce it if he was indeed one of the last two picks in the draft. He was picked third to last in the draft. The representatives from Honda were so intrigued by Ovechkin’s intense lobbying at the fantasy draft that they contacted his agent, David Abrutyn, to learn more about it. As soon as Honda heard about Ovechkin’s intentions they decided they would give him the car.

 
 

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Ovi is the man part 103. Campaigned all weekend for a free car so he could give it to his favorite charity. That was all he wanted that whole time. To be picked last in the draft so he could donate the free car. Then he decided since he wasn’t picked last he’d just win the MVP of the game, but instead he just distributed the puck and ended up with 3 assists, not winning the MVP. But then Honda came through and gave him a car to donate to the Washington Ice Dogs Special Hockey program that he fell in love with after taking a 10 year old on a Sushi date. Good look from Honda and Ovi, who continues to win everyone’s heart. Ovi’s weekend summed up: Got drunk for 3 days straight, called a fan and left a voicemail, played a little bit of hockey, donated a car to charity. Really great stuff all around.
 

 

By Nate posted January 26th, 2015 at 12:01 PM

Need To Take Your Mind Off Things For a While? No Frets, It’s Midget Stripper January At a Baltimore Strip Club

    It’s cold, it’s snowy, it’s almost tax season so you’re about to be poor again. You can’t turn on ESPN because you don’t care about the PSI of footballs, you can’t watch movies because the Pirate Bay is down, you ordered Dominos twice yesterday, and you’re upset because of the results of a [...]

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It’s cold, it’s snowy, it’s almost tax season so you’re about to be poor again. You can’t turn on ESPN because you don’t care about the PSI of footballs, you can’t watch movies because the Pirate Bay is down, you ordered Dominos twice yesterday, and you’re upset because of the results of a wrestling PPV. No fear. Don’t fret. It’s Midget Stripper January, bitch! If that’s not a pick-me-up, I don’t know what is. And what PERFECT placement for these billboards back-to-back:

 

 

You thought you lost faith in God, didn’t ya? Just for a second there, but then you saw it was Midget Stripper January, as if it was a gift from the heavens.

What a great day to be alive. Beautiful snow on the ground, going to get a tax refund soon, ESPN talks about the NFL nonstop, eating lots of delicious buttery popcorn at the movie theater these days, pizza is delivered directly to your door for multiple meals per day without judgement, and the WWE just got interesting again. All thanks to Midget Stripper January.
 

By Nate posted January 26th, 2015 at 11:11 AM

STOP THE PRESSES! The KFC Double Down Dog Is A Thing That Exists

I need an adult RT @andytoddcook: Wut? pic.twitter.com/sUxRupmKZS — Zach Harper (@talkhoops) January 26, 2015     YOU HAVE MY ATTENTION KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN. I don’t know how to express my feelings here. That is a thing that exists in our world. When my children have children, and their children have children, we will speak [...]

 

 

YOU HAVE MY ATTENTION KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN. I don’t know how to express my feelings here. That is a thing that exists in our world. When my children have children, and their children have children, we will speak of a time where KFC used fried chicken as a hot dog bun and all was right in the world for one glimmering moment. War, famine, disease, Reigns winning the Rumble, none of that mattered as we felated a hotdog wrapped in a piece of chicken and covered it with cheese. Amen.

By Nate posted January 26th, 2015 at 10:19 AM
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