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Barstool DMV Smokeshow of the Day – Jackie From Maryland

    Introducing Jackie from Maryland. Another day, another Maryland smokeshow. Just how it works in CP. Hot girls everywhere. Just how it works.       Nominate smokes by sending their Facebook links to DMV@Barstoolsports.com.

 

 

Introducing Jackie from Maryland. Another day, another Maryland smokeshow. Just how it works in CP. Hot girls everywhere. Just how it works.

 

 

 

Nominate smokes by sending their Facebook links to DMV@Barstoolsports.com.

By Nate posted July 23rd, 2014 at 5:30 PM

The Fred Davis Police Report: “I’m gonna slap you cause you’re fakin. Your friend looks like 2 Chainz”

    For reference, Fred Davis is S1. Dropped gems such as “why you with her, she doesn’t have an ass”. Can’t really hate on Fred for asking that, he was genuinely curious. Why would you be with a girl without an ass. His pea sized brain literally couldn’t comprehend it. Some people toss and [...]

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For reference, Fred Davis is S1. Dropped gems such as “why you with her, she doesn’t have an ass”. Can’t really hate on Fred for asking that, he was genuinely curious. Why would you be with a girl without an ass. His pea sized brain literally couldn’t comprehend it. Some people toss and turn at night about what the future holds for them, what happens to us when we die, etc…not ol’ Fred Davis. Just can’t comprehend how someone can be seen with a girl without a big fat ass.

And then needing to slap someone cause they look like 2 Chainz. Again, to Fred Davis, that makes sense. It personally offended him. Don’t come around him looking like 2 Chainz. Day 1 stuff, really.

 

By Nate posted July 23rd, 2014 at 4:57 PM

Awesome Video Of The National Anthem Stand-Off Between The Nationals Aaron Barrett And The Rockies Brandon Barnes

Perfect video. Just two guys leaving it all on the field. No holds barred hell in a cell style. A slobberknocker of mass proportions. No blinking, no giving in. And the good guys coming out on top. Just the way it should be.  


Perfect video. Just two guys leaving it all on the field. No holds barred hell in a cell style. A slobberknocker of mass proportions. No blinking, no giving in. And the good guys coming out on top. Just the way it should be.

 

By Nate posted July 23rd, 2014 at 4:22 PM

Send Out The Smoke Patrol At The Nats vs Rockies Game

  I need a better picture and 100 of em by sundown. What a shellacking she’s putting on that outfit, the stadium, and the state of Colorado.   h/t Jesse

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I need a better picture and 100 of em by sundown. What a shellacking she’s putting on that outfit, the stadium, and the state of Colorado.

 

h/t Jesse

By Nate posted July 23rd, 2014 at 3:51 PM

Jeff Francoeur Fell Victim To Another Prank, This Time Was Locked Into The Bathroom

  Poor Jeff Francoeur. It’s bad enough he went from being a .300/20 home run hitter to riding busses for the El Paso Chihuahuas, but he is still being picked on by guys who might as well be half his age. The good news though is he’s making 7.5 million this year and has made [...]

 

Poor Jeff Francoeur. It’s bad enough he went from being a .300/20 home run hitter to riding busses for the El Paso Chihuahuas, but he is still being picked on by guys who might as well be half his age. The good news though is he’s making 7.5 million this year and has made over 25 million in his career, so I guess being locked in a bathroom isn’t all that bad at the end of the day. And hey, he got out.

 
 

By Nate posted July 23rd, 2014 at 3:34 PM

Trent Williams Is Ready For Camp

  Camp time baby. Football is back. The earth is brown and the grass is green. Sky is blue and the sun is bright. RG3 is healthy and Trent Williams is wearing a shirt that says Blow Me. Everything coming up Redskins.   PS: How many of me could fit into his shorts? 100? PS: [...]

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Camp time baby. Football is back. The earth is brown and the grass is green. Sky is blue and the sun is bright. RG3 is healthy and Trent Williams is wearing a shirt that says Blow Me. Everything coming up Redskins.

 

PS: How many of me could fit into his shorts? 100?
PS: If Trent Williams went rock climbing and got stuck in a crevasse and cut off his arm, and was stuck there for weeks in 100 degrees drinking his own piss, and then he came stumbling out of the cave near dying, would he still be able to kill me with his thumb in under 30 seconds?
 

h/t @LbrarianBooker
 

By Nate posted July 23rd, 2014 at 2:11 PM

DC Police Are Looking For Indefinitely Suspended Fred Davis For a Domestic Violence/Simple Assault

Oh Fred. Fred, Fred, Fred.

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Oh Fred. Fred, Fred, Fred. You coulda been someone. All the tools in the world to be a Pro Bowl tight end. Besides a brain. Must suck to be born without a brain. Everything else is there. Tall, fast, black. The perfect football player. But not two brain cells to rub together.

 

Hogs Haven - Fred Davis is continuing to have one of the worst years of his life, and once again finds himself in trouble with the law. Davis was suspended indefinitely in February for violating the NFL’s PED policy by allegedly taking a substance that was on the NFL’s banned list. The next day Davis was charged with a DUI when he was reportedly asleep at the wheel at an intersection. Davis was able to get that case dismissed by actually hiring an attorney not named Fred Davis. Reports have come out today that Davis is wanted by DC Police in connection with a domestic/simple assault that happened on June 3rd at 3 am. Davis played at the NFL vs Wounded Warriors charity softball game along with several Redskins that same day.

 

I am a bit confused if they legit can’t find him, or are just now getting around to looking, or what. Is he actually hiding from the police, on the run? That would be kinda cool. With training camp kicking off and Jason Hatcher on the PUP and all eyes on RG3 and his knee, we could use an international manhunt for Fred Davis. I don’t hate the idea.
 

By Nate posted July 23rd, 2014 at 1:11 PM

MFK Wednesday in the DMV – This Is What Love Feels Like

There's a teepee where my pants used to be.

Hillary Fisher

Shawn Dillon

Helen Owen

Total Number of Votes: 8346

Hillary Fisher:

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Shawn Dillon:

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Helen Owen:

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MFK Wednesday in the DMV. Three girls that we’ve all fallen in love with. I’m smitten by this Hillary Fisher girl. I fundamentally don’t understand how hot she is. My brain can’t process it. Things I don’t understand: Physics and Hillary Fisher. Next we have Shawn Dillon who I’ve long had a crush on. Her ass, her body, her rack, her face. All are perfect. It’s unbelievable. I get a bunch of Alex Semin in my underroos whenever I see her. And then Helen Owen. What more can be said? Schwing.

Marry: Helen. No real explanation needed. She’s a rocket to Mars. I put her up there with MLK and Lincoln in terms of important people in US history. Lets put her on the 2 dollar bill.

Fuck: Shawn. I simply cannot get over her ass in that blue floss. I want it painted on the inside of my eyelids.

Kill: Hillary. Well this sucks.

By Nate posted July 23rd, 2014 at 12:05 PM

West Virginia QB Clint Trickett Says What We Are All Thinking, Would Rather Die Than Watch Football With Chicks

#TheseHoesAintLoyal

Clint-Trickett-tweet

 

LBS - West Virginia quarterback Clint Trickett, who was recently named the starter by Mountaineers head coach Dana Holgorsen, prefers to watch football surrounded only by men. How do we know this? Well, a tweet the senior sent last week pretty much says it all. Trickett learned the hard way that everything a player does on social media is magnified when he sent a sexist tweet about watching football with girls. He later deactivated his Twitter account, but not before Deadspin captured a screenshot. Naturally, Trickett issued an apology on Tuesday night after his tweet went viral. “I sent out a tweet on July 17 which was misunderstood,” he said, via Allan Taylor of MetroNews. “I apologize for any confusion that the tweet has caused. I never intended for it to be derogatory or hurtful, but rather a tongue-in-cheek comment, while watching a CFL football game with a female family member. Again, I am sorry that my tweet was misunderstood, and I will use a better choice of words in the future.”

 

So apparently people are a bit up in arms about Clint Trickett saying dying is literally worse than watching football with chicks. Umm, ever done it? Do it and get back to him with an apology. Watching with chicks who don’t know dick is the nut worst. Asking if the players can see the yellow line, what the quarterback does, if the guy from the thing on the show is still playing, it’s just the worst. So yea, literally dying sometimes does sound better.

But there’s more to this tweet than just that. How about Trickett admitting he’s watching the CFL? Who the fuck does that? I didn’t even realize we could watch the CFL in this here United States. Anthony Rendon plays baseball and can’t even be bothered to watch baseball, but Trickett is watching the CFL? That’s lunacy.

And then third, and maybe the best part, is in his apology he says he was watching the CFL game “with a female family member”. OH! That explains the hashtag #TheseHoesAintLoyal. I was wondering who that unloyal Hoe was, and now I know. A family member. His sister, that unloyal hoe. At least he compliments her cooking though.

By Nate posted July 23rd, 2014 at 11:10 AM

Studies Show It’s Scientifically Impossible To Go To Buffalo Wild Wings And Not Shit Your Brains Out After

No atheists in a foxhole nor the bathroom after Bdubs.

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I don’t know why I do it. But I always find my way back to Buffalo Wild Wings for some 60 cent wings, and it’s always the best/worst decision of all time. It’s almost like I think to myself, “you know I was just thinking that I haven’t shit my brains out in quite a while, let’s change that”. So of course last night I sauntered on down to the nearest location, and I’ll spare you the details, but I’m still batting 1000. And it happens to literally everyone I know. It’s a scientific fact. Gravity, dinosaurs, and BWW will fuck you up. No atheists in a foxhole nor the bathroom after Bdubs. Just praying it ends and you can get on with your life and you’ll start giving to charity and spending more time with your family. Simply put, if you eat BWW, there’s a 100% chance you shit out your internal organs that night/the next day. On the other hand, it’s actually a solid dieting technique for anyone looking to shed a few pounds. It’ll just roll out of you like lava. So that’s where I’m at. Have yourself a day.
 

By Nate posted July 23rd, 2014 at 10:20 AM
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