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Barstool DMV Smokeshow of the Day – Chelsea From Maryland

    DMV Smoke of the day Chelsea from Maryland. Bringing that Terp heat. Smokes like Chelsea make me proud to be an alum. Send more smokes! Send Facebook links to DMV@Barstoolsports.com.    

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DMV Smoke of the day Chelsea from Maryland. Bringing that Terp heat. Smokes like Chelsea make me proud to be an alum.

Send more smokes! Send Facebook links to DMV@Barstoolsports.com.

 

 

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By Nate posted September 30th, 2014 at 5:40 PM

Bowtie Bob, Age 69, Goes Out In Baltimore 5 Nights A Week And Can’t Even Take The Trash Out Without Rocking A Bowtie

  Baltimore Magazine — Chances are, if you’ve been to any local event, you’ll recognize “Bowtie Bob” Nelson. He’s the older man in pastel colors, maybe a flashy fedora, but alwayswearing a bow tie.  The Mt. Vernon resident, 69, who dubs himself “semi-retired,” goes out five nights a week and says he’s not slowing down. “I [...]

 

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Baltimore Magazine — Chances are, if you’ve been to any local event, you’ll recognize “Bowtie Bob” Nelson. He’s the older man in pastel colors, maybe a flashy fedora, but alwayswearing a bow tie.  The Mt. Vernon resident, 69, who dubs himself “semi-retired,” goes out five nights a week and says he’s not slowing down. “I never want to confuse my age with my date of birth,” he says with a laugh. “People think I’m crazy to go out so much in the city, but I love the people, the neighborhoods.”  A typical week for Nelson involves nonprofit meetings, hanging out at The Brewer’s Art or Liam Flynn’s Ale House, seeing a movie at The Charles Theatre, hitting up a weekend festival, and walking 10 miles a day.  And you can’t forget his style. “I’ve always been Joe College or preppy,” he says. “I won’t take the trash out without a bow tie on.” Nelson says he owns nearly 40 versions of his signature accessory and shops vintage at DeBois Textiles. Basically, at nearly 70 years old and rocking a pacemaker, Nelson is one of the coolest kids in town.  “I may have another 30 years or three days left,” he says. “But, I’ll be laying down in the ground a lot longer. So I’ve got plenty of time to do that later on.”

 

The man, the myth the legend! Bowtie Bob himself! If you’ve partaken in some Fed Hill shenanigans, there’s a good chance you’ve run into Bowtie Bob chillin hard on the corner. Just stylin’, profilin with all the 20-somethings without a care in the world. Don’t blink or he’ll steal your girl and send her home happy. Doesn’t even matter that I think people who rock bowties are assholes. Bob owns it, and I respect the hell out of it. Guy was born to rock it. He’s more devoted to wearing bowties than I am wearing to pants. And going out 5 nights a week?! Ferocious. Bob has as much game in his little finger than I’ve ever had in my life. Look. Even went toe to toe with him last winter…

 

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Throttled. Didn’t stand a chance. Absolutely foolish of me to even consider going against a legend like Bowtie Bob Nelson.

 

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By banks posted September 30th, 2014 at 4:54 PM

The Cavs Dion Waiters Is Butthurt at the Wizards After Bradley Beal Called the Wizards’ Back Court The Best in the League

Dion Waiters on John Wall and Bradley Beal proclaiming themselves the best backcourt in the league: "That's nonsense" — Dave McMenamin (@mcten) September 30, 2014   John Wall on Dion Waiters' "nonsense" remark: "you gotta win a playoff game first before you can talk. You gotta be a starter first." — A. Sharif (@Abdu11ah) September [...]


 

 

Shots fired! Look, I think you have to be a big-time homer (which I’ve never been accused of being) to think the Wiz are better than the Cavs right now. It’s not going to be a walk in the park playing against a team with Kyrie, Love, and LeBron. But who in the fuck is Dion Waiters to start chirping? That’s the story here. Pump the breaks lil fella. Waiters doesn’t even start for the Cavs (he started 24 of the 70 games he played in last year). He’s basically an afterthought on his own team. But there he goes, yapping away.

And my other big takeaway here is how it’s night and day in terms of confidence with this year’s Wiz team to last year. Last season, John Wall started off by writing “playoffs” on his shoes as motivation. Was just happy to get there. Now he isn’t backing down going after people who discredit him and his team. Maybe they aren’t better than Curry/Klay in Golden State, but it’s good to see him have the self-confidence to say they are. That’s what you like to see out of a team. No “we’re just happy to be here” attitude anymore.

I’ve never looked forward to a basketball season more than this one. Lots of storylines, a fun, good team to root for, and a ton of hate for LeBron all mixed together. Should be a blast to follow and write about.
 

By Nate posted September 30th, 2014 at 3:30 PM

The NHL And GoPro Struck a Deal To Start Including POV Footage During Games

  Fan Sided – The NHL recently signed a deal with GoPro to bring fans a closer look than ever from the perspective of their favorite hockey players. AdWeek reports that NHL promos and even broadcasts this season will include point-of-view footage from players that display the speed and skill of a professional that fans [...]

 

Fan Sided – The NHL recently signed a deal with GoPro to bring fans a closer look than ever from the perspective of their favorite hockey players. AdWeek reports that NHL promos and even broadcasts this season will include point-of-view footage from players that display the speed and skill of a professional that fans have yet to see outside of All-Star weekend. “The [technology] demystifies our game—and truly shows what skill our players have,” NHL CMO Brian Jennings said of the GoPro. He called the views one could see of an NHL game ‘unimaginable’ before this deal was signed. Now fans can see for themselves the speed and intensity found on the average NHL rink. The league and GoPro tested out this technology by installing cameras in dozens of helmets on the NHL’s Player Media Tour at Prudential Center in Newark, NJ. Having liked what they saw, the parties decided to move forward in implementing the technology this year. Aside from NHL executives, some players were also excited about the capabilities of the GoPro in an NHL broadcast. “It can definitely help the game become even more interesting for the viewer, no question,” said New York Rangers goaltender Henrik Lundqvist. We’ll see how interesting a slap shot from the blue line looks like when it’s zeroed in on him and other goalies in the league starting this fall.

 

The video above is from a blog I wrote last year when an AHL ref wore a GoPro. And it’s awesome. I love hearing ref/player interaction. The way they do it in hockey is unlike any other sport, because they understand they are all adults out there and shit happens. You tell an ump in baseball to fuck off, you get tossed. You tell a hockey ref to fuck off, he tells you to fuck off right back. I think this is a great, great move for the NHL. The number one complaint from people who can’t get into hockey is that it’s hard to watch on TV. And I sorta bought that argument before we had HDTV. Go find a standard definition TV and flip on a hockey game. It feels a lot like being back in 6th grade watching scrambled porn. But people still say hockey is tough to watch because they all wear helmets and can’t pronounce anyone’s name. Which is a fair point. So adding these new technologies to the game to add to the viewer experience only helps. Having a first-hand look from a goalie’s POV should be great. POV footage of a fight will be amazing. And like I said before, just the interactions everyone has is worth the price of admission alone.

By Nate posted September 30th, 2014 at 2:30 PM

Sports Illustrated For Some Reason Put The Orioles Adam Jones and the Capitals Alex Ovechkin on the Same Cover

  SI - While the Baltimore Ravens have won two Super Bowl titles this century, the fans of the Beltway are waiting for the Baltimore Orioles and Washington Capitals to hoist trophies in their respective sports. Orioles outfielder Adam Jones and Capitals forward Alex Ovechkin are on this week’s regional cover of Sports Illustrated, which [...]

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SI - While the Baltimore Ravens have won two Super Bowl titles this century, the fans of the Beltway are waiting for the Baltimore Orioles and Washington Capitals to hoist trophies in their respective sports. Orioles outfielder Adam Jones and Capitals forward Alex Ovechkin are on this week’s regional cover of Sports Illustrated, which previews the MLB postseason and upcoming NHL season. Led by high-powered offenses, both Washington and Baltimore hope early playoff exits aren’t in their future. Still searching for its first Stanley Cup, the Capitals conference finals drought reaches back to 1998. They failed to qualify for the playoffs last season. The Orioles’ last World Series title was in 1983, with just four playoff appearances in the past 30 years. Winning championships in both sports is a task in itself: No city has won MLB and NHL titles in the same year since Detroit pulled off the feat with the Tigers and the Red Wings in 1935.

 

Sports Illustrated does realize DC and Baltimore are two different cities, right? Saying “No city has won MLB and NHL titles in the same year since Detroit pulled off the feat with the Tigers and the Red Wings in 1935″ has no bearing on this at all, you know, because the Orioles play in Baltimore and the Caps in DC. Which aren’t the same city at all. Why didn’t they use the best team in baseball Washington Nationals for this cover? I’m so confused. Really one of the strangest decisions I’ve ever seen. The West coast cover has Kershaw and Kopitar. The Midwest cover has Wainright and Oshie. But somehow the East coast cover gets a Baltimore guy and a DC guy. Almost as if people in Baltimore root for DC teams, and people in DC root for Baltimore teams. That certainly can’t be possible, but I guess some idiot somewhere does. I think I speak for everyone when I say the cover would have been better suited with the new face of baseball Bryce Harper with Ovi, but what can ya do? He’ll get his cover after they win the World Series.

By Nate posted September 30th, 2014 at 1:35 PM

MFK Tuesday in the DMV – Your Three Highest Rated Wake Ups Of September

Ellie Gonsalves: Celeste Desjardins: Svetlana Bilyalova: Today is somehow the last day of September. Time flies. So now we have to MFK the three highest rated wakeups from September, not including Helen Owen. Because I use her every month and then she wins every month and then when she’s in MFKs she gets 100% of [...]

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Celeste Desjardins:

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Svetlana Bilyalova:

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Today is somehow the last day of September. Time flies. So now we have to MFK the three highest rated wakeups from September, not including Helen Owen. Because I use her every month and then she wins every month and then when she’s in MFKs she gets 100% of the marriage. So have to leave her out. And what we have here are your 2, 3, and 4 highest rated wakeups of the month. Ellie Gonsalves was also a top rated wakeup of August. Might have to start taking her out of the rotation if she keeps up the great work. Then we have rookie Celeste Desjardins. Amazing performance. First time ever as a wakeup and cracks the top 3. Round of applause. And then Svetlana Bilyalova. Her third time being a wakeup was the charm. Cracked that top 3 (well, number 4 if we’re being honest). But with the Helen rule in effect, she won the bronze.

Marry: Celeste. Rookie with the W! Gotta marry this hoe.

Fuck: Ellie. Perfect body to go a full 3 seconds with.

Kill: Russia. Can’t sneak in and expect to be rewarded.

By Nate posted September 30th, 2014 at 12:48 PM

Breaking: Good Ol Maryland Boy Michael Phelps Popped For His Second DUI Last Night

You know what this means right? He's for sure, 100000% coming back for the Olympics.

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TMZ – Michael Phelps was arrested for driving under the influence in Maryland last night … law enforcement sources tell TMZ Sports. We do not know the details of the arrest — but we’re told cops are preparing a statement and are expected to address the media very soon. It’s Michael’s 2nd DUI arrest — he was popped in Maryland in 2004 when he was 19-years-old. He struck a plea deal with prosecutors and plead guilty in exchange for 18 months probation. We’ve made multiple calls to Michael’s reps — but they would not take our calls. Story developing …

 

Oops! Should he not have done that? You know what this means right? He’s for sure, 100000% coming back for the Olympics. It’s what he does. He gets caught smoking, gets a DUI, then goes to the Olympics. It’s his circle of life. Arrest->public apology->photo opp with kids to rehabilitate his image->eats a ton of breakfast->Olympic champion->strippers, blow, and degening->arrest. And round and round it goes. It’s the only way he knows how to function. Why does he continue to swim and not just live full time in Vegas playing the crazy high stakes poker games he’s known to play while banging 12s he’s known to bang? Fuck if I know. And why does he continue to drive himself when he can pay his coke whores to carry him around town on a throne made out of Subway 5 dollar footlongs? Couldn’t tell ya. But I can now guarantee he will swim in the next Olympics.
 

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By Nate posted September 30th, 2014 at 11:45 AM

Guy Who Ran a 2 Trillion Dollar Investment Fund Resigned Because His Daughter Wanted Him To Spend More Time With Her

I'm sure.

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9 News - The head of a $2 trillion investment fund has revealed he quit his job after his 10-year-old daughter wrote him a note listing 22 special moments in her life he had missed. California-based Mohamed El-Erian shocked the financial world when he announced his resignation as chief executive of PIMCO in January 2014. Mr El-Erian, who made $100 million 2011 alone, said in a recent essay for Worth that his wife and daughter were at the heart of his decision to quit. The 56-year-old said the “wake-up call” happened when he was arguing with his daughter about brushing her teeth and she left to fetch a piece of paper from her room. “It was a list that she had compiled of her important events and activities that I had missed due to work commitments,” he wrote. “The list contained 22 items, from her first day at school and first soccer match of the season to a parent-teacher meeting and a Halloween parade. “I felt awful and got defensive: I had a good excuse for each missed event! Travel, important meetings, an urgent phone call, sudden to-do. “But it dawned on me that I was missing an infinitely more important point … I was not making nearly enough time for her.” Mr El-Erian used to leave home for work at 4.30am each morning but since resigning he and his lawyer wife Jamie take turns in waking up their daughter, preparing her breakfast and bringing her to school, he wrote. He said he has taken a “portfolio” of part-time roles, including being chief economic adviser at Allianz, which require far less travelling and allow him more flexibility.

 

Yea I’m sure he worked his ass off his entire life to go stand outside at a pee wee soccer practice. I’m sure when he was closing multi million dollar deals so he could keep the lights on at home he really cared about missing some bullshit parent-teacher conference. I’m sure. Stupid kid. The reason you have a Halloween costume to begin with is because your dad is waking up at 4:30am to slay the dragon. How about be grateful you brat? Wahhhh, my dad made 100 million dollars in 2011, I’ll have a great life, as will my kids and generations after us because my dad works hard as fuck, wahhhhhh. Zip it, princess. This guy lives and breaths to work. That’s how he’s wired. Just think about making 100 million dollars in a year and continuing to work. I’m hoping someone calls me a pornstar on the radio today so I can sue for 1 million…and he has 99 more million just from one year. And his whiney daughter is making him quit. Erroneous. You don’t just stumble into managing a fund worth trillions of dollars. That isn’t something you wake up one morning and do. Send the kid to public school for a day and make her eat that rubbering weird rectangle pizza and see if she changes her tune. Fuck, she’ll probably volunteer to be the secretary after that.

 

Now I say all that to say that after I wrote this blog, I got to thinking. Everything I wrote is true..AKA this just doesn’t happen. It’s all too sweet. It’s all too fairy tale. So I did a quick search andddddddddd

 
Money – Things aren’t looking up for bond behemoth Pimco. The famed investment firm is under investigation by the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission over the way it prices some of its investments, according to a Pimco representative. The probe was first reported by the Wall Street Journal. “Pimco has been cooperating with the SEC in this nonpublic matter, and we take our regulatory obligations and responsibilities to our clients very seriously,” said the Pimco spokesperson. “We believe our pricing procedures are entirely appropriate and in keeping with industry best practices.” According to the Wall Street Journal, the investigation focuses on the possibility that Pimco boosted returns at its $3.6 billion Pimco Total Return ETF.

 

WEIRD! How about that? Guy crafts the perfect story and jumps off the Titanic seconds before it hits the iceberg. Not only that but

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What a dickhead. Makes his 100s of millions, loses the company a ton of money, then makes up some sob story so he can spend his billions while looking like a hero. I hate it but respect it but really hate it.

By Nate posted September 30th, 2014 at 10:50 AM

Guy Giving Away Two Free O’s Tickets To Women Only In Exchange For Threesome

Who needs two?? If you’re a woman in the Baltimore area and are looking for tickets to Friday’s sold out Orioles playoff game, you’re in luck! This guy is willing to give away two tickets FOR FREE. You and another woman friend just have to be willing to bang it out with him after the game. [...]

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Who needs two?? If you’re a woman in the Baltimore area and are looking for tickets to Friday’s sold out Orioles playoff game, you’re in luck! This guy is willing to give away two tickets FOR FREE. You and another woman friend just have to be willing to bang it out with him after the game. Totally fair trade if you ask me.

There’s nothing wrong with him asking to include some pictures of each candidate too, gotta see what you’re working with. Only serious emails too people, this guy doesn’t have time to be jerked around. So come on ladies, help this guy by taking these tickets off his hands. WHO NEEDS TWO?

h/t Jackie

Follow me on Twitter for all your 2014 Orioles playoff news. @BarstoolRDT

By RDT posted September 30th, 2014 at 10:00 AM

Woman Wins $1 Million Lawsuit After A Radio Station Accidentally Said She Was a Pornstar…And That’s It. $1 Million Dollars.

That’s the luckiest thing I’ve ever heard.

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KC - The Kansas City radio show “Afentra’s Big Fat Morning Buzz” took a big hit from a federal court jury Friday. A woman falsely identified as a porn star during a 2012 broadcast on 96.5 The Buzz was awarded $1 million after a weeklong trial in U.S. District Court in Kansas City, Kan. Ashley Patton filed the suit against the radio station’s owner, Entercom Kansas City, seeking damages for mental suffering, shame and humiliation. The jury awarded Patton $250,000 in actual damages and $750,000 in punitive damages. As part of an agreement negotiated while jurors were deliberating the amount of punitive damages, the company will not appeal the verdict, said Patton’s lawyer, Arthur Benson. Both sides agreed that Patton was not and never had been involved in the pornography industry. Benson told jurors in closing arguments Friday that the company needed to be held accountable for the conduct of employees who acted with reckless disregard of the truth. Fritz Riesmeyer, attorney for Entercom, said that although false and highly offensive, identifying Patton as a porn star was a mistake and not done with malice, as the law required for her to collect damages. “While we are very disappointed in the outcome, we will abide by the jury’s verdict,” Kevin Geary, Entercom spokesman, said Friday. The incident that led to the suit occurred during the April 20, 2012, morning show hosted by Afentra Bandokoudis, known as “Afentra,” and Daniel Terreros, known as “Danny Boi.” During the broadcast, the hosts asked listeners whether they knew of any local porn stars. A short time later, they received a text message that read “Ashley Patton Olathe South. 2007.” After a second text also mentioned Patton, Danny Boi said, “Oh, this girl is going to be good, hold on, guys.” He then said, “Ashley Patton, Olathe South. Let’s Google this chick. This is what I have been waiting for.” But the Google search actually turned up pornographic images of a different woman named Ashley Payton. The radio show hosts didn’t realize the mistake. The station later posted a list of names, including Patton’s, on its website and also posted a link to the podcast of the show. Later that day, after Patton made several calls to station management, it was taken down. In his closing argument, Riesmeyer noted that the mistake Danny Boi made occurred in less than a second. “A mistake was made that day, no question about it,” he said. “However, it was an unknowing mistake.” To award punitive damages, the jury had to find that the company authorized or ratified the actions of the employees and that the actions were willful, wanton or malicious. Riesmeyer said the fact that the company took action as soon as it was made aware of the mistake showed it did not ratify what was done.

 

HOLY SHIT. In case you didn’t catch that, she got a million dollars because a stupid radio station called her a porn star. I can’t even process it. That’s the luckiest thing I’ve ever heard. She’s some random woman who happens to have the same name of an ugly porn star who I wouldn’t even recommend you look up, and now she’s a millionaire. My mind is JFK because it just got blown away. They didn’t post her pictures. They didn’t post any personal information. They didn’t call her a pedophile or a heeb or threaten to face fuck her mom. They said she was a porn star. The compliment of compliments. And it was on their website, which probably 15 people went to all day, for less than a day. And now she has 7 figures in her bank account. I think we have to just start suing everyone now for everything. If it’s a million dollars for calling someone a porn star, Hank owes Pres a billion dollars. Internet commenters calling me a loser which is ironic enough for an Alanis Morissette song owes me at least 10 million. This lawsuit is the new precedent of the justice system. Everyone gets paid!
 

By Nate posted September 30th, 2014 at 9:40 AM
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